statements of intent?

[tinman]

I feel slightly confused about the optimum way of 'showing intent'

Not just 'when' (for example mystery says to only show it after the girl has done so first whereas other PUA's obviously disagree)
but also 'how'


I know there is KINO and there's statements of intent, but I feel i'm yet to find a good smooth way of working them together.

For example, kino escalation PAST FRIENDLY/INCIDENTAL touch seems odd and oncongruent without having the verbals to back it up!
Like, talking too a girl in a bar and you've touched her arms a few times. You need to get more sexual with the kino but you are talking about her latest holiday (as opposed to about 'you and her' or whatever) and you haven't made a 'statement of intent' yet. Just grabbing her by the waste or touching her hair or whatever would seem way out of place no? Would one need to purposely lead the conversation in a certain way to make it 'smoother'? If so what/how

And with statements of intent  (basically ''You're kinda sexy'' or whatever) - are these necessary? And is there an optimum way of stating it? And an optimum time?

Sometimes I think I've made my intent clear with things such as strong, lingering eye contact and general demeanour and i'm showing interest in the girl and i'm also trying to be fun etc and I KNOW that the girl is into me, but she ejects at some point, and I feel as though maybe the 'statement of intent' was missing and that maybe my intent wasn't clear enough despite my efforts

How does this process tend to look for you in a bar pickup with an indirect open?

[JackZero]

Sounds like you are struggling with the flirtation aspect. That can be playful teasing, light compliments, good eye contact, etc... Statements of intent and kino are too blunt for the majority of women if they haven't already viewed you as a sexual option.

[neo87]

Mar 23, 2018 9:16:53 GMT tinman said:

I feel slightly confused about the optimum way of 'showing intent'

Not just 'when' (for example mystery says to only show it after the girl has done so first whereas other PUA's obviously disagree)
but also 'how'


I know there is KINO and there's statements of intent, but I feel i'm yet to find a good smooth way of working them together.

For example, kino escalation PAST FRIENDLY/INCIDENTAL touch seems odd and oncongruent without having the verbals to back it up!
Like, talking too a girl in a bar and you've touched her arms a few times. You need to get more sexual with the kino but you are talking about her latest holiday (as opposed to about 'you and her' or whatever) and you haven't made a 'statement of intent' yet. Just grabbing her by the waste or touching her hair or whatever would seem way out of place no? Would one need to purposely lead the conversation in a certain way to make it 'smoother'? If so what/how

And with statements of intent  (basically ''You're kinda sexy'' or whatever) - are these necessary? And is there an optimum way of stating it? And an optimum time?

Sometimes I think I've made my intent clear with things such as strong, lingering eye contact and general demeanour and i'm showing interest in the girl and i'm also trying to be fun etc and I KNOW that the girl is into me, but she ejects at some point, and I feel as though maybe the 'statement of intent' was missing and that maybe my intent wasn't clear enough despite my efforts

How does this process tend to look for you in a bar pickup with an indirect open?

I never got the concept of SOI's with an indirect open. I mean, you talk to a girl abt something indirectly, you fluff and do these SOIs like touching her or complimenting her and that's supposed to change the interaction? Maybe someone has a better handle on it...I'll just say this. If you want to change the interaction...JUST CHANGE THE INTERACTION. Even if you're talking to a girl about something else, you can always stop and just be clear. You can come clean and say "hey i gotta be honest, I just said all that shit because I thought you were cute and wanted to see if you'd fall for that. And you did so....have a good night" with a fake walk away. Or you could just go straight into verbalizing I dont want to talk about this, lets grab a drink and talk over there (away from friends). Its a bar...its random. Dont be afraid to be random. Ive found myself many times in a scenario where say a friend introduces me to a female friend, I start a lame conversation, and then I snap out of it and think "oh crap..she's actually cute, why am I talking to her about this bs." And I'll say that or... just say lets go there, or let's go out sometime or whatever. It's not against what Jack is saying because there is a difference between being blunt...and being blunt with a PURPOSE. So talking to a chick abt her holiday and then saying you're sexy or grabbing her waist = blunt. Talking to a chick abt her holiday and interrupting her and saying "actually, i gotta be honest.... I dont want to talk abt HOLIDAYS at the BAR...you're sexy...and it would be a shame if we didnt run off and get married tonight" and into flirting...thats blunt but with a purpose. You're LEADING her and the interaction where you want it to go.

[N2thevoid]

To add to what Neo is saying I think it speaks volumes about your character when your actions are congruent with your intentions. Of course this will polarize women quickly but nothing ventured nothing gained. The girls who even had a slight interest in you to begin with will only feel more compelled towards you. And the ones who weren’t well you’ve just saved yourself some time and bit of grief.

Nothing is ever gained by being meek.