Post by tiger on Feb 2, 2019 10:46:52 GMT
That's a problem everybody will face one day. Maybe already happened, maybe not yet. But how can you deal with this? How can you make her feel NOT guilty about having sex with you?
In my case, it happened last week.
A little background sure would be useful. I know this girl since 2015 (university):
- 1st year: we flirt, I ask her out, she accepts, next day she tells me maybe it isn't a good idea.
- 2nd year: she studies abroad, no contacts.
- 3rd year: this time I'm the one studying abroad, since she's studied in the same country (not the same city though) I emailed her asking 2-3 random things, then we stopped writing.
- 4th year: we stare at each other, we say "hi how are you", smalltalk, we go out, we made out, undress on the bed, foreplay (she didn't want oral, only fingers) but when we're about to have sex she says "wait sorry... I'm already in love with someone...", I say "it's okay, don't need to be sorry", so we continue with kisses and fingers. She didn't do anything to me. [Afterwards she texted me that she has a complicated relationship with sex and that her body really wanted it, but her mind didn't]. After a week we met again and made out again, passionate but something colder. In bed she stops and tells me "I've to tell you two things... First I've a boyfriend abroad and next week I'll go visit him... Second I'm not sure about this [between us]". I told her that's okay, that I've a girlfriend, but things aren't going too well [sadly true]. We continue making out, but after a while she said it's better if I go and if I'm okay with this. I went away.
Well, this is it. We texted briefly afterwards. My last message was something like "I didn't want to insist too much. I think it's important that it has to be mutual." (long story short). She never replied.
What do you think? My opinion is that since she's going to see her bf soon, she felt somewhat guilty and didn't want to do more. I've a feeling that she bought condoms that day (I've seen a drug store plastic bag in her purse even though she told me she went to the grocery store... we met before she went home).
Now I stop overanalysing things, haha.
I kindly ask for your opinion: do you think this girl is lost? Still recoverable? What should I tell her to make her comfortable (if she wants to see me again)?
P.S. I don't want a relationship with her. But for me she's a 10, so I'd rather not lose her.
Thank you!
In my case, it happened last week.
A little background sure would be useful. I know this girl since 2015 (university):
- 1st year: we flirt, I ask her out, she accepts, next day she tells me maybe it isn't a good idea.
- 2nd year: she studies abroad, no contacts.
- 3rd year: this time I'm the one studying abroad, since she's studied in the same country (not the same city though) I emailed her asking 2-3 random things, then we stopped writing.
- 4th year: we stare at each other, we say "hi how are you", smalltalk, we go out, we made out, undress on the bed, foreplay (she didn't want oral, only fingers) but when we're about to have sex she says "wait sorry... I'm already in love with someone...", I say "it's okay, don't need to be sorry", so we continue with kisses and fingers. She didn't do anything to me. [Afterwards she texted me that she has a complicated relationship with sex and that her body really wanted it, but her mind didn't]. After a week we met again and made out again, passionate but something colder. In bed she stops and tells me "I've to tell you two things... First I've a boyfriend abroad and next week I'll go visit him... Second I'm not sure about this [between us]". I told her that's okay, that I've a girlfriend, but things aren't going too well [sadly true]. We continue making out, but after a while she said it's better if I go and if I'm okay with this. I went away.
Well, this is it. We texted briefly afterwards. My last message was something like "I didn't want to insist too much. I think it's important that it has to be mutual." (long story short). She never replied.
What do you think? My opinion is that since she's going to see her bf soon, she felt somewhat guilty and didn't want to do more. I've a feeling that she bought condoms that day (I've seen a drug store plastic bag in her purse even though she told me she went to the grocery store... we met before she went home).
Now I stop overanalysing things, haha.
I kindly ask for your opinion: do you think this girl is lost? Still recoverable? What should I tell her to make her comfortable (if she wants to see me again)?
P.S. I don't want a relationship with her. But for me she's a 10, so I'd rather not lose her.
Thank you!