chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 21, 2020 9:59:48 GMT
When I talk to girls, I like to be playful and to fool around with them a bit. I tease and flirt, and most girls love it and return the favor. Of course I don't overdo this and look like her 'clown', but I think you get the idea. It makes sure there's a nice vibe when meeting a woman.
However, sometimes I meet a girl who doesn't seem to play this teasing and flirting game that much or not at all. Last week I encountered an example of this, I met a girl and she looked really like my type. She even asked me to grab a drink and we did. It was fun and I got her to open up about herself more, we had quite some things in common which I liked. Also did some light touching etc and at the end she told me she liked it and we kissed. All good you would say.
However, I noticed it's very hard to be really playful with her and to keep things light. When I try to tease or flirt, I mostly get a boring response back, as if she either doesn't get it or is quite closed off herself. She asks me questions sometimes, but these are questions like 'how was your workday'. When we met, I could get her talking about herself which lead to a better connection, but that flirty and challenging vibe was kind of missing.
Of course I could say that we are not a match based on this, but I have a feeling it's too early for that. I want to see who she really is.
Normally I would turn boring questions around with some witty or funny reply and change the topic. As I have the feeling that she doesnt get that, I could do two things:
1. Go with the flow and keep talking about serious stuff all the time, and running out of things to say
2. Try to keep things lighter but risk overdoing it
How would you guys proceed? Basically it would be helpful to know what makes those girls tick and what makes them loosen up.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Aug 21, 2020 13:22:40 GMT
Ask her about herself, then shut the fuck up and listen. There is no reason you always need to play Cedric the Entertainer. It's human nature that her favorite subject is herself. It’s important for her, for you to realize how much she has to offer.
Learning about her is the best rapport you can build.
You want a girl to be into you? Know her.
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 21, 2020 15:25:30 GMT
Ask her about herself, then shut the fuck up and listen. There is no reason you always need to play Cedric the Entertainer. It's human nature that her favorite subject is herself. It’s important for her, for you to realize how much she has to offer. Learning about her is the best rapport you can build. You want a girl to be into you? Know her. Thanks. Getting to know her was the part that went quite well. But normally I mix it up with some banter and light stuff. That doesn't go that well, but perhaps it gets better once I know her better. |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 21, 2020 17:41:29 GMT
A quick way to find out how a woman is going to respond is by talking about her family growing up. That's where they learn their basics on how to deal with men. For instance, if her father(father figure) tended to be less "entertaining" then she's not going to respond as well to it because she doesn't know how.
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Aug 22, 2020 9:53:49 GMT
As Jack said. Some women are brought up in very Conservitate environments and wrapped up in Cotton Wool. Flirting just doesn't work, and can often go against you. With these, you have to talk normally and really dial in to their interests and find common ground, and it also may take a few dates to get them into bed.
A lot of guys will not persue girls like this as it takes a lot of effort and patience with no guaranteed success. But if you do find common ground and are prepared to put the time in and not let the "I'm not ready yet" and "I want us to be together for x months before we sleep together" responses get you down. Also if you push them too hard, you will lose them, have to get it just right. Best advice with these is to have other girls on the go so that sort's out the abundance mentallity, and play the slow burn game. The other thing is you can take the time to build up knowledge about them and their background and past, where as most guys will give up, so you won't have to worry as much about her going off into the sunset with another guy.
Personally, these types are good to have as side projects while you have other plates spinning.
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 22, 2020 16:34:05 GMT
Ask her about herself, then shut the fuck up and listen. There is no reason you always need to play Cedric the Entertainer. It's human nature that her favorite subject is herself. It’s important for her, for you to realize how much she has to offer. Learning about her is the best rapport you can build. You want a girl to be into you? Know her. Bang on. Somebody get the man a coke and sticky this. |
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 23, 2020 20:05:13 GMT
Thanks guys, went out with her again and the date was pretty cool. I had to carry the conversation myself in the beginning but later she started talking more as I really wanted to know more about her.
She started talking about her father too, and she told me he was a quite closed off emotionally. In the end we didn't go home together but that will happen soon.
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 24, 2020 22:13:30 GMT
Thanks guys, went out with her again and the date was pretty cool. I had to carry the conversation myself in the beginning but later she started talking more as I really wanted to know more about her. She started talking about her father too, and she told me he was a quite closed off emotionally. In the end we didn't go home together but that will happen soon. How’s her father? |
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 24, 2020 22:33:48 GMT
Thanks guys, went out with her again and the date was pretty cool. I had to carry the conversation myself in the beginning but later she started talking more as I really wanted to know more about her. She started talking about her father too, and she told me he was a quite closed off emotionally. In the end we didn't go home together but that will happen soon. How’s her father? She said he was never really interested in previous boyfriends and that she never talked with him about that. But, he is a popular figure in their hometown. That's basically what she told me. I related to that with some personal experiences. At that point I didnt even need any funny remarks at all as she was sitting next to me with my arm around her. Today she invited me for dinner. I guess we all know what's going to happen. |
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Aug 25, 2020 11:54:36 GMT
She's going to say "I really like you as a friend."
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Aug 25, 2020 14:11:51 GMT
She's going to say "I really like you as a friend." Sadly with girls like this, it's a really fine line between pushing her away by being too full on, or being too serious and friend zonimg yourself. It's why many guys won't put the time in on these types and for the ones that do, have other plates spinning so can walk when the "lets just be friends" line comes out, and hit up a booty call afterwards. I've been successful on a few occasions with girls of this nature, but I have both pushed them away for being too forward and friendzoned for being a nice guy to them. It's one of my sticking points and is primarily why I tend to leave those for others unless they put it on a plate or they are just a side project where the result of it is no big deal. |
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 25, 2020 15:01:59 GMT
Don't worry, that's not going to happen. Last time she was longing for a longer kiss.
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 25, 2020 16:27:02 GMT
Just be you.
If they don’t like that, fuck em’.
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Post by curtis72 on Aug 25, 2020 20:19:35 GMT
A quick way to find out how a woman is going to respond is by talking about her family growing up. That's where they learn their basics on how to deal with men. For instance, if her father(father figure) tended to be less "entertaining" then she's not going to respond as well to it because she doesn't know how. Great post! Out of interest, what do you say about girls who grew up without a father figure? |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 20:50:27 GMT
A quick way to find out how a woman is going to respond is by talking about her family growing up. That's where they learn their basics on how to deal with men. For instance, if her father(father figure) tended to be less "entertaining" then she's not going to respond as well to it because she doesn't know how. Great post! Out of interest, what do you say about girls who grew up without a father figure? The most important thing that you can do to attract a girl that has no father figure is lead with confidence. As a matter of fact, lead to the point where she is hardly in the decision making process. Don't "would you like to...?" type of talk with them and instead "we're going to..." communication. Most of these girls have walls that constantly go up and down, so really decide if they are actually worth the headache. |
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