Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jul 27, 2018 19:39:52 GMT
So funny I thought I'd share.
There seems to be a lot of confusion over these terms, so I thought I'd offer my own little glossary of what I understand to be the different forms of catfishing in the world of online dating. Feel free to amend as you see fit.
There seems to be a lot of confusion over these terms, so I thought I'd offer my own little glossary of what I understand to be the different forms of catfishing in the world of online dating. Feel free to amend as you see fit.
catfishing: the classic act of creating a false identity online, usually for the purposes of virtual romantic entanglements or for extorting money from or swindling a target
fatfishing: reducing the appearance of one's weight through the use of odd camera angles, outdated photographs, or extreme close-up face shots
hatfishing: hiding one's baldness with hats, creative photo cropping, or other means to boost one's appearance of youth and virility
sadfishing: catfishing while depressed, which, let's face it, is probably most catfishing
kittenfishing: any form of pretending to be something that one is not, without however going so far as to create an entirely fictional identity
dogfishing: posing with someone else's dog in a profile pic in order to win brownie points from dog lovers
chadfishing: the use, often by incels, of unbelievably good-looking male images often coupled with ludicrously offensive and illiterate bios in an attempt to prove that women respond only to men with good looks and big muscles
stacyfishing: the use, often by Nice Girls, of unbelievably good-looking female images often coupled with ludicrously offensive and illiterate bios in an attempt to prove that men respond only to women with good looks and big boobs
bradfishing: using Brad Pitt as a profile pic, possibly without recognizing who it is because A River Runs Through It was a really long time ago and geez, he looks totally different from this one angle
gagfishing: falsely claiming to have a penis too large for fellatio to be at all enjoyable, except that it gives the owner of the penis a chance to say things like "breathe through your nose"
catfisting: attempting to get dates by claiming to be into taboo forms of kink that you know your crush happens to be curious about even though you would totally never do that. I mean, you wouldn't, right? Well, I mean maybe, but only after a ton of booze and you better not ever fucking tell your buddy Chet about this, okay?
bratfishing: attempting to get dates by posing with your neighbor's kids or maybe that's your niece? Anyway, she's not yours and what are you trying to imply by being seen with all these kids?
swordfishing: attempting to get dates by pretending to be an 18th-century French pirate
fishnetting: claiming to be Bettie Page, which is somehow still hot to the right audience, and really at your age, who's to say you're not her?
slackfishing: attempting to get dates by claiming to be a 34-year-old stoner keyboardist from Austin who was really, really about to get signed by that one label, but then they went out of business because the general manager snorted coke for 3 days straight and flipped his shit at that South by Southwest panel on mobile technologies for the craft knitting community.
-Swipey McSwiper
There seems to be a lot of confusion over these terms, so I thought I'd offer my own little glossary of what I understand to be the different forms of catfishing in the world of online dating. Feel free to amend as you see fit.
There seems to be a lot of confusion over these terms, so I thought I'd offer my own little glossary of what I understand to be the different forms of catfishing in the world of online dating. Feel free to amend as you see fit.
catfishing: the classic act of creating a false identity online, usually for the purposes of virtual romantic entanglements or for extorting money from or swindling a target
fatfishing: reducing the appearance of one's weight through the use of odd camera angles, outdated photographs, or extreme close-up face shots
hatfishing: hiding one's baldness with hats, creative photo cropping, or other means to boost one's appearance of youth and virility
sadfishing: catfishing while depressed, which, let's face it, is probably most catfishing
kittenfishing: any form of pretending to be something that one is not, without however going so far as to create an entirely fictional identity
dogfishing: posing with someone else's dog in a profile pic in order to win brownie points from dog lovers
chadfishing: the use, often by incels, of unbelievably good-looking male images often coupled with ludicrously offensive and illiterate bios in an attempt to prove that women respond only to men with good looks and big muscles
stacyfishing: the use, often by Nice Girls, of unbelievably good-looking female images often coupled with ludicrously offensive and illiterate bios in an attempt to prove that men respond only to women with good looks and big boobs
bradfishing: using Brad Pitt as a profile pic, possibly without recognizing who it is because A River Runs Through It was a really long time ago and geez, he looks totally different from this one angle
gagfishing: falsely claiming to have a penis too large for fellatio to be at all enjoyable, except that it gives the owner of the penis a chance to say things like "breathe through your nose"
catfisting: attempting to get dates by claiming to be into taboo forms of kink that you know your crush happens to be curious about even though you would totally never do that. I mean, you wouldn't, right? Well, I mean maybe, but only after a ton of booze and you better not ever fucking tell your buddy Chet about this, okay?
bratfishing: attempting to get dates by posing with your neighbor's kids or maybe that's your niece? Anyway, she's not yours and what are you trying to imply by being seen with all these kids?
swordfishing: attempting to get dates by pretending to be an 18th-century French pirate
fishnetting: claiming to be Bettie Page, which is somehow still hot to the right audience, and really at your age, who's to say you're not her?
slackfishing: attempting to get dates by claiming to be a 34-year-old stoner keyboardist from Austin who was really, really about to get signed by that one label, but then they went out of business because the general manager snorted coke for 3 days straight and flipped his shit at that South by Southwest panel on mobile technologies for the craft knitting community.
-Swipey McSwiper