Post by chef89 on Nov 10, 2019 19:45:03 GMT
Hi guys,
Another thread from me after I posted here lately about a girl who basiscally ghosted me after exchanging a few messages after a first date. Well heres the story... It happened again.
So I met this girl via an online dating app yesterday evening. She was good looking and succesful in other areas in life. At the date, I don't overthink that much and just make sure that I connect with her, tease her a bit, qualify, and in general create some emotion instead of dull conversation. So that all went okay. Because it was so busy in town there was only 1 free spot left, a table where we had to sit opposite of each other. Later that evening I asserted myself and sat next to her, and did some light kino. I noticed that after this, the accidentaly touched me with her elbow as well. I also asked her some questions about her personality to deepen the conversation, and I could see her light up. She talked and talked. All good signs I would say. While other people left the bar, we still sat there, and there was no indication she was eager to leave.
After that we walked back and I kissed her. We biked back as we both live in the same direction and when she took the road to her house we stopped and kissed again, and I wished her a good night. I want to stress that I feel completely care free during a date.
So this morning I woke up, and I remembered the last date (of the other topic), where I justed waited for her to contact me after the date. She did, but in the end it bled dry after a few short messages. So this time I thought I will contact her first. I texted that I had fun last night, and that it was clever from her to chum up with future colleagues (as she told me she accepted a job at my organisation, which is huge btw), and that maybe I could be sensitive to her pleasing style (some callback to the date meant as a teasing remark, she told me she sometimes used a more pleasing style to get shit done at work). It would be very easy for her to respond in a light hearted way. Maybe this text was a bit over the top? But again my mind says even if she liked me a bit yesterday, she could have changed the topic or at least say something. But yeah, I texted that around 9 hours ago, she read it, and no response whatsoever.
Basically, I feel like a complete useless piece of shit right now. I can genuinly say that I get a lot of attention on these dating apps, and I can really make sure to go on dates with alot of hot women. If I want, I can go with another 3 hot women this week. That is not my problem. My real problem is that women aren't as enthusiastic about contacting me as before the date, and that I just get ghosted. If this happened one time, I can live with that. But if it happens many times like now, it makes me feel sad. Like on the date I get the impression that its going well, and then next day, boom gone. Thats what I miss in life - a romantic fucking connection. Each time I connect a little, it gets shoved into the garbage bin and I can go on a first date again. I can already guess that some people her will say 'that happens on dating apps', but I don't believe it. I have many friends who found their girls on dating apps, and they arent even concious about themselves or what they are doing on a date.
Basically, I hope you guys can help me with a few things:
1. What do I do wrong?
2. What to text after a first date?
3. Do you wait until a girl contacts you, or do you take initiative after a first date?
Thanks in advance, I really hope somebody can put a finger on this because I'm clueless.
I'm thinking about not going on these 'drinks' first dates again, but to do something completely different. But also no clue here what.
Another thread from me after I posted here lately about a girl who basiscally ghosted me after exchanging a few messages after a first date. Well heres the story... It happened again.
So I met this girl via an online dating app yesterday evening. She was good looking and succesful in other areas in life. At the date, I don't overthink that much and just make sure that I connect with her, tease her a bit, qualify, and in general create some emotion instead of dull conversation. So that all went okay. Because it was so busy in town there was only 1 free spot left, a table where we had to sit opposite of each other. Later that evening I asserted myself and sat next to her, and did some light kino. I noticed that after this, the accidentaly touched me with her elbow as well. I also asked her some questions about her personality to deepen the conversation, and I could see her light up. She talked and talked. All good signs I would say. While other people left the bar, we still sat there, and there was no indication she was eager to leave.
After that we walked back and I kissed her. We biked back as we both live in the same direction and when she took the road to her house we stopped and kissed again, and I wished her a good night. I want to stress that I feel completely care free during a date.
So this morning I woke up, and I remembered the last date (of the other topic), where I justed waited for her to contact me after the date. She did, but in the end it bled dry after a few short messages. So this time I thought I will contact her first. I texted that I had fun last night, and that it was clever from her to chum up with future colleagues (as she told me she accepted a job at my organisation, which is huge btw), and that maybe I could be sensitive to her pleasing style (some callback to the date meant as a teasing remark, she told me she sometimes used a more pleasing style to get shit done at work). It would be very easy for her to respond in a light hearted way. Maybe this text was a bit over the top? But again my mind says even if she liked me a bit yesterday, she could have changed the topic or at least say something. But yeah, I texted that around 9 hours ago, she read it, and no response whatsoever.
Basically, I feel like a complete useless piece of shit right now. I can genuinly say that I get a lot of attention on these dating apps, and I can really make sure to go on dates with alot of hot women. If I want, I can go with another 3 hot women this week. That is not my problem. My real problem is that women aren't as enthusiastic about contacting me as before the date, and that I just get ghosted. If this happened one time, I can live with that. But if it happens many times like now, it makes me feel sad. Like on the date I get the impression that its going well, and then next day, boom gone. Thats what I miss in life - a romantic fucking connection. Each time I connect a little, it gets shoved into the garbage bin and I can go on a first date again. I can already guess that some people her will say 'that happens on dating apps', but I don't believe it. I have many friends who found their girls on dating apps, and they arent even concious about themselves or what they are doing on a date.
Basically, I hope you guys can help me with a few things:
1. What do I do wrong?
2. What to text after a first date?
3. Do you wait until a girl contacts you, or do you take initiative after a first date?
Thanks in advance, I really hope somebody can put a finger on this because I'm clueless.
I'm thinking about not going on these 'drinks' first dates again, but to do something completely different. But also no clue here what.