The 4 Main Reasons, That Stops Guys From Approaching Women

[GFRESH2DEF]

The important thing is always, that you took action that day (that you approached girls that day). Which if you keep taking action like that..it will eventually lead to the results that you wanted with women, all along anyway. But you have to understand that, it will take time. You have to think about it as..each girl that you approach and interact with..is another brick that you've added to your castle (or fortress) that you're building up. Understand that it is a process..and you're going to do it, one brick at a time. One brick isn't going to build your castle, 20 bricks isn't even going to build your castle. But rather hundreds and thousands of bricks, will be enough to build that castle for you. So in the meantime..don't take it so seriously, because you're already taking action. Take it seriously by taking the action. But once you have taken the action, you can now relax and just enjoy the ride!  Just do it, and have fun with it while you're doing it. Yes you're approaching random girls, that can be very stressful sometimes. Because..#1. you may not be in the mood to approach..#2. the girls may seem or look mean..#3. you're nervous because you have approach anxiety..and #4. you're afraid to get rejected in front of people, because to get blown out or rejected by a girl, in front of people, would be very embarrassing. Those are pretty much the 4 main reasons that stops guys from approaching girls. So if that's the case..just take some pressure off of yourself, for it having to go so well. And do it in a way, that will make it fun for you, and not stressful for you..even if the approach doesn't go so well, or up to your standards.




Yes you want the results, but taking the action is far more important. And taking action, is the results!




For #1..if you're not in the mood to approach, just start with saying "Hi" (which takes very little effort on your part) and leave it at that. Then work your way up to "Hi, how are you doing?". Then work your way up to a compliment. Then work your way up to a compliment, plus saying "What are you up to?"..etc. And then..you may eventually find yourself talking to a girl, that you've reached the hook point with. You see what's happening? You're slowly getting yourself into a talkative and social/positive mood. And you're also slowly getting into longer and longer conversations..starting with very very short ones at the start. For #2..if the girls seem mean..just approach them with the thought in your mind, that she's probably going to be mean to you. It's fine if you think that..i've certainly had that thought about alot of girls, before i approached them lol. And if she is mean to you, just cut it off, and say "Have a nice day", and you eject. And that's fine too. And you can do that until you meet a girl that doesn't look or seem mean. And you can just extend the conversation with her, and have the pleasant interaction with her that you was looking for all along. Because the whole idea is, you want to be having a pleasant interaction. You don't want to be having an unpleasant interaction with someone. Why??..Because you're a high value man, that doesn't waste his time and energy, talking to unpleasant people (especially to unpleasant women). And that's the way that you have to look at it. Approach the girl anyway, even if she looks mean (because you want to train your frame, to not be afraid of people..especially girls. Why??..because a high value man isn't afraid to talk to people..especially to talk to women). And if she turns out to actually be mean..again, just tell her "Have a nice day", and leave..because she's not worth your time and energy. For #3..do what you did for #1 and #2. But also, take pressure off of yourself from needing it to go well. Alot of the reasons why guys have approach anxiety, is because they need the approach to go well. Also if he feels that the girl is out of his league..he thinks that it won't go well anyways, and the girl will brutally reject him..telling him to "FUCK OFF!" or "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" or something like that. Remember how i talked about each brick being needed, to build your castle/or fortress? Just look at her as being that brick that you need, to help build your fortress, to be a very strong and solid fortress. And by the way..your fortress is "Your Confidence..The Life That You Want To Have..The Man That You Want To Be..and The Success That You Want To Have In Your Life"..all of that stuff represents your fortress. So if you look at approaching that girl (who's out of your league)..from that perspective..you will be able to approach her. And again..also apply the stuff from #1 and #2 to #3. And also look at it as..you're just curious to see what she's about. And you can even use that line "Excuse me, i just saw you walking. And i couldn't help but to find out what you are about"..which will be an authentic and congruent line to use, because you actually are curious to find out what she is about. And the worst thing that could happen from that is..she blows you out or she rejects you. But everything that you have..will still be intact after that blowout or rejection. So it's not the end of the world..you're still going to be in one piece..and you really can just approach another girl..so you'll be just fine. And finally #4..if you're afraid that you'll get rejected in front of people..just start with approaching girls in a low pressure situation, where there are very few to no people around. And once you've done that..you can gradually work your way up to, approaching girls in more high social pressure situations (where there are more people around you and the girl). And trust me, as you gain more momentum..doing these approaches while gradually working your way up to more higher social pressure situations..your confidence will also rise..which will give you more inner confidence to do more of those high social pressure approaches. Also apply this same strategy, to girls who are in groups. Gradually work your way up to approaching a group of girls. So maybe you approach several lone girls..and by then, you will have the confidence to approach girls in pairs (a 2 girl group). And after you've approached a few of those..then you will have the confidence to approach a group of girls that have 3 or more girls in that group.




Most of what keeps guys from approaching girls, is just their negative mindsets. If they could just flip those negative mindsets into positive mindsets..then they would find themselves approaching these girls (that they thought was SO SCARY! ) with relative ease. And it will blow guys minds away..to see that it was really so easy, when they were making it seem so difficult..because he was so up in his head about approaching girls. And because i still get logical and in my head sometimes too..whenever i do..i always go back to these basic fundamental positive mindsets, that will get me back into approaching momentum. And those are the ways, that you will get yourself to approach girls, even if you don't want to (for the 4 main reasons that i described earlier). I've been approaching girls for 6 years..and these are the practical steps, that allowed me to do that, and to continue to do that into the present day.




-G

[guest]

"What are you up to?" Isn't that a creepy thing to say though? I was under the impression such questions are not a man's business to be asking a stranger. Just wondering, let me know what you think.

[JackZero]

Apr 22, 2021 4:31:37 GMT guest said:

"What are you up to?" Isn't that a creepy thing to say though? I was under the impression such questions are not a man's business to be asking a stranger. Just wondering, let me know what you think.

Instead of saying that you were under the impression that such questions are creepy maybe explain why you think that they are creepy.  

[pilgrimmeister]

Being creepy is more to do with your body language and how you present yourself rather than what you say. With what you say, it's the motive behind what you are saying, like just saying "Hi, how are you" just off the street for the sole purpose of getting some action would be considered creepy, where at a social event, and with the intention of just being friendly and open, then "Hi, how are you" wouldn't be considered creepy.

Remember there are some women out there who openly admit, that any guy who is not attractive approaching them would be labled a creep, where an attractive guy wouldn't be considered creepy.

[guest]

Apr 22, 2021 4:40:29 GMT JackZero said:

Apr 22, 2021 4:31:37 GMT guest said:

"What are you up to?" Isn't that a creepy thing to say though? I was under the impression such questions are not a man's business to be asking a stranger. Just wondering, let me know what you think.

Instead of saying that you were under the impression that such questions are creepy maybe explain why you think that they are creepy.  

Are you saying I'm wrong? I don't know, I'm new. What I think is creepy, is when a guy walks up to a girl and asks her "What are you up to?" She doesn't know him from a hole in the wall and now he's asking what she's doing? I feel a guy's got to introduce himself AND say what HE'S up to, in order for a question like that to become acceptable to ask.

[JackZero]

Apr 23, 2021 2:18:08 GMT guest said:

Apr 22, 2021 4:40:29 GMT JackZero said:

Instead of saying that you were under the impression that such questions are creepy maybe explain why you think that they are creepy.  

Are you saying I'm wrong? I don't know, I'm new. What I think is creepy, is when a guy walks up to a girl and asks her "What are you up to?" She doesn't know him from a hole in the wall and now he's asking what she's doing? I feel a guy's got to introduce himself AND say what HE'S up to, in order for a question like that to become acceptable to ask.

I'm not saying right or wrong.  I want to know where you get that thinking from.  There may be a guru.  There may be an experience that you had.  You may have seen someone get shot down when asking that.  It will be easier to guide you if there is an understanding of where you're coming from.  

In the context that G wrote about, he explained that "what are you up to?" should be done after an opening statement and compliment.  You explain creepy as if that's the first thing that's said.  Your idea of what's acceptable is pretty much the same framework that G laid out.  An icebreaker that leads to the question.  I wouldn't do it your way, not saying that it's wrong, but you're introducing yourself and letting her know what your doing without her even expressing that she actually cares about knowing that information.  A lot of investment on your part without her reciprocating.

[guest]

Apr 23, 2021 2:45:52 GMT JackZero said:

Apr 23, 2021 2:18:08 GMT guest said:

Are you saying I'm wrong? I don't know, I'm new. What I think is creepy, is when a guy walks up to a girl and asks her "What are you up to?" She doesn't know him from a hole in the wall and now he's asking what she's doing? I feel a guy's got to introduce himself AND say what HE'S up to, in order for a question like that to become acceptable to ask.

I'm not saying right or wrong.  I want to know where you get that thinking from.  There may be a guru.  There may be an experience that you had.  You may have seen someone get shot down when asking that.  It will be easier to guide you if there is an understanding of where you're coming from.  

In the context that G wrote about, he explained that "what are you up to?" should be done after an opening statement and compliment.  You explain creepy as if that's the first thing that's said.  Your idea of what's acceptable is pretty much the same framework that G laid out.  An icebreaker that leads to the question.  I wouldn't do it your way, not saying that it's wrong, but you're introducing yourself and letting her know what your doing without her even expressing that she actually cares about knowing that information.  A lot of investment on your part without her reciprocating.

I see. It was a guru who told me not to say that. What's the right thing to do Jack? The same exact thing that G proposed? Because as you say, what I proposed is too much investment.

[JackZero]

Apr 23, 2021 3:07:25 GMT guest said:

Apr 23, 2021 2:45:52 GMT JackZero said:

I'm not saying right or wrong.  I want to know where you get that thinking from.  There may be a guru.  There may be an experience that you had.  You may have seen someone get shot down when asking that.  It will be easier to guide you if there is an understanding of where you're coming from.  

In the context that G wrote about, he explained that "what are you up to?" should be done after an opening statement and compliment.  You explain creepy as if that's the first thing that's said.  Your idea of what's acceptable is pretty much the same framework that G laid out.  An icebreaker that leads to the question.  I wouldn't do it your way, not saying that it's wrong, but you're introducing yourself and letting her know what your doing without her even expressing that she actually cares about knowing that information.  A lot of investment on your part without her reciprocating.

I see. It was a guru who told me not to say that. What's the right thing to do Jack? The same exact thing that G proposed? Because as you say, what I proposed is too much investment.

I would say go back and read the first three sentences in the original post.  Approaching is more about you feeling comfortable with what you do as opposed as what someone else thinks is the right approach for you.  If you think introducing yourself, saying what you're up to, and then asking the girl what she's up to...that's the right approach for you.  If you do that enough times and you pay attention to the woman's response, you are going to be able to make tweaks to what you're doing.  Then you can come back and say that I was right about the too much investment or you have had enough success to say that I was full of shit about that investment.

I have an end goal in my interactions with women.  My goal is to have a girl feel good about herself when she's around me and at the same time view me as a sexual option.  So my approaches tend to be the pathway to my goal.  Then you have guys that want to sell themselves to a girl (I'm not criticizing that) and those guys can't take the same path as me.  There are others that want their charisma to be their attractive quality, so they take a different path.  So ask yourself, what is your end goal on how you want a girl to be attracted to you.  Tailor your approach to your end goal.  If you figure that out, we will be better able to help you with ideas on your approaches and tweaks to fix sticking points.

[GFRESH2DEF]

Apr 22, 2021 4:31:37 GMT guest said:

"What are you up to?" Isn't that a creepy thing to say though? I was under the impression such questions are not a man's business to be asking a stranger. Just wondering, let me know what you think.

 


It's only creepy, if you feel awkward when you're asking her that. You can literally have two different guys (Guy A and Guy B), go up to to the same girl, and ask her the same exact thing ("What are you up to?"), at different times. Guy A feels awkward when he's asking her that question..because he feels like he's doing something wrong. But Guy B feels confident when he asks her that question. Why??..because he doesn't feel any awkwardness about it. He feels like it's completely fine and normal, to ask her this. And..he feels very comfortable inside of his own skin (This one is very important, when approaching women..Inner Game!). Now how do you think she will react to guy A, when he asks her that question? How do you think she will react when Guy B, asks her that exact same question? You'll probably get 2 different results for both guys. And the only difference between them, was in their vibe. And girls tend to mirror back to you, whatever energy that you bring to them. So if you have a negative vibe when you approach her..you'll more than likely get a negative response back from her. If you have a positive vibe when you approach her..you'll more than likely get a positive response back from her. And like Pilgrimmeister said..it's about your body language and how you present yourself..along with your thought process..which all of that attributes to your vibe. So if you are constantly getting bad reactions, when you approach women..then maybe..just maybe..the trouble lies in your vibe (how you're presenting yourself..your body language..your mental frame and thought process at the time..and your energy/mood), rather than a simple question like.."What are you up to?"..as being the issue. So maybe that's a sign, that you need to work on improving your vibe.




And about the looks thing..yeah looks does matter. I'm not going to even pretend that it doesn't matter. But guess what..If you have good looks with a shitty vibe, and bad inner game (because you lack confidence in yourself)..good looks will help you NONE! For the most part..looks will only add on, to your confidence. But if you are a guy who lacks in confidence..your good looks won't be as effective, as you would hope that it would be. In some cases..if you lack confidence, but you have good looks..girls will blow you out even harder. Why??..because some women actually think and expect, for guys that have good looks..to already be confident (to already be Alpha). And if they find out that you're actually not very confident in yourself (because you only have good looks, but with very little confidence in yourself)..they will be turned off by you, even more..than they would be, with a guy who is not very good looking, but he is very confident in himself.

 


I don't mind you disagreeing with anything that's in my post. You (or anybody else) are allowed to have your own opinion about it. We are here to have a discussion about these topics..that's what this forum is here for. I made this post, to help guys to understand, why they hesitate to approach a woman that they find attractive (or not even approach her at all). And i narrowed it down to 4 reasons. Because if you can understand why you're doing something..then you are halfway to solving it. I even laid out the steps that you can take for each of the 4 reasons, to help you to get to that solution for yourself. And these are all problems and solutions that i discovered for myself, out in the field. So it's not like, i'm posting about something, that i have absolutely no clue about.



-G  

[GFRESH2DEF]

Apr 23, 2021 2:45:52 GMT JackZero said:

Apr 23, 2021 2:18:08 GMT guest said:

Are you saying I'm wrong? I don't know, I'm new. What I think is creepy, is when a guy walks up to a girl and asks her "What are you up to?" She doesn't know him from a hole in the wall and now he's asking what she's doing? I feel a guy's got to introduce himself AND say what HE'S up to, in order for a question like that to become acceptable to ask.

I'm not saying right or wrong.  I want to know where you get that thinking from.  There may be a guru.  There may be an experience that you had.  You may have seen someone get shot down when asking that.  It will be easier to guide you if there is an understanding of where you're coming from.  

In the context that G wrote about, he explained that "what are you up to?" should be done after an opening statement and compliment.  You explain creepy as if that's the first thing that's said.  Your idea of what's acceptable is pretty much the same framework that G laid out.  An icebreaker that leads to the question.  I wouldn't do it your way, not saying that it's wrong, but you're introducing yourself and letting her know what your doing without her even expressing that she actually cares about knowing that information.  A lot of investment on your part without her reciprocating.

And just like Jack said..saying "What are you up to?" was not the first thing that i said to say to her. It's said after the opener and a compliment. How you were able to just gloss over that??..i don't know. Asking a random girl who you don't know.."What are you up to?" right off the bat, is obviously socially unintelligent. But then again, like i said before..a guy who is comfortable within himself..he carries himself very well..he's exuding confidence..and he has the right vibe..can probably get away with, asking a random girl "What are you up to?", as his opener. And it probably wouldn't even creep the girl out..not one bit. So it really just depends on the guy.



-G

[guest]

Apr 23, 2021 3:32:14 GMT JackZero said:

Apr 23, 2021 3:07:25 GMT guest said:

I see. It was a guru who told me not to say that. What's the right thing to do Jack? The same exact thing that G proposed? Because as you say, what I proposed is too much investment.

I would say go back and read the first three sentences in the original post.  Approaching is more about you feeling comfortable with what you do as opposed as what someone else thinks is the right approach for you.  If you think introducing yourself, saying what you're up to, and then asking the girl what she's up to...that's the right approach for you.  If you do that enough times and you pay attention to the woman's response, you are going to be able to make tweaks to what you're doing.  Then you can come back and say that I was right about the too much investment or you have had enough success to say that I was full of shit about that investment.

I have an end goal in my interactions with women.  My goal is to have a girl feel good about herself when she's around me and at the same time view me as a sexual option.  So my approaches tend to be the pathway to my goal.  Then you have guys that want to sell themselves to a girl (I'm not criticizing that) and those guys can't take the same path as me.  There are others that want their charisma to be their attractive quality, so they take a different path.  So ask yourself, what is your end goal on how you want a girl to be attracted to you.  Tailor your approach to your end goal.  If you figure that out, we will be better able to help you with ideas on your approaches and tweaks to fix sticking points.

I see, Jack. My motive behind telling her what I'm up to is because I want to passionately reveal to her what sort of life I lead. So I guess, now that I think about it, is that I'm SELLING myself. Selling an experience to her that she can become apart of. I live a passionate life, and so she can jump aboard if that's what she likes. I feel like if I can paint a passionate picture about who I am and what I do, then that's what will make her chase. But perhaps there is a more subtle way of doing it - the way you're doing it. It can be implicit in your type of attitude, that you're doing a lot of good and fun and attractive shit.

[guest]

Apr 23, 2021 6:12:00 GMT GFRESH2DEF said:

Apr 22, 2021 4:31:37 GMT guest said:

"What are you up to?" Isn't that a creepy thing to say though? I was under the impression such questions are not a man's business to be asking a stranger. Just wondering, let me know what you think.

 


It's only creepy, if you feel awkward when you're asking her that. You can literally have two different guys (Guy A and Guy B), go up to to the same girl, and ask her the same exact thing ("What are you up to?"), at different times. Guy A feels awkward when he's asking her that question..because he feels like he's doing something wrong. But Guy B feels confident when he asks her that question. Why??..because he doesn't feel any awkwardness about it. He feels like it's completely fine and normal, to ask her this. And..he feels very comfortable inside of his own skin (This one is very important, when approaching women..Inner Game!). Now how do you think she will react to guy A, when he asks her that question? How do you think she will react when Guy B, asks her that exact same question? You'll probably get 2 different results for both guys. And the only difference between them, was in their vibe. And girls tend to mirror back to you, whatever energy that you bring to them. So if you have a negative vibe when you approach her..you'll more than likely get a negative response back from her. If you have a positive vibe when you approach her..you'll more than likely get a positive response back from her. And like Pilgrimmeister said..it's about your body language and how you present yourself..along with your thought process..which all of that attributes to your vibe. So if you are constantly getting bad reactions, when you approach women..then maybe..just maybe..the trouble lies in your vibe (how you're presenting yourself..your body language..your mental frame and thought process at the time..and your energy/mood), rather than a simple question like.."What are you up to?"..as being the issue. So maybe that's a sign, that you need to work on improving your vibe.


And about the looks thing..yeah looks does matter. I'm not going to even pretend that it doesn't matter. But guess what..If you have good looks with a shitty vibe, and bad inner game (because you lack confidence in yourself)..good looks will help you NONE! For the most part..looks will only add on, to your confidence. But if you are a guy who lacks in confidence..your good looks won't be as effective, as you would hope that it would be. In some cases..if you lack confidence, but you have good looks..girls will blow you out even harder. Why??..because some women actually think and expect, for guys that have good looks..to already be confident (to already be Alpha). And if they find out that you're actually not very confident in yourself (because you only have good looks, but with very little confidence in yourself)..they will be turned off by you, even more..than they would be, with a guy who is not very good looking, but he is very confident in himself.

I believe you are right. And I understand you.

Recently I was the guy with the good looks but a bad vibe. Couple months ago I was in a bar/grill on friday night (That means when a lot of couples were there) and I was staring at this chick who was in my natural field of view. She was sitting at such an angle that I couldn't help but look at her while I was talking to the person i was with. And for her it was the same thing with me. Even though I started off okay, I slipped and started displaying the body language of a sissy while she was looking at me and so she quit looking at me. I am not 100% sure that this is what actually occured between me and her, as it was a very subtle thing, a subliminal thing, but I still caught it - which says to me that I probably was right in my interpretation of the non-verbal exchange. And she had some fucking fat, bearded, terribly-dressed redneck as her boyfriend but apparantly his bad looks didn't matter AS much as other things!! Yep I know what you mean.

[Alex Penn]

Absolutely, taking action is key! Each interaction is a step toward building your confidence fortress. Remember, it's a process, one brick at a time. Embrace the journey, enjoy it, and have fun. Don't take it too seriously; you're already making progress. And when faced with challenges, view them as opportunities for growth. Keep taking action, and results will follow. What's your favorite approach story?