Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jul 31, 2018 12:58:01 GMT
Okay it seems like from time to time the forum topics always manage to make me angry enough to make a rant but this time I'll try to avoid ranting all together and just talk about how to behave in relationships because clearly many guys have absolutely no idea here. Some topics make me want to cry and I also want to punch some of the KJs in the face for the clearly stupid advice they give.
Now let's start with this MEGA post, shall we?
First of all, let's see what needs to be provided in a relationship to be working.
1) Topmost important thing: YOU MUST BE HAPPY
It's just common sense but guys somehow seem to always forget about this. The point of a relationship is to make both parties happier and if this doesn't stand then something went terribly wrong...
What NOT TO do:
-Neglecting your friends for your girlfriend
-Neglecting your family for your girlfriend
-Neglecting your hobbies/studies/work etc. for your girlfriend.
Sure sometimes you will want to prefer your girlfriend over other important things because else she will feel you neglect her and it's not good but you can't just skip on your entire life because of her. It will kill you. You will become very insecure and start taking up beta behaviour.
What TO do:
-Find a balance in your time schedule. Spend as much time with your girlfriend as it is possible, but make sure you also have time for friends, and all other things that are important to you in your life.
2) Next very important thing: Sex.
No sex means the relationship is close to its end. Except for very special cases where sex wasn't there initially. This could happen with young virgin girls, and overly religious girls. Contrary to the community's belief there are still woman out there who wait with sex until marriage. Yes, they are very rare, but there are.
Well anyway, back to sex, even in these rare cases a sexual vibe should always be present because that's the sign of attraction between you two. No sexual vibe means the relationship is technically over.
There are also some other very important aspects of sex.
a) Leading.
Most of the time when you're having sex you should be leading. Move your girl around. Switch positions. Hold her hand down to the bed. There are lots of ways to do this. Don't just lay there and watch her ride you. You don't like it when the girl is just lying there like a branch doing nothing while you do her, do you?
b) Giving and expecting pleasure.
This has never been an issue for me, though I see this as a common problem. For me, pleasuring women is the thing that makes the happiest. Looking at their faces, hearing their screams, and feeling all the energy they let out when they cum is priceless for me. And because I always treated them so well in bed they never had a problem going down on me either. The point is to make the sex as good for both of you as it is possible. As long as this is working, there could hardly be an important issue with the relationship. But this works reverse too. You can not make this work if there are other problems that threathen the relationship. You need to first solve them, if it is not too late.
c) Variety.
Always doing the same thing over and over again will become borig. Switch positions. Switch places(kitchen, bathroom, note: make sure you don't get caught if you do it in public). Get some roleplay done. Do some fantasies. By just putting a little effort in it, it is really easy to keep the sex interesting. You can change anything you want as long as it affects the experience. One time you want to start it slowly and gently with lots of foreplay in the bedroom, lights off. The other time you just grab her in the kitchen, kiss her hard, start undressing her, tear her panties off and destroy her pussy. Always make her wonder when, where, and how you're going to fuck her next. The more she thinks about you fucking her, the better it is.
Summary:
How NOT TO behave:
-Be submissive(exception is roleplay)
-Ask for things(example: Would you go down on me?)
-Be predictable
-Be selfish
How TO behave:
-Be leading, dominant
-DO things(example: Go down on her then put your dick in her face and say "Suck it!")
-Be unpredictable(she should feel you could fuck her anywhere, anytime, anyhow)
-Make sure the sex is awesome for both of you.
3) Providing emotions.
First of all, the strongest way to provide emotions is with sex, but I talk about this because many guys seem to forget that the relationship doesn't only take place in the bedroom and if your daily life is boring, it will get to you in the sex in no time too.
Women need to experience a variety of emotions to stay interested in a relationship. The most important of these are:
a) A feeling of being desired.
Your girl needs to know that you want her. That she drives you crazy. It is NOT needy as long as you remain a leader. This is a very common mistake. The girl starts acting distant and in response the guy goes NC for a week when the girl only needed the guy to express his desire. Of course he's doing the opposite because he doesn't understand his gf and the relationship will end in a trainwreck. I'll probably repeat this line a few times in this and the next section but it's important. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. They always signal their needs in one or another way.
How NOT TO provide this feeling:
-Act jealous
-Act needy
-Consistently buy her all kinds of expensive things
What else NOT TO do:
-Ignore her for no reason
-Play with her head in a bad way(making her jealous is the perfect example for this. It just never works and always backfires)
-Making her do favours for you without compensation.
How TO provide this feeling:
-Give her mind blowing orgasms
-Appreciate her personality traits and her body
-Say intimate things in bed
-Take her out occasionally and do exciting things.
-Introduce her to your friends. Later when you've been together for a while, your parents.
-Make, or buy small things that remind her of you, or something you did together occasionally(not 24/7)
-Very rarely(anniversary, birthday) go over the top with being romantic(still don't be needy)
-Be proud of her in public(hold her hands or her hips, peck her on the lips or cheeks, dance with her when you're out clubbing etc...)
-Be a gentleman overall, be Satan's curse in the bedroom.
b) A feeling of having the best possible mate.
Your girl always need to feel that you're the best she could ever find and that no other guy can compare to you. It's a bit tricky to do this.
How NOT TO try achieving this:
-"I'm the best you'll ever have"(This is rude and arrogant)
-Brag about your achievements to her
-Ignore or degrade her achievements
-Make her feel inferior.
What else NOT TO do:
-"You deserve so much better than me"(says the opposite)
-Making her feel like she's generally better than you(sooner or later she will believe it)
How TO try achieving this:
-Bring value to her life(aka have an interesting life yourself which is worthy of being part of)
-Always make her see that you never have enough and you improve yourself in some aspect of your life EVERY DAY
-Get her involved in some of your activities, hobbies.
-Ask for her help if you need it and then thank her.
-Fulfill all other criteria mentioned
c) A feeling of trust and being trusted.
Your woman needs to feel you trust her. It's the #1 reason why women start acting bitchy, when their partner is not trusting them. You also need to behave like you're trustworthy. Sure, you need to be a bit misterious, and nonpredictable but that doesn't mean she can never know where you are or what are you doing. It will get suspicious even if you're not doing anything wrong. She will become very insecure and hurt if you don't realize the problem. Typical behaviour is that she starts critisizing everything new you're doing like "You never ate sushi before. Why did you start it now?" etc...
How NOT TO achieve this:
-Be predictable
-"You know you can trust me baby"(No she doesn't. and this just doesn't help)
-Let her do anything she wants without feedback(sometimes it's not you, it's her)
What else NOT TO do:
-Stay out late always without ever mentioning what you're doing
-Act jealous.
How TO achieve this:
-Let her live her life as long as she's not doing anything suspicious.
-If you come home late make sure you let her know what happened.
-Don't cheat(pretty obvious, I know)
d) A feeling of safety
Your girl wants to feel safe with you. She needs to know that if shit happens you know how to handle it and can protect her.
How NOT TO achieve this:
-Acting needy
-Being predictable(it provides a fake feeling of safety which backfires)
What else NOT TO do:
-Being agressive(with her it's completely unacceptable. if you do it with other people she will wonder if she does anything wrong you will act the same with her)
-Not caring to extreme extents(if your girlfriend is being mocked, it's your duty as a man to stand up for her)
How TO achieve this:
-Always stay strong and calm.
-Don't lose your cool and your frame.
-Be understanding and supporting.
-Always stand up for your girlfriend if she needs you.
-Make sure she trusts you and she feels that you trust her too.
e) A feeling of variety
If you're boring your girl will get bored and will look for other, more exciting opportunities. This could be very dangerous because then every guy becomes a threath since all of them have something you don't: They're not you, thus they provide variety. Sooner or later there will be signals and guys usually misinterpret it, starts acting needy and jealous and only make it worse.
How NOT TO achieve variety:
-Do completely insane things(I mean really completely insane. Once I told a guy he needs to be more unpredictable and he took a shit in front of the front door of his gf. Not cool...)
What else NOT TO do:
-Getting lost in the daily routines.
-Making your relationship look like you're a pensionary couple.
-Being overly predictable.
How TO achieve variety:
-Go out and do active things together as much as possible
-Spice up sex
-Invite friends over
-Stay misterious, always making her wonder what you're gonna do next
f) A feeling of being understood
Your girl needs to feel that you understand and care about her feelings. To her, this means that if anything happens she can count on you. This has more to do with communication so I'll talk about this explicitly in that section.
4) Communication
This is a big one. And many guys fail with properly communicating with their girl. As a result the girl will feel the guy does not understand, or even worse that he doesn't care about her feelings. This is when things start going in a downward spiral. The girl will start to behave strangely, the guy will be clueless, and in return the girl will feel even worse and from this point there's no stopping. Girl goes mad starts acting completely irrational and the guy just crumbles. I have seen this scenario happen on these forum boards at least a few dozens of times. So let's get into this.
The very first pick-up principle is that woman are more emotional than rational yet this fact is somehow completely ignored by many many guys when they're trying to communicate with their girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, rational arguments are completely fine when you're arguing about something like "Which house to buy?" or anything other that really needs rational thinking to make a decision. But when it's about emotional situation you need to use your rational thinking in another way. To be explicit, you need to use it as a woman and rationalize things backwards. It's not so hard as it seems, because men do this backward rationalization too, just not as often as women.
The most important thing is to ALWAYS PAY ATTENTIONT TO YOUR GIRL. She will signal you any problem she has and you have to pick up on these ASAP.
Typical is this:
"What's the problem, honey?"
"Nothing"
And the guy knows there's a problem, yet he's unable to crack the code.
There are several ways to get past this, I'll try to list the most useful ones that I use.
First of all, look for signs. The problem might not be related to you at all. She could have a really bad day and just don't want to talk about it to get herself even more upset. The other case is that the problem is related to you, and in this case there're always very clear signs about it. Start thinking about what you did recently and recall anything that could have even remotely caused her to feel blue. If you have found something, think it over again making sure you're not just trying to get out of the problem with making the first thing that came to your mind the cause of it. If you identified the problem you can proceed to tell her: "Look babe, I can imagine that /this and that/ made you feel bad. It wasn't my intention, I was just overloaded at the moment and didn't pay close attention to you. Let's go out and eat something, because it won't get any better if we just sit here at home in silence". Any good girlfriend will appreciate that you take the responsibility for your actions and that you want to make it up for her.
Second thing is if your search was unsuccessful, or you're not sure enough about the cause you should never ask:
"What's the problem?" "What's wrong?" or anything like that. It turns on the "Nothing" answer immediately whether it's true or not.
"I see you're not feeling good today, and I don't like that. Tell me what made you feel sad, I'll listen and see what I can do about it"
At this point they either tell you the problem or say "You can not do anything about it". If it's the latter it's time to grab your balls...
"Let me decide about that. If you don't tell me then of course I can't do anything, but only if you briefly described it I think I'd be able to cheer you up."
If they still don't crack then time for the secret weapon:
"Too bad. I had a little surprise for you, but you don't seem like you'd want it now so probably some other time"
See this is the point. You're evoking emotions. One of the strongest of them actually: curiousity. She will start wondering what is that surprise. Yeah you probably didn't plan anything, but now you do. Take her out and do something together that will make her feel relieved. Sports are excellent for this. I usually come up with some silly game that will make her so involved that she forgets about being sad. It either solves the problem all in all, or will make her say a big thank you explaining why she felt bad. Yeah of course more complex and deeper problems will not go away this easily, then you have to show support and care.
Now that's about finding out her problems, now how to explain your problems.
The most common are: lack of sex and strange and/or disrespectful behaviour.
By the way these are already warning signs, so she's either too immature for a relationship or you fucked up something big time. I recommend you always assume the second one first, and then if you did your best to make it up and still no change, then it's definitely the first one. In which case, sadly, you will have to find a new girlfriend. Relationships require two people to work, you can't do it all alone. Sometimes it's just better for both of you to take different paths. Well anyway, more on that later. Now let's focus on how to properly present your problems to your girlfriend.
Most common mistakes guy do in these situations:
-Not saying anything, just accepting it and killing them on the inside.
-Getting their ego all up and start acting demandingly ("I have the right to have sex with you." "You don't have the rights to behave like that with me")
-Miscommunicate in a way that the girl will not understand. ("I think we should have more sex" "I don't like the way you acted last time")
So if none of these work then what to do?
Remember what I started with? Women are EMOTIONAL. So when you're communicating your problems you need to put emphasys on emotions. She will understand so much better. Let me illustrate:
"It bothers me that we don't have as much sex anymore"-->This is bad. It doesn't get to the emotional root of the problem. This won't make the girl understand it. It's only natural for her that you don't have so much sex because for some reason she doesn't desire you so much anymore.
"I feel like we became a bit distant.(Seems familiar from girls to anyone? Not a coincidence) You know I love you, and I know you love me. I want to work this out before it's too late"
^At this point she is engaged emotionally so she will start talking about her own emotions. Pay VERY CLOSE attention to what she's saying because between the lines there will be written EXACTLY why she thinks this is happening. It's hard to explain this theoritically. I will use an example about how to read between the lines. This is parts of a facebook conversation between me and my girlfriend. I noticed that she doesn't pay close attention to me many times. She's more involved with her animes and mangas despite that the sex is awesome.
Now let's start with this MEGA post, shall we?
First of all, let's see what needs to be provided in a relationship to be working.
1) Topmost important thing: YOU MUST BE HAPPY
It's just common sense but guys somehow seem to always forget about this. The point of a relationship is to make both parties happier and if this doesn't stand then something went terribly wrong...
What NOT TO do:
-Neglecting your friends for your girlfriend
-Neglecting your family for your girlfriend
-Neglecting your hobbies/studies/work etc. for your girlfriend.
Sure sometimes you will want to prefer your girlfriend over other important things because else she will feel you neglect her and it's not good but you can't just skip on your entire life because of her. It will kill you. You will become very insecure and start taking up beta behaviour.
What TO do:
-Find a balance in your time schedule. Spend as much time with your girlfriend as it is possible, but make sure you also have time for friends, and all other things that are important to you in your life.
2) Next very important thing: Sex.
No sex means the relationship is close to its end. Except for very special cases where sex wasn't there initially. This could happen with young virgin girls, and overly religious girls. Contrary to the community's belief there are still woman out there who wait with sex until marriage. Yes, they are very rare, but there are.
Well anyway, back to sex, even in these rare cases a sexual vibe should always be present because that's the sign of attraction between you two. No sexual vibe means the relationship is technically over.
There are also some other very important aspects of sex.
a) Leading.
Most of the time when you're having sex you should be leading. Move your girl around. Switch positions. Hold her hand down to the bed. There are lots of ways to do this. Don't just lay there and watch her ride you. You don't like it when the girl is just lying there like a branch doing nothing while you do her, do you?
b) Giving and expecting pleasure.
This has never been an issue for me, though I see this as a common problem. For me, pleasuring women is the thing that makes the happiest. Looking at their faces, hearing their screams, and feeling all the energy they let out when they cum is priceless for me. And because I always treated them so well in bed they never had a problem going down on me either. The point is to make the sex as good for both of you as it is possible. As long as this is working, there could hardly be an important issue with the relationship. But this works reverse too. You can not make this work if there are other problems that threathen the relationship. You need to first solve them, if it is not too late.
c) Variety.
Always doing the same thing over and over again will become borig. Switch positions. Switch places(kitchen, bathroom, note: make sure you don't get caught if you do it in public). Get some roleplay done. Do some fantasies. By just putting a little effort in it, it is really easy to keep the sex interesting. You can change anything you want as long as it affects the experience. One time you want to start it slowly and gently with lots of foreplay in the bedroom, lights off. The other time you just grab her in the kitchen, kiss her hard, start undressing her, tear her panties off and destroy her pussy. Always make her wonder when, where, and how you're going to fuck her next. The more she thinks about you fucking her, the better it is.
Summary:
How NOT TO behave:
-Be submissive(exception is roleplay)
-Ask for things(example: Would you go down on me?)
-Be predictable
-Be selfish
How TO behave:
-Be leading, dominant
-DO things(example: Go down on her then put your dick in her face and say "Suck it!")
-Be unpredictable(she should feel you could fuck her anywhere, anytime, anyhow)
-Make sure the sex is awesome for both of you.
3) Providing emotions.
First of all, the strongest way to provide emotions is with sex, but I talk about this because many guys seem to forget that the relationship doesn't only take place in the bedroom and if your daily life is boring, it will get to you in the sex in no time too.
Women need to experience a variety of emotions to stay interested in a relationship. The most important of these are:
a) A feeling of being desired.
Your girl needs to know that you want her. That she drives you crazy. It is NOT needy as long as you remain a leader. This is a very common mistake. The girl starts acting distant and in response the guy goes NC for a week when the girl only needed the guy to express his desire. Of course he's doing the opposite because he doesn't understand his gf and the relationship will end in a trainwreck. I'll probably repeat this line a few times in this and the next section but it's important. PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND. They always signal their needs in one or another way.
How NOT TO provide this feeling:
-Act jealous
-Act needy
-Consistently buy her all kinds of expensive things
What else NOT TO do:
-Ignore her for no reason
-Play with her head in a bad way(making her jealous is the perfect example for this. It just never works and always backfires)
-Making her do favours for you without compensation.
How TO provide this feeling:
-Give her mind blowing orgasms
-Appreciate her personality traits and her body
-Say intimate things in bed
-Take her out occasionally and do exciting things.
-Introduce her to your friends. Later when you've been together for a while, your parents.
-Make, or buy small things that remind her of you, or something you did together occasionally(not 24/7)
-Very rarely(anniversary, birthday) go over the top with being romantic(still don't be needy)
-Be proud of her in public(hold her hands or her hips, peck her on the lips or cheeks, dance with her when you're out clubbing etc...)
-Be a gentleman overall, be Satan's curse in the bedroom.
b) A feeling of having the best possible mate.
Your girl always need to feel that you're the best she could ever find and that no other guy can compare to you. It's a bit tricky to do this.
How NOT TO try achieving this:
-"I'm the best you'll ever have"(This is rude and arrogant)
-Brag about your achievements to her
-Ignore or degrade her achievements
-Make her feel inferior.
What else NOT TO do:
-"You deserve so much better than me"(says the opposite)
-Making her feel like she's generally better than you(sooner or later she will believe it)
How TO try achieving this:
-Bring value to her life(aka have an interesting life yourself which is worthy of being part of)
-Always make her see that you never have enough and you improve yourself in some aspect of your life EVERY DAY
-Get her involved in some of your activities, hobbies.
-Ask for her help if you need it and then thank her.
-Fulfill all other criteria mentioned
c) A feeling of trust and being trusted.
Your woman needs to feel you trust her. It's the #1 reason why women start acting bitchy, when their partner is not trusting them. You also need to behave like you're trustworthy. Sure, you need to be a bit misterious, and nonpredictable but that doesn't mean she can never know where you are or what are you doing. It will get suspicious even if you're not doing anything wrong. She will become very insecure and hurt if you don't realize the problem. Typical behaviour is that she starts critisizing everything new you're doing like "You never ate sushi before. Why did you start it now?" etc...
How NOT TO achieve this:
-Be predictable
-"You know you can trust me baby"(No she doesn't. and this just doesn't help)
-Let her do anything she wants without feedback(sometimes it's not you, it's her)
What else NOT TO do:
-Stay out late always without ever mentioning what you're doing
-Act jealous.
How TO achieve this:
-Let her live her life as long as she's not doing anything suspicious.
-If you come home late make sure you let her know what happened.
-Don't cheat(pretty obvious, I know)
d) A feeling of safety
Your girl wants to feel safe with you. She needs to know that if shit happens you know how to handle it and can protect her.
How NOT TO achieve this:
-Acting needy
-Being predictable(it provides a fake feeling of safety which backfires)
What else NOT TO do:
-Being agressive(with her it's completely unacceptable. if you do it with other people she will wonder if she does anything wrong you will act the same with her)
-Not caring to extreme extents(if your girlfriend is being mocked, it's your duty as a man to stand up for her)
How TO achieve this:
-Always stay strong and calm.
-Don't lose your cool and your frame.
-Be understanding and supporting.
-Always stand up for your girlfriend if she needs you.
-Make sure she trusts you and she feels that you trust her too.
e) A feeling of variety
If you're boring your girl will get bored and will look for other, more exciting opportunities. This could be very dangerous because then every guy becomes a threath since all of them have something you don't: They're not you, thus they provide variety. Sooner or later there will be signals and guys usually misinterpret it, starts acting needy and jealous and only make it worse.
How NOT TO achieve variety:
-Do completely insane things(I mean really completely insane. Once I told a guy he needs to be more unpredictable and he took a shit in front of the front door of his gf. Not cool...)
What else NOT TO do:
-Getting lost in the daily routines.
-Making your relationship look like you're a pensionary couple.
-Being overly predictable.
How TO achieve variety:
-Go out and do active things together as much as possible
-Spice up sex
-Invite friends over
-Stay misterious, always making her wonder what you're gonna do next
f) A feeling of being understood
Your girl needs to feel that you understand and care about her feelings. To her, this means that if anything happens she can count on you. This has more to do with communication so I'll talk about this explicitly in that section.
4) Communication
This is a big one. And many guys fail with properly communicating with their girl. As a result the girl will feel the guy does not understand, or even worse that he doesn't care about her feelings. This is when things start going in a downward spiral. The girl will start to behave strangely, the guy will be clueless, and in return the girl will feel even worse and from this point there's no stopping. Girl goes mad starts acting completely irrational and the guy just crumbles. I have seen this scenario happen on these forum boards at least a few dozens of times. So let's get into this.
The very first pick-up principle is that woman are more emotional than rational yet this fact is somehow completely ignored by many many guys when they're trying to communicate with their girlfriend. Don't get me wrong, rational arguments are completely fine when you're arguing about something like "Which house to buy?" or anything other that really needs rational thinking to make a decision. But when it's about emotional situation you need to use your rational thinking in another way. To be explicit, you need to use it as a woman and rationalize things backwards. It's not so hard as it seems, because men do this backward rationalization too, just not as often as women.
The most important thing is to ALWAYS PAY ATTENTIONT TO YOUR GIRL. She will signal you any problem she has and you have to pick up on these ASAP.
Typical is this:
"What's the problem, honey?"
"Nothing"
And the guy knows there's a problem, yet he's unable to crack the code.
There are several ways to get past this, I'll try to list the most useful ones that I use.
First of all, look for signs. The problem might not be related to you at all. She could have a really bad day and just don't want to talk about it to get herself even more upset. The other case is that the problem is related to you, and in this case there're always very clear signs about it. Start thinking about what you did recently and recall anything that could have even remotely caused her to feel blue. If you have found something, think it over again making sure you're not just trying to get out of the problem with making the first thing that came to your mind the cause of it. If you identified the problem you can proceed to tell her: "Look babe, I can imagine that /this and that/ made you feel bad. It wasn't my intention, I was just overloaded at the moment and didn't pay close attention to you. Let's go out and eat something, because it won't get any better if we just sit here at home in silence". Any good girlfriend will appreciate that you take the responsibility for your actions and that you want to make it up for her.
Second thing is if your search was unsuccessful, or you're not sure enough about the cause you should never ask:
"What's the problem?" "What's wrong?" or anything like that. It turns on the "Nothing" answer immediately whether it's true or not.
"I see you're not feeling good today, and I don't like that. Tell me what made you feel sad, I'll listen and see what I can do about it"
At this point they either tell you the problem or say "You can not do anything about it". If it's the latter it's time to grab your balls...
"Let me decide about that. If you don't tell me then of course I can't do anything, but only if you briefly described it I think I'd be able to cheer you up."
If they still don't crack then time for the secret weapon:
"Too bad. I had a little surprise for you, but you don't seem like you'd want it now so probably some other time"
See this is the point. You're evoking emotions. One of the strongest of them actually: curiousity. She will start wondering what is that surprise. Yeah you probably didn't plan anything, but now you do. Take her out and do something together that will make her feel relieved. Sports are excellent for this. I usually come up with some silly game that will make her so involved that she forgets about being sad. It either solves the problem all in all, or will make her say a big thank you explaining why she felt bad. Yeah of course more complex and deeper problems will not go away this easily, then you have to show support and care.
Now that's about finding out her problems, now how to explain your problems.
The most common are: lack of sex and strange and/or disrespectful behaviour.
By the way these are already warning signs, so she's either too immature for a relationship or you fucked up something big time. I recommend you always assume the second one first, and then if you did your best to make it up and still no change, then it's definitely the first one. In which case, sadly, you will have to find a new girlfriend. Relationships require two people to work, you can't do it all alone. Sometimes it's just better for both of you to take different paths. Well anyway, more on that later. Now let's focus on how to properly present your problems to your girlfriend.
Most common mistakes guy do in these situations:
-Not saying anything, just accepting it and killing them on the inside.
-Getting their ego all up and start acting demandingly ("I have the right to have sex with you." "You don't have the rights to behave like that with me")
-Miscommunicate in a way that the girl will not understand. ("I think we should have more sex" "I don't like the way you acted last time")
So if none of these work then what to do?
Remember what I started with? Women are EMOTIONAL. So when you're communicating your problems you need to put emphasys on emotions. She will understand so much better. Let me illustrate:
"It bothers me that we don't have as much sex anymore"-->This is bad. It doesn't get to the emotional root of the problem. This won't make the girl understand it. It's only natural for her that you don't have so much sex because for some reason she doesn't desire you so much anymore.
"I feel like we became a bit distant.(Seems familiar from girls to anyone? Not a coincidence) You know I love you, and I know you love me. I want to work this out before it's too late"
^At this point she is engaged emotionally so she will start talking about her own emotions. Pay VERY CLOSE attention to what she's saying because between the lines there will be written EXACTLY why she thinks this is happening. It's hard to explain this theoritically. I will use an example about how to read between the lines. This is parts of a facebook conversation between me and my girlfriend. I noticed that she doesn't pay close attention to me many times. She's more involved with her animes and mangas despite that the sex is awesome.
