maestro
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Post by maestro on Dec 11, 2023 11:19:02 GMT
Does anyone have fear of success? It's kind of strange but I have no fear of failure for most things in my life because I've failed at many things and it just doesn't bother me. Howver, for some reason I have a fear of succeeding, I feel butterflies in my stomach and get nervous that if I succeed with woman or become succesful in my finances that all the attention will be on me. This is mostly for women, it scares me to think if I become very succesful I won't be able to handle the pressure and attention I get. I am also an introvert by nature so it makes sense that I would not light having the spotlight on me all the time. Does anyone else have this problem and know how they got over it?
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Post by Alex Penn on Dec 11, 2023 13:46:57 GMT
Fear of success is more common than you think, my man. It's that pressure and attention that can feel overwhelming. It's okay to feel nervous. As an introvert, find your balance – success doesn't mean losing yourself. If you need advice or someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
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maestro
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Post by maestro on Dec 11, 2023 13:57:29 GMT
Thanks man!
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G-host
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Post by G-host on Dec 11, 2023 15:39:12 GMT
The way i handle nervousness is by acknowledge that i am this, and i tell myself that yes, i am nervous but at the same time, im also excited. That plays out well for me
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Post by JackZero on Dec 11, 2023 17:46:57 GMT
Answer this question for me. Are you confidant that you will be successful if you put in the effort on finances and/or women?
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maestro
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Post by maestro on Dec 11, 2023 18:07:37 GMT
To be honest no, with finances the answer is yes I think I will be but with women I still have this doubt in my head that it might not work or that I wasn't meant to succeed at this you know like maybe I was just meant to get married and move on or something. Extremely blunt but honest answer.
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Post by JackZero on Dec 11, 2023 19:40:33 GMT
To be honest no, with finances the answer is yes I think I will be but with women I still have this doubt in my head that it might not work or that I wasn't meant to succeed at this you know like maybe I was just meant to get married and move on or something. Extremely blunt but honest answer. You realize that you are talking about a fear of failure when it comes to women, right? The fact that you say that you may not be meant to succeed(I'm going to come back to this statement) and then follow up with being meant to get married and move on does not match being afraid of the pressure and attention that you may get. In fact, based only on this thread, it sounds like that may be the preferable thing for you. The visual and the thought of a man that has a lot of women in his life is awesome but it may not be fulfilling to a lot, if not most, men. It's okay if that's how you really feel, so you may need to sit down and really think about your goal for being in this. You may decide that you want to become good with women just so you can find one woman. That's not a bad goal if it fits who you really are. As for "...or that I wasn't meant to succeed" statement. That one bothers me because it is a statement that takes the responsibility away from you. It justifies your doubt when things may seem difficult. I know a lot of guys make this stuff sound easy, and it is in a way if you understand what you are doing, but rejection can be a monster if being good with women is actually something that you want. If you aren't good now, you'll have to put in the work to do it and when you hit sticking points you cannot fall on "I wasn't meant to succeed". Instead, you have to look at how you can improve?
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maestro
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Post by maestro on Dec 11, 2023 20:32:56 GMT
I understand, I think I want to get good at this for the next 5-7 years and then possibly settle down with one girl for awhile. I feel like your always in the game and evolving anyway. Single or not, when I say "not meant to succeed at this" I mean just the pickup part of life, not overall success in other areas. Some guys never do I guess and as you say some guys make it look easy, but theres no point in giving in now and if I'm not getting what I want all I have to do is adjust and keep trying. Thanks for the response!
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Post by JackZero on Dec 11, 2023 21:21:37 GMT
I understand, I think I want to get good at this for the next 5-7 years and then possibly settle down with one girl for awhile. I feel like your always in the game and evolving anyway. Single or not, when I say "not meant to succeed at this" I mean just the pickup part of life, not overall success in other areas. Some guys never do I guess and as you say some guys make it look easy, but theres no point in giving in now and if I'm not getting what I want all I have to do is adjust and keep trying. Thanks for the response! Good on you... And yes, that's why I asked the question about finances and women. You made it really clear that the finance wasn't really the concern. A lot of guys are happier with the dream of one day being good with women(not saying you) and will make excuses for why they are not in order to protect their ego. They'll procrastinate and make excuses for why they don't go for it. I just don't want it to be you. That's kind of why I was trying to get you to look inward and be really clear of what you were saying. Since you are saying that you are not going to give in, and instead adjust, you'll be able to pull it off.
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maestro
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Post by maestro on Dec 11, 2023 21:35:19 GMT
Thanks man, like I said I want to do this for the next 5-7 years atleast and just keep learning and adjusting, if I'm getting out enough I think that's enough time to master it. Neil Strauss took about three or four years to get to mastery and other PUAs say your always learning and refining even when your an "expert". I will be posting success stories and learning experiences. Thanks!
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