Post by svabos on Oct 23, 2018 5:51:50 GMT
I'm very self destructive guy and I'm very aware of it. Also I'm very prone to finding most basic easiest solutions because I'm that unwilling at making a change which I know I have to make. So I'll share my finds because everything I'll say here I've practiced I know it really work
1. Sleep
This is basic of all, but people do it wrong or sacrifice it the most. In reality getting enough sleep is THE most important thing you should always take care of. It is 99% of your problems if you are lacking it. Why? Because if you are tired, your body will sabotage you in every way just to get some rest. One of those sabotage is making you want to have orgasms because orgasm relaxes you and gives you relief. This usually makes you fap which causes you to loose your desire to chase women because you can pleasure yourself. So lack of sleep is highly connected with your lack of desire to approach women. Also lack of sleep is main reason of feeling depressed but you are not depressed, you just aren't giving your body the rest it needs so it signals you back that there's the problem by being unwilling. You just have to nourish your body with good sleep, it's the most basic self love you can give to your body.
How to sleep?
Here's the catch: number of hours isn't so important as when to go to sleep. An here also your body tells you when you should go to sleep. I used to think that 8h of sleep is enough and would go to sleep at 23h and wake at 7am, usually having problems falling asleep because my wind would work like crazy. Problem is that really often I wouldn't feel sleepy at 23h and would do it only because I knew I had to. Result was me feeling not relaxed as I would like even after 8h of sleep. But I've realized that I get really sleepy at around 20:30-21h, the period in which i would fight myself not wanting to go sleep because there was a movie or I had some work that I would find important.
But then one day I've decided to go to sleep then when i felt really sleepy, it was there around 20-21h. I would sleep around 8-9h and would wake by myself at 5am feeling really relaxed but like someone had chewed me and spit out. After few days of that kind of sleeping i started to fell really energized, the feeling of being chewed has passed. I started to feel to much more alive, like someone has gave me some kind of happy pill.
So you should go to sleep when your body tells you to do so, not when you think you should go! Listen to your body! Your body knows what is best for it. Also I've realized that all those thoughts which would keep me awake at 23h when I thought it was the time to go to sleep was the natural process of mind defragmentation which should happen when you are asleep! It's something that you shouldn't be aware of because in that time you should be sleeping and if you really start to go to sleep and dream at that time, all those ideas will sit in your mind and you will become more creative during the day (maybe it's oversimplification, but there is a lot of truth there)
2. Fapping and porn
If there's one thing I would directly connect with low self esteem, it is most definitely fapping and how porn shapes your mind. Fapping causes you to get "reward" in a shape of an orgasm without any effort and is highly addictive so basically you train your body not to require women for getting that feeling. But there's more: when you achieve orgasm your body starts to produce all kind of hormones which passivizes you and stops to produce pheromones so you become chemically unattractive to women, so you have to try harder but with great penalization that in the end can result with girl saying "you checked all of the requirements but there's something missing, that feeling...". Well that "feeling" are pheromones! You don't chemically radiate the message "I'll f*ck you brains out!". Also after your body achieves orgasm you become more vulnerable and emotionally which manifests as needy. When your balls are full you aren't needy, you are horny, you are hunter and that is what girls feel and makes them horny. There are also physical changes to your body when you fap, like you voice becomes thin and squeaky, it lacks that "roar" effect which girl feel when you talk to her
Porn is another vice which changes your mind for worse. It trains your brain how to perceive what is hot and what isn't and worst of all it trains your brain to become impatient so you start to perceive everything except for example penetration as meaningful and sexual. So you become uninterested for flirtation, foreplay, and everything that isn't strictly related with that what makes you horny just because you trained your brain to jump that exact point of sexual stimulation in a instant by just by clicking it in the video you are watching. Really really self destructive tool.
Benefits of nofap
The main direction in nofap community is that you should abstain from fapping at least for 90 days to reset your fap and porn addiction, but that you should abstain from fapping forever. I completely agree with that. But I will add the phases: after around 20-30 days of nofap you'll start to experience really beneficial changes in your body like raise of energy and will to interact with people. Also your voice will become a bit deeper, like your throat has relaxed, so you won't have that feeling of obstacle in your throat, you'll be able to say your thoughts more easily. Just imagine how much it helps your game, to be able to speak without choking. Also funny thing happens in that period: you start to radiate in a way that girls will feel attracted to you. You'll notice that speaking with girls will become strangely easy, like you suddenly have become so much more interesting to them, like they are interested in what you have to say. One word: pheromones. You'll start to "smell" like male ready to mate and girls respond to that really really well.
But it isn't over yet! You'll start to loose scarcity mentality because you'll realize that you can do really good even without an orgasm in life which will in return make you feel that women (and orgasms they provide) is nothing special because you can do without it - a foundation for abundance mentality.
3. Skills and interests
Do want a perfect solution for stop being uninteresting guy? Go to dance class. Girls really dig dancers, not because of their skill but because it's the ultimate tool to show that you aren't scared to put your self out there. You don't have to be a good dancer, you just have to be able to do it, to send the message "look, I'm not scared to show my skills in front of the crowd.
Even the most un-rhythmic people will learn basic dance moves in a month. It also boosts your self esteem to the sky and you get easy practice of interacting with women in an environment where is not only acceptable but desirable to touch and speak. I find it way better practice than street game, like superb detour to the same goal.
There is more i'll add later
1. Sleep
This is basic of all, but people do it wrong or sacrifice it the most. In reality getting enough sleep is THE most important thing you should always take care of. It is 99% of your problems if you are lacking it. Why? Because if you are tired, your body will sabotage you in every way just to get some rest. One of those sabotage is making you want to have orgasms because orgasm relaxes you and gives you relief. This usually makes you fap which causes you to loose your desire to chase women because you can pleasure yourself. So lack of sleep is highly connected with your lack of desire to approach women. Also lack of sleep is main reason of feeling depressed but you are not depressed, you just aren't giving your body the rest it needs so it signals you back that there's the problem by being unwilling. You just have to nourish your body with good sleep, it's the most basic self love you can give to your body.
How to sleep?
Here's the catch: number of hours isn't so important as when to go to sleep. An here also your body tells you when you should go to sleep. I used to think that 8h of sleep is enough and would go to sleep at 23h and wake at 7am, usually having problems falling asleep because my wind would work like crazy. Problem is that really often I wouldn't feel sleepy at 23h and would do it only because I knew I had to. Result was me feeling not relaxed as I would like even after 8h of sleep. But I've realized that I get really sleepy at around 20:30-21h, the period in which i would fight myself not wanting to go sleep because there was a movie or I had some work that I would find important.
But then one day I've decided to go to sleep then when i felt really sleepy, it was there around 20-21h. I would sleep around 8-9h and would wake by myself at 5am feeling really relaxed but like someone had chewed me and spit out. After few days of that kind of sleeping i started to fell really energized, the feeling of being chewed has passed. I started to feel to much more alive, like someone has gave me some kind of happy pill.
So you should go to sleep when your body tells you to do so, not when you think you should go! Listen to your body! Your body knows what is best for it. Also I've realized that all those thoughts which would keep me awake at 23h when I thought it was the time to go to sleep was the natural process of mind defragmentation which should happen when you are asleep! It's something that you shouldn't be aware of because in that time you should be sleeping and if you really start to go to sleep and dream at that time, all those ideas will sit in your mind and you will become more creative during the day (maybe it's oversimplification, but there is a lot of truth there)
2. Fapping and porn
If there's one thing I would directly connect with low self esteem, it is most definitely fapping and how porn shapes your mind. Fapping causes you to get "reward" in a shape of an orgasm without any effort and is highly addictive so basically you train your body not to require women for getting that feeling. But there's more: when you achieve orgasm your body starts to produce all kind of hormones which passivizes you and stops to produce pheromones so you become chemically unattractive to women, so you have to try harder but with great penalization that in the end can result with girl saying "you checked all of the requirements but there's something missing, that feeling...". Well that "feeling" are pheromones! You don't chemically radiate the message "I'll f*ck you brains out!". Also after your body achieves orgasm you become more vulnerable and emotionally which manifests as needy. When your balls are full you aren't needy, you are horny, you are hunter and that is what girls feel and makes them horny. There are also physical changes to your body when you fap, like you voice becomes thin and squeaky, it lacks that "roar" effect which girl feel when you talk to her
Porn is another vice which changes your mind for worse. It trains your brain how to perceive what is hot and what isn't and worst of all it trains your brain to become impatient so you start to perceive everything except for example penetration as meaningful and sexual. So you become uninterested for flirtation, foreplay, and everything that isn't strictly related with that what makes you horny just because you trained your brain to jump that exact point of sexual stimulation in a instant by just by clicking it in the video you are watching. Really really self destructive tool.
Benefits of nofap
The main direction in nofap community is that you should abstain from fapping at least for 90 days to reset your fap and porn addiction, but that you should abstain from fapping forever. I completely agree with that. But I will add the phases: after around 20-30 days of nofap you'll start to experience really beneficial changes in your body like raise of energy and will to interact with people. Also your voice will become a bit deeper, like your throat has relaxed, so you won't have that feeling of obstacle in your throat, you'll be able to say your thoughts more easily. Just imagine how much it helps your game, to be able to speak without choking. Also funny thing happens in that period: you start to radiate in a way that girls will feel attracted to you. You'll notice that speaking with girls will become strangely easy, like you suddenly have become so much more interesting to them, like they are interested in what you have to say. One word: pheromones. You'll start to "smell" like male ready to mate and girls respond to that really really well.
But it isn't over yet! You'll start to loose scarcity mentality because you'll realize that you can do really good even without an orgasm in life which will in return make you feel that women (and orgasms they provide) is nothing special because you can do without it - a foundation for abundance mentality.
3. Skills and interests
Do want a perfect solution for stop being uninteresting guy? Go to dance class. Girls really dig dancers, not because of their skill but because it's the ultimate tool to show that you aren't scared to put your self out there. You don't have to be a good dancer, you just have to be able to do it, to send the message "look, I'm not scared to show my skills in front of the crowd.
Even the most un-rhythmic people will learn basic dance moves in a month. It also boosts your self esteem to the sky and you get easy practice of interacting with women in an environment where is not only acceptable but desirable to touch and speak. I find it way better practice than street game, like superb detour to the same goal.
There is more i'll add later
