She has a boyfriend (and I've a girlfriend too)

[tiger]

That's a problem everybody will face one day. Maybe already happened, maybe not yet. But how can you deal with this? How can you make her feel NOT guilty about having sex with you?

In my case, it happened last week. 

A little background sure would be useful. I know this girl since 2015 (university):
- 1st year: we flirt, I ask her out, she accepts, next day she tells me maybe it isn't a good idea.
- 2nd year: she studies abroad, no contacts.
- 3rd year: this time I'm the one studying abroad, since she's studied in the same country (not the same city though) I emailed her asking 2-3 random things, then we stopped writing.
- 4th year: we stare at each other, we say "hi how are you", smalltalk, we go out, we made out, undress on the bed, foreplay (she didn't want oral, only fingers) but when we're about to have sex she says "wait sorry... I'm already in love with someone...", I say "it's okay, don't need to be sorry", so we continue with kisses and fingers. She didn't do anything to me. [Afterwards she texted me that she has a complicated relationship with sex and that her body really wanted it, but her mind didn't]. After a week we met again and made out again, passionate but something colder. In bed she stops and tells me "I've to tell you two things... First I've a boyfriend abroad and next week I'll go visit him... Second I'm not sure about this [between us]". I told her that's okay, that I've a girlfriend, but things aren't going too well [sadly true]. We continue making out, but after a while she said it's better if I go and if I'm okay with this. I went away.

Well, this is it. We texted briefly afterwards. My last message was something like "I didn't want to insist too much. I think it's important that it has to be mutual." (long story short). She never replied.

What do you think? My opinion is that since she's going to see her bf soon, she felt somewhat guilty and didn't want to do more. I've a feeling that she bought condoms that day (I've seen a drug store plastic bag in her purse even though she told me she went to the grocery store... we met before she went home).

Now I stop overanalysing things, haha.

I kindly ask for your opinion: do you think this girl is lost? Still recoverable? What should I tell her to make her comfortable (if she wants to see me again)? 

P.S. I don't want a relationship with her. But for me she's a 10, so I'd rather not lose her.

Thank you!

[GFRESH2DEF]

Ima make this short and sweet. I don't think that this is recoverable. I guess that there is a possibility that it is recoverable..sure. Like it is a possibility that it can snow in June..but it's very likely that it won't. You missed the escalation window my dude. And your chances of getting that same opportunity again with this girl, after you already missed it..is slim to none. I mean..it only took you 4 years just for you to get in that position with her. Do you have another 4 years to waste chasing after her, just to get her in your bed again LOl?




You might be right about the condom thing. Contrary to what most guys believe (that women are innocent, and they don't think alot about sex, nor do they plan in anticipation to have sex with someone)..she probably did lie to you, and bought some condoms at the drug store that day (in anticipation of having sex with you later on), even though she told you that she went to the grocery store (or she did actually go to the grocery store, and picked up some prescription drugs there too. Most grocery stores these days, have a pharmacy in them as well). But it sounds about right to me, since women don't want the responsibility of escalating to sex. But it doesn't mean that they won't set up the pins, for you to knock them down. It was no mistake (especially on her part), that she ended up in your bed on that day (boyfriend or no boyfriend..it doesn't matter). Someday when you take a girl home (wait until after you already fucked her to ask her this question lol)..ask her this.."When did you know that you wanted to have sex with me?". You may be surprised to find out that, she wanted to fuck you way earlier in the interaction, than what you had originally thought. And come to find out..you was only able to successfully take her home and bang her, simply because you didn't fuck it up. She had already made up her mind to fuck you, long before you even knew that you had her in the bag. And girls will tell you this, if you ask them about it.




-G 

[N2thevoid]

So rather than end it with your current girlfriend, you'd sooner hold onto it for your own selfish reasons until you can find someone else that'll take you.

Are you that weak?

How would you feel if your current girlfriend was doing the same with you and talking about it with her girls "is there a chance with this other guy?"?


Not interested in helping someone cheat, that's where I draw a line.