lolpants
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 32
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Post by lolpants on Mar 4, 2018 18:20:53 GMT
Situation=> I had a flirt with a Beautiful diplomat for 2 months. A month ago she moved to a new country ( south america) for a new mission. We have no more contact obviously.
But !
She has an even beautiful diplomat friend that is staying for another 2 years in Belgium.
I briefly talked to her before, she is fun and kind.
We connected on facebook and last week I realized that I wanted to get to know her better so I decide to reach out.
Me:Hey ! How do you like Belgiums freezing cold 🙂
Her:Hey!
It has been chalenging! hehe! But I don't mind the cold, if the sky is blue!
Her:How have you been?
Me:I'm good. How about you ? It's been a while:)
Her:I’m good! Just got home from Franz Ferdinand’s concert! It was awesomeness
*awesome
How about you? What have you been doing?
Me:Oh thats right, you like good music;).
No upcoming black metal concert coming up we can go to? 😁
I've been getting myself ready for my upcoming adventure in my job.
Her:Hehe! No!
Just indie rock bands nowadays
Where are you going with your job?
Me:I'm heading to a *jobstuff*.
So next week will be my last week in brussels
We should get a drink together next week and catch up.
Her:Sure!
Anytime!
Me:Cool!
I'll get back to you on this.
Btw, are you working late as ever 🙂?
Her:Until 20h
No later than that!
Thats the conversation we had last week. ( if you have any advice on how to do even better with social media conversation, please by free to help me out)
So I'll be shooting a text tonight to have that drink next week. If she responds positive how should I go from there.
Being friendly or all flirty/making my intentions clear ?
I have never been in a situation like this and that is why I'm reaching out for help here.
Give me your thoughts and advice.
( I'll update how things go )
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Post by JackZero on Mar 4, 2018 18:46:26 GMT
Here's the problem that I have with this...you're playing it safe and avoiding showing your real intentions even though you are making a date. In her case, you guys have been acquaintances and things have been friendly so she may be thinking that this is a friendly meet up. The last thing that you want is her thinking is friendly meet up and you plan on it being a date because it is not consistent with what you presented her. It's the equivalent of jumping into a hot tub filled with freezing water...it's the kind of shock that she wouldn't want.
In this case, you have two options:
1. Flirt with her before the date to change her expectations from you. The problem with this is that she may pull out because that's not what she wants from you but at least you won't waste your time with her.
2. Go out with her and just be flirty and charming but don't escalate to anything more than that without her giving you clear signals that she wants you to take things up a notch. This will allow you to build tension and get her into the mindset of wanting more from you. It's playing the game a little slower but it's better for managing her expectations.
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Post by complexity on Mar 4, 2018 18:51:55 GMT
Hey there,
I am not in a position where I can give you PUA advice, so what I am going to tell you one of the mistakes that I've been doing for too long: DO NOT push on it. Try to make her bring up the drinking subject. Or if you really want to be the one asking her out, then just say it once, in a very short sentence, and DO NOT remind her of it. Show her that you trust her memory, and don't look like the boy who cannot wait for the "date". Be chil, make her laugh, get into big subjects that you can discuss when meeting her. Also, check out her social media, so that when you meet her you can hit every subject that she's into. Good luck with her man!
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lolpants
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 32
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Post by lolpants on Mar 4, 2018 21:24:57 GMT
Thanks for the input.
I just texted her when and where I want to get a drink and catch up. Maybe she'll reply maybe she won't.
@jack: I'll go for the second one. Starting to flirt with her on messenger would just come off as weird for both of us.
( Btw, maybe worth mentioning but she's 35 years young )
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Post by R.C on Mar 5, 2018 8:25:18 GMT
Here's the problem that I have with this...you're playing it safe and avoiding showing your real intentions even though you are making a date. In her case, you guys have been acquaintances and things have been friendly so she may be thinking that this is a friendly meet up. The last thing that you want is her thinking is friendly meet up and you plan on it being a date because it is not consistent with what you presented her. It's the equivalent of jumping into a hot tub filled with freezing water...it's the kind of shock that she wouldn't want. In this case, you have two options: 1. Flirt with her before the date to change her expectations from you. The problem with this is that she may pull out because that's not what she wants from you but at least you won't waste your time with her. 2. Go out with her and just be flirty and charming but don't escalate to anything more than that without her giving you clear signals that she wants you to take things up a notch. This will allow you to build tension and get her into the mindset of wanting more from you. It's playing the game a little slower but it's better for managing her expectations. Pretty much this, with the mention that 2 is a little harder to pull off if you're new to this. Guys on dates usually fall under two categories, which are either not escalating enough, or going overboard with it. And here you need to be in both camps at the same time. But generally speaking though, as Jack said, you never really want a woman to go on a date with you without her either clearly knowing it's a date, or really wanting it to be one. |
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Post by complexity on Mar 5, 2018 8:48:02 GMT
"But generally speaking though, as Jack said, you never really want a woman to go on a date with you without her either clearly knowing it's a date, or really wanting it to be one. "
Straight on point. Such useful info. Noted that, thanks for highlighting that, RC! This is what I was missing, and now I realize it! "I'm so ready now", muahahaha
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lolpants
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 32
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Post by lolpants on Mar 5, 2018 15:54:38 GMT
She declined my invitation.
Her excuse ='visitors at home and realy busy week at work'
No need to further pursue this.
Thanks for the input Jack, complexity & R.C
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Post by complexity on Mar 5, 2018 15:55:58 GMT
That just sucks, but hey, at least you know one thing for sure. You didn't give her the chance to play around with you
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Post by R.C on Mar 5, 2018 19:45:22 GMT
She declined my invitation. Her excuse ='visitors at home and realy busy week at work' No need to further pursue this. Thanks for the input Jack, complexity & R.C Good. You've successfully not wasted time. Well done. |
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