rocky
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 47
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Post by rocky on Sept 22, 2018 2:53:03 GMT
I get what you guys are saying. I've felt weird ever since I tryd making things exclusive and got declined.
We both got distant and she called me out on it and made a big deal about it saying to let her know if I don't want to talk to her anymore and that she doesn't play games lol
The irony is she acts as if shes my girl but gets defensive when I brush her off. Anyways, she ended up sleeping over Saturday night and we fucked all night and the morning.
She then hits me up the next day to go to Target with her, we do, and fuck some more lol and then comes over my house this Wednesday. Idk guys, this is a weird one here, she was telling me that she's scared how hard she's falling for me.
I Guess the reason I have this oneitis or whatever this is, is because it's hard being a single father and dating and she's kinda ok with that.
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Sept 23, 2018 21:11:34 GMT
You're making this way too damn complicated. There is no need for you to be thinking about this as much as you are. Stop thinking too far ahead. Just enjoy the fuck buddy relationship that you have going on with her, and let it be. You've already experienced first hand how overthinking this or trying to do too much can result in her distancing herself from you. This is only one girl! Unlike most guys with oneitis issues..at least you're getting laid by the girl that you have oneitis for, pretty consistently. You're kinda like someone who's gorging on food, so it's not like you're starving..but yet..you're still really concerned about when you're going to eat your next meal. And that's because although you're gorging on food..you're getting all of your food from only one source. So if that one source for your food one day closes up shop..you will automatically go into panic mode, because you know that it won't be long before you really are starving again.
Again..just enjoy this experience with this girl, and then once the novelty of this fuck buddy relationship that you have going on with her has worn out, and it ends between you and her (because it will end one day)..don't get butt hurt about it or try to chase after her to get her back. While she's constantly giving you the pussy..learn game..so that you won't just have this one girl to rely on as your only option. Even though you're still getting laid, i'm guessing that you don't have any other options, that's why you're kinda hooked on this one girl. If that's the case..you need to be gaming other girls, so that you will have that abundance, and you won't get so attached to this one. That abundance will give you the indifference attitude towards her, that you seem to be lacking at the moment. And it will actually be real indifference, and not some act that you're putting on. It's really hard to be indifferent toward a girl who's giving you alot of pussy, but who is also your only option. This is a 21 year old girl who is a party promoter, she has other options. So that gives her the upper hand over you. You need to do the same (get other options) so that you can level the playing field.
-G
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Post by N2thevoid on Sept 23, 2018 22:06:14 GMT
I get what you guys are saying. I've felt weird ever since I tryd making things exclusive and got declined. We both got distant and she called me out on it and made a big deal about it saying to let her know if I don't want to talk to her anymore and that she doesn't play games lol The irony is she acts as if shes my girl but gets defensive when I brush her off. Anyways, she ended up sleeping over Saturday night and we fucked all night and the morning. She then hits me up the next day to go to Target with her, we do, and fuck some more lol and then comes over my house this Wednesday. Idk guys, this is a weird one here, she was telling me that she's scared how hard she's falling for me. I Guess the reason I have this oneitis or whatever this is, is because it's hard being a single father and dating and she's kinda ok with that. It’s not it’s not weird at all actually. To her this is no big deal she’s very much in the moment and to you that seems unstable because you’re so much in your head. In this respect take the lead from her as the example. |
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Post by R.C on Sept 24, 2018 8:17:41 GMT
Relationships have a way of playing themselves out naturally in the end. You're trying to force things in one direction and that usually doesn't work.
Like I said before, you should downgrade her. Meaning that she should becomes less of a presence in your head. Scan the horizon, and take up some interest in other women.
Putting your eggs in one basket is, generally speaking, a losing move. Especially when the that basket isn't reciprocating.
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rocky
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 47
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Post by rocky on Oct 2, 2018 8:12:14 GMT
Well, you guys were right. Dated for 3months, we got close. Spent almost the whole previous week together. Mon,Tues, Wed, Fri. We fucked Mon through Wednesday but on Friday she tells me she's on her period which I felt was bs because she had period on September 10 idk but I feel like that was bs. We hang out Saturday morning grabbed breakfast and everything was ok.
She Started texting different on Sunday, saying she's going to bed early after she went out which look to me like a date on Snapchat. Then today she sends me a nice ass pic on Snapchat and texts me weird through out the day. Tells me she's going to take a nap at 630pm and never texts me back. FYI I never double text.
But, yeah things don't feel right. And I know you guys were so right. I disregarded your advice after spending this week together. I thought we got close, so I opened up and dedicated a song. Jcole she's mine part1 she seemed to love it.
I did notice that she got jealous, well real jealous because I'm going on a road trip oct13 to go see this band called The Growlers in Santa Cruz. I told her about it a few weeks in advance, but she was real jealous. Jumped on top of me and asked who am I going with. I brushed it off and she kept begging and asking. I told her I was going with a few guy friends and she backed off. But idk, I doubt that has anything to do with it or maybe it does.
Things I learned though, never opened up to a girl first. Let them open up to you first. Which I really have to remember because I get all romantic and caught up in my feelings.
Secondly, never validate women. I feel like it makes you look beta and weak. Which I would always do.
Ahh, sorry to say it but I feel as if I struck out and i was falling for this girl,hard. Really bummed tbh but I guess there's not much I can do.
On a positive note. If joined a gym for about almost a month now and I'm noticing some psychical changes and I play a lot of basketball to keep busy. I've also noticed a lot of girls looking and checking me out. I'm just not good at spitting game. Which is my next step.
Thanks a lot guys.
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Oct 2, 2018 13:29:32 GMT
Even with the girl that i've been seeing since June..i still don't get all lovey dovey and needy with her..especially not through text or over the phone. I do get somewhat lovey dovey with her (we cuddle, makeout, and i tell her how beautiful she is, etc..) only when i'm physically with her in person, that is usually followed up with us fucking each other's brains out. But i still tease her and joke around her as well. I have a similar behavior with her overall, to how i was when me and her first met.
And that's the tip that i'm going to leave you with here. Keep doing what got her attracted to you in the first place. If you deviate from that, don't be surprised if she starts losing attraction for you, starts distancing herself from you, and eventually ghosts on you. For an example..If you was behaving non-needy and indifferent when you and the girl first hooked up..you can't go from that, to now all of a sudden being needy and very caring towards her, because that's not the behavior that attracted her to you in the first place. Do you understand? If you can keep doing what got her to sleep with you in the beginning..that's what will keep her around for a while.
This 21 year old girl that you've been seeing..she seems fun..especially to keep around to hookup and have sex with. But if you're looking for a meaningful or a serious relationship with her, forget about it. You're better off looking elsewhere for that.
-G
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Post by N2thevoid on Oct 2, 2018 16:04:32 GMT
Even with the girl that i've been seeing since June..i still don't get all lovey dovey and needy with her..especially not through text or over the phone. I do get somewhat lovey dovey with her (we cuddle, makeout, and i tell her how beautiful she is, etc..) only when i'm physically with her in person, that is usually followed up with us fucking each other's brains out. But i still tease her and joke around her as well. I have a similar behavior with her overall, to how i was when me and her first met. And that's the tip that i'm going to leave you with here. Keep doing what got her attracted to you in the first place. If you deviate from that, don't be surprised if she starts losing attraction for you, starts distancing herself from you, and eventually ghosts on you. For an example..If you was behaving non-needy and indifferent when you and the girl first hooked up..you can't go from that, to now all of a sudden being needy and very caring towards her, because that's not the behavior that attracted her to you in the first place. Do you understand? If you can keep doing what got her to sleep with you in the beginning..that's what will keep her around for a while. This 21 year old girl that you've been seeing..she seems fun..especially to keep around to hookup and have sex with. But if you're looking for a meaningful or a serious relationship with her, forget about it. You're better off looking elsewhere for that. -G Why can't he be "caring" towards her if there's mutual investment? I'm curious to know your reasoning. |
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Oct 3, 2018 2:05:49 GMT
Why can't he be "caring" towards her if there's mutual investment? I'm curious to know your reasoning. I'm not saying that he can't care for her. If there is a mutual investment, then i guess it's fine. I'm just saying "for an example" that if he attracted the girl initially by not being too caring or not showing much affection to her (indifferent, in-attentive, and aloof behavior), then he will probably have to keep doing that to keep that girl attracted. That doesn't mean that is his current situation. I'm speaking mostly in general. Again..i was just giving an example. Likewise..if he attracted the girl by being very caring (very attentive, affectionate, and compassionate behavior), then he will have to keep doing that to keep her interested. You can disagree with me if you like, that's cool, i don't really care. Everyone has their own opinion that they will stick to. I just put out there the things that i've learned and discovered from my own experiences and perspective. You don't have to agree with it. -G |
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Post by R.C on Oct 3, 2018 8:01:00 GMT
And that's the tip that i'm going to leave you with here. Keep doing what got her attracted to you in the first place. If you deviate from that, don't be surprised if she starts losing attraction for you, starts distancing herself from you, and eventually ghosts on you. For an example..If you was behaving non-needy and indifferent when you and the girl first hooked up..you can't go from that, to now all of a sudden being needy and very caring towards her, because that's not the behavior that attracted her to you in the first place. Do you understand? If you can keep doing what got her to sleep with you in the beginning..that's what will keep her around for a while. This is sensitive advice to give. There's a famous saying that goes "Men want a good girl that will be bad just for them. Women want a bad boy that will be good just for them". There's a lot of truth to that. Being caring and "lovey dovey" is not a problem as long as you're doing it as a natural consequence of your evolving relationship. In this case the OP was doing it in hopes of reciprocation. That's the problem. The reasoning behind the actions, not the actions themselves. Also, OP, here's some advice you should always carry around when it comes to women. Words are nice to hear, but actions are what you should be taking into account. She says she's scared of how hard she's falling for you. But is she acting like it? |
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Post by N2thevoid on Oct 13, 2018 17:33:58 GMT
And that's the tip that i'm going to leave you with here. Keep doing what got her attracted to you in the first place. If you deviate from that, don't be surprised if she starts losing attraction for you, starts distancing herself from you, and eventually ghosts on you. For an example..If you was behaving non-needy and indifferent when you and the girl first hooked up..you can't go from that, to now all of a sudden being needy and very caring towards her, because that's not the behavior that attracted her to you in the first place. Do you understand? If you can keep doing what got her to sleep with you in the beginning..that's what will keep her around for a while. This is sensitive advice to give. There's a famous saying that goes "Men want a good girl that will be bad just for them. Women want a bad boy that will be good just for them". There's a lot of truth to that. Being caring and "lovey dovey" is not a problem as long as you're doing it as a natural consequence of your evolving relationship. In this case the OP was doing it in hopes of reciprocation. That's the problem. The reasoning behind the actions, not the actions themselves. Also, OP, here's some advice you should always carry around when it comes to women. Words are nice to hear, but actions are what you should be taking into account. She says she's scared of how hard she's falling for you. But is she acting like it? Why I always tell people to check their intentions first. If their behavior is coming out of a scarce place that will have a repelling force. If its coming out of an abundant place then the behavior isn't an issue. |
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rocky
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 47
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Post by rocky on Jan 22, 2019 23:57:40 GMT
So, funny story.we ended up together and we have 3 months together going on 4 lol
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Post by JackZero on Jan 23, 2019 1:34:14 GMT
So, funny story.we ended up together and we have 3 months together going on 4 lol Vague story. How did you get from where you were when you left off to being together for nearly 4 months? |
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rocky
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 47
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Post by rocky on Jan 23, 2019 9:50:41 GMT
I don't know where to begin really. It's kind of weird how we got together tbh. She ended up coming over my house a few days later after my last post and we had a huge argument (those are common now) and she ended up asking me out! Lol
It was amazing at first, the honey moon stage if you will. We were having lots of sex at the first month and I ended up catching her talking to some other guy. That guy, ended up being her ex fuck buddy and he was in town for Thanksgiving and I had caught her with dinner arrangements.
She tryd playing off a text message from my sister so I grabbed her phone backed out and read her messages. Tbh that devastated me, just knowing the fact that she laid in bed with me and had dinner plans with an ex fuck buddy and was casual about it. So we almost broke up the fist month.I fell in love with her so after a lot tears from her end and ass kissing I stayed to work things out.
But tbh it's been hard since then. I have hella trust issues, jealous (working on it). We're going on four months and we've been fighting and arguing a lot lately. We literally argued for like a week straight and it's been tough guys. It really has. Like I feel as if she's always right, she can't be wrong and can do anything but if I do something similar she'll have a bitch fit. It's been like that and other things. I feel as if she's trying to keep me on check and do whatever. Idk it's sad because we were all love you dovey and now we argue a lot and don't have sex as we used too.
I'm going on over a week without sex or head and this chick is supposed to be my girlfriend smh. Shit sucks and now she's said a remark that made me feel like I'm forcing her at times to have sex when she doesn't want to. Like okay? Am I only suppose to wait until you feel?
Idk guys im not sure if I'm going about this relationship things right. Idk if they're all like this or am I doing something wrong? Bitches are crazy! Sorry, I've just been stressed lately.
Thanks
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Post by N2thevoid on Jan 24, 2019 19:33:22 GMT
"She's always right" translates to "I could never be good enough for her". The distrust runs deep given what you'd discovered and there hasn't been any repair work. This stokes your jealousy because you're never quite sure if she's fully in the relationship. So when she's on this 'always right' stance (as you see it), you go on the defensive so as not to lose yourself. You've got a pretty unhealthy cycle going on. You can seek out an EFT therapist (or see me) but it'd entail both you and her motivated to get help. If left as is the relationship will dissolve.
The sex stopped because she too feels unsafe, and can't feel vulnerable in the relationship. This will dry up most pussies unless the girl is a withdrawer and separate the physicality of sex from the emotional connection.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jan 28, 2019 21:12:27 GMT
I would normally say you should kick your own balls, but you'd have to get them out of her purse.
Women will only treat you how you'll let them.
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