Hi guys,
Another thread from me after I posted here lately about a girl who basiscally ghosted me after exchanging a few messages after a first date. Well heres the story... It happened again.
So I met this girl via an online dating app yesterday evening. She was good looking and succesful in other areas in life. At the date, I don't overthink that much and just make sure that I connect with her, tease her a bit, qualify, and in general create some emotion instead of dull conversation. So that all went okay. Because it was so busy in town there was only 1 free spot left, a table where we had to sit opposite of each other. Later that evening I asserted myself and sat next to her, and did some light kino. I noticed that after this, the accidentaly touched me with her elbow as well. I also asked her some questions about her personality to deepen the conversation, and I could see her light up. She talked and talked. All good signs I would say. While other people left the bar, we still sat there, and there was no indication she was eager to leave.
After that we walked back and I kissed her. We biked back as we both live in the same direction and when she took the road to her house we stopped and kissed again, and I wished her a good night. I want to stress that I feel completely care free during a date.
So this morning I woke up, and I remembered the last date (of the other topic), where I justed waited for her to contact me after the date. She did, but in the end it bled dry after a few short messages. So this time I thought I will contact her first. I texted that I had fun last night, and that it was clever from her to chum up with future colleagues (as she told me she accepted a job at my organisation, which is huge btw), and that maybe I could be sensitive to her pleasing style (some callback to the date meant as a teasing remark, she told me she sometimes used a more pleasing style to get shit done at work). It would be very easy for her to respond in a light hearted way. Maybe this text was a bit over the top? But again my mind says even if she liked me a bit yesterday, she could have changed the topic or at least say something. But yeah, I texted that around 9 hours ago, she read it, and no response whatsoever.
Basically, I feel like a complete useless piece of shit right now. I can genuinly say that I get a lot of attention on these dating apps, and I can really make sure to go on dates with alot of hot women. If I want, I can go with another 3 hot women this week. That is not my problem. My real problem is that women aren't as enthusiastic about contacting me as before the date, and that I just get ghosted. If this happened one time, I can live with that. But if it happens many times like now, it makes me feel sad. Like on the date I get the impression that its going well, and then next day, boom gone. Thats what I miss in life - a romantic fucking connection. Each time I connect a little, it gets shoved into the garbage bin and I can go on a first date again. I can already guess that some people her will say 'that happens on dating apps', but I don't believe it. I have many friends who found their girls on dating apps, and they arent even concious about themselves or what they are doing on a date.
Basically, I hope you guys can help me with a few things:
1. What do I do wrong?
2. What to text after a first date?
3. Do you wait until a girl contacts you, or do you take initiative after a first date?
Thanks in advance, I really hope somebody can put a finger on this because I'm clueless.
I'm thinking about not going on these 'drinks' first dates again, but to do something completely different. But also no clue here what.