Kartel
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 27 
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Post by Kartel on Oct 19, 2020 9:38:48 GMT
can't find in any of my educational material this piece about the female psychology: what happens in a woman's brain that makes her usually feel pulled to a man that gives her less attention and feels pushed away by men that give her a lot of attention?
if any of you can explain this in detail would be a very useful self-improvement article. thanks in advance
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Post by Lord Charm on Oct 19, 2020 14:10:03 GMT
I think that it is not about how much attention you give her, but your intentions behind the way you act. Talking from my little experience, I think it is more useful to reveal your attraction rather than hiding it with the hope that she will be attracted by doing so. Otherwise, sb else (a more direct type of person) could intervene and you will lose your opportunity (again, this happened to me).
I don't know if you will find it helpful or not, but try reading Models by Mark Manson. He says something about this: Treat the girl like you would want to be with her, you are turned on by her, but you are still OK, even if that doesn't happen. This is what (I think) means to "give her less attention". JackZero also mentioned this in a previous post, if I remember well.
Guys with far more experience can correct me if I am wrong and add more explanations. What I wrote above is just what I understood after getting advice from other guys on this forum, and analyzing one of my many mistakes.
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Post by JackZero on Oct 19, 2020 15:40:04 GMT
OP, I think your question needs more detail to it. If a girl let's you know that she's into you and you pay less attention to her, you may cause her to change her mind about you. If a girl is into you, but you have a lot of other things going on that betters your life then she may try to fight to get some of the time you have to spare. I think we need a real clear understanding on what you mean by less attention pulls women.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Oct 19, 2020 19:25:23 GMT
OP, I think your question needs more detail to it. If a girl let's you know that she's into you and you pay less attention to her, you may cause her to change her mind about you. If a girl is into you, but you have a lot of other things going on that betters your life then she may try to fight to get some of the time you have to spare. I think we need a real clear understanding on what you mean by less attention pulls women. As Jack says OP. The answer to this question depends somewhat on where in the process you are. If it is early on or if you haven’t even asked her out, then you need to signal your interest in a manner that shows clear intent and desire. Otherwise you will both be wondering, possibly making each other predict or assume that the other is disinterested. That becomes a game that can pretty much result in holding your dick in your hand wondering where she went. . A lot of men don’t know the difference between “showing interest” and “acting like a scary creeper.” If you think showing interest means you have to constantly talk to a woman or insert yourself into her plans or constantly remark on her appearance or things like that, then the reason women aren’t returning your interest is probably because you’re freaking her the fuck out. Are you looking at her like a fat kid looks at cake, or like she's a grown ass woman you'd ravish if you had an evening alone? |
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Oct 20, 2020 12:02:13 GMT
Part of the answer is that we as humans tend to value things that are scarce.
If your attention to her is scarce, she will value it more, generally speaking. The same applies to us men, and this concept is true in things like economics as well.
If you are constantly showering her with affection you are lowering your value because you are always available. Also, you deprive her of the opportunity to invest by herself.
That leads me to the second concept, we value things more if we invest a lot in these things first. So if she doesnt invest much, she also won't care that much, generally speaking. Thats why guys get oneitis, they have devoted so much of their time and energy into a girl that they want something out of it, they want a result.
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Post by N2thevoid on Oct 27, 2020 17:07:01 GMT
OP, I think your question needs more detail to it. If a girl let's you know that she's into you and you pay less attention to her, you may cause her to change her mind about you. If a girl is into you, but you have a lot of other things going on that betters your life then she may try to fight to get some of the time you have to spare. I think we need a real clear understanding on what you mean by less attention pulls women. As Jack says OP. The answer to this question depends somewhat on where in the process you are. If it is early on or if you haven’t even asked her out, then you need to signal your interest in a manner that shows clear intent and desire. Otherwise you will both be wondering, possibly making each other predict or assume that the other is disinterested. That becomes a game that can pretty much result in holding your dick in your hand wondering where she went. . A lot of men don’t know the difference between “showing interest” and “acting like a scary creeper.” If you think showing interest means you have to constantly talk to a woman or insert yourself into her plans or constantly remark on her appearance or things like that, then the reason women aren’t returning your interest is probably because you’re freaking her the fuck out. Are you looking at her like a fat kid looks at cake, or like she's a grown ass woman you'd ravish if you had an evening alone? Great post. As I say there's a thin line between 'hot' and creepy. Well, not always thin. If she clearly finds the guy unattractive to begin with, she'll accuse him of making her feel uncomfortable (and possibly for good reason) and chaste him a creeper. The "thin line" comes down to how you present. For many women, even that hot guy they see can turn creepy (or douchie) quick if he's coming at her thirsty. She FEELS desire only if she has some sort of attraction to him, in addition to his pursuing of her not as a piece of meat but as a woman "he wants to ravish". A man of perceived value will turn her attraction buttons on when he pursues her. As Jack said, a man of value VALUES himself, striving to better his life and she, in some sense, is along for the ride. What I've noticed in my clinical practice (and in my own life), once a guy starts to value himself less - meaning he gives up on the things that she was attracted to in the beginning (e.g., staying in shape, working on his career, improving his life in all ways) her attraction to him dies down. Often times it will start with her being less receptive to sex. It could mean the frequency and/or her having sex out of obligation to be the 'good' girlfriend or wife. Be the man YOU want to be. Not the man you think others want you to be. And if you aren't sure what that is, that's ok too. Do some investigating, try different things and with time and a bit of persevering it'll become clearer to you with experience. Hint: it won't happen playing video games all day, reading books and not getting any 'field practice', obsessing over your body in the gym etc, etc.. |
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Post by ekrin987 on Dec 20, 2020 6:55:25 GMT
It demonstrates higher value in many ways.
1. You have options, places to be, people to see and deadlines at work to worry about.
2. It intrigues her: "Why is he not chasing me like most other guys? He is not gay - he is talking to other women? Do I need to chase him; he's attractive.
3. Basic phycology of people always wanting what they cannot have.
4. It is the polar opposite of needy.
It portrays confidence and importance.
How many times have you seen the CEO of a fortune 500 company chasing middle managers around for attention?
Never! A CEO doesn't need to chase anyone around.
I honestly think the best image to portray is Hey you seem pretty cool, I'm Greg. But I'm really above chasing anyone around because beauty is a common trait. I am more interested in what else people have to offer in my life.
Don't initiate text with women all the time. Why? You are a confident well liked guy with options and don't chase women. If you still do not have many options -- this is the best way fake it till you make it.
Don't lie. Just be confident with yourself, "Oh.. Hey Betty.. I've been busy lately with some DHV shit i do sometimes. Nice to hear from you! How have you been doing?"
Also you will know when she initiates after a few days - Boom!. HUGE sign she's into you.
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 20, 2020 22:20:43 GMT
It demonstrates higher value in many ways. 1. You have options, places to be, people to see and deadlines at work to worry about. 2. It intrigues her: "Why is he not chasing me like most other guys? He is not gay - he is talking to other women? Do I need to chase him; he's attractive. 3. Basic phycology of people always wanting what they cannot have. 4. It is the polar opposite of needy. It portrays confidence and importance. How many times have you seen the CEO of a fortune 500 company chasing middle managers around for attention? Never! A CEO doesn't need to chase anyone around. I honestly think the best image to portray is Hey you seem pretty cool, I'm Greg. But I'm really above chasing anyone around because beauty is a common trait. I am more interested in what else people have to offer in my life. Don't initiate text with women all the time. Why? You are a confident well liked guy with options and don't chase women. If you still do not have many options -- this is the best way fake it till you make it. Don't lie. Just be confident with yourself, "Oh.. Hey Betty.. I've been busy lately with some DHV shit i do sometimes. Nice to hear from you! How have you been doing?" Also you will know when she initiates after a few days - Boom!. HUGE sign she's into you. I have been going back and forth on this lately. I think depends what you want. If you are always not initiating and seem busy, the women will feed off it and think of you differently. So if you were looking let's say for a gf or wife type, I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. I know not everyone will agree, but I find a lot more girls now just fuck and use me for sex instead of try to develop anything more. I think this style attracts a certain type of girl while filtering out the ones that are quality and think fuck this guy he doesn't have time for me, well I have more options than him and while he's not seeing me I will be looking for someone who wants to. So yeah, kind of a catch 22 to me. 8.5.5 |
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Post by ekrin987 on Dec 21, 2020 20:11:50 GMT
"I have been going back and forth on this lately. I think depends what you want. If you are always not initiating and seem busy, the women will feed off it and think of you differently. So if you were looking let's say for a gf or wife type, I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. I know not everyone will agree, but I find a lot more girls now just fuck and use me for sex instead of try to develop anything more. I think this style attracts a certain type of girl while filtering out the ones that are quality and think fuck this guy he doesn't have time for me, well I have more options than him and while he's not seeing me I will be looking for someone who wants to. So yeah, kind of a catch 22 to me.
8.5.5"
I do not understand this mentality in these forums.
Why not for the women who will not stop chasing you around and you need to give excuses to not hook up?
Hey if she has better things to do, these other three chicks will not leave me alone. LoL
Simple. Easy. Effective.
EDIT: you are dating sluts. LoL
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 21, 2020 21:12:25 GMT
"I have been going back and forth on this lately. I think depends what you want. If you are always not initiating and seem busy, the women will feed off it and think of you differently. So if you were looking let's say for a gf or wife type, I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. I know not everyone will agree, but I find a lot more girls now just fuck and use me for sex instead of try to develop anything more. I think this style attracts a certain type of girl while filtering out the ones that are quality and think fuck this guy he doesn't have time for me, well I have more options than him and while he's not seeing me I will be looking for someone who wants to. So yeah, kind of a catch 22 to me. 8.5.5" I do not understand this mentality in these forums. Why not for the women who will not stop chasing you around and you need to give excuses to not hook up? Hey if she has better things to do, these other three chicks will not leave me alone. LoL Simple. Easy. Effective. EDIT: you are dating sluts. LoL Interesting edit, also you say it kind of condescendingly, which is odd. Maybe you have some internal shit to work out. Don't take that the wrong way, but I think you painted with a pretty broad stroke calling them "sluts" and assuming I am dating them. Rather, they are inviting me over and letting out their inner porn star. They are trying all the sexual stuff they didn't get to enjoy with the guys they did actually date. They want to satisfy me. That's the point. My larger point is my current style attracts that at the moment vs LTR-types. I have no doubt that these girls would be more traditional if my mindset was in that frame. But, the mindset I have created attracts the ones who want to fuck my brains out; I am trying to give a heads up, that not everyone wants a personal porn star and some guys are looking for a real long lasting relationship instead of fuck buddies. But also, when the ones who fuck my brains out bring up anything about relationships, I currently shoot it down which reinforces the sexuality of the relationship without the drama. But the cost of this is the "relationships" become all about sex and not much more. So I think you need to figure out what it is you actually want because your use of tactics like very little attention will act as a filter and get rid of a ton of potential prospects while attracting the ones that might have internal issues and are hitting you up because of the lack of attention rather than any kind of real attraction to you...
It has gotten to the point where I can meet 5 girls and I am not shocked that all 5 will fuck me that same night without knowing much about me or telling me much about them. So sexually amazing but it creates a weird feeling that is kind of like wtf, I don't even really know anything about you but you are down to just fuck after hanging out an hour. For example I had a couple girls in the last two weeks who basically begged me to fuck them and let them play with my dick. For me, I just don't know how I feel about completely meaningless sex. My rotation helps with it of course but at the end of the day, those are all based primarily on sex too. Sex is obviously fun and feels good but for me there is an empty feeling attached to it too, sometimes. Ha if I wasn't banging though, I would feel like shit too. My HB would be the perfect one, but of course, she's unobtainable except sexually (ironically?).
8.5.5 |
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Post by JackZero on Dec 22, 2020 0:41:33 GMT
"I have been going back and forth on this lately. I think depends what you want. If you are always not initiating and seem busy, the women will feed off it and think of you differently. So if you were looking let's say for a gf or wife type, I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. I know not everyone will agree, but I find a lot more girls now just fuck and use me for sex instead of try to develop anything more. I think this style attracts a certain type of girl while filtering out the ones that are quality and think fuck this guy he doesn't have time for me, well I have more options than him and while he's not seeing me I will be looking for someone who wants to. So yeah, kind of a catch 22 to me. 8.5.5" I do not understand this mentality in these forums. Why not for the women who will not stop chasing you around and you need to give excuses to not hook up? Hey if she has better things to do, these other three chicks will not leave me alone. LoL Simple. Easy. Effective. EDIT: you are dating sluts. LoL This whole thing is situational. Even when it comes to your examples...it's still situational. A girl that you have to make excuses to not hook up is obviously a girl that is into you that you're not into. If your giving her excuses not to hook up, then you are playing the role similar to a woman that's not interested but is giving you excuses instead of being honest. She's thinking you're busy instead of your actual intention. The most important part of your scenario...the woman is actually interested. If she's interested, then you being busy does not matter because the interest is already there. If a girl is kind of interested and you give her excuses to not to hook up, that's not going to build more desire for her to want to hook up. Common sense will tell you that you're not going to have to make excuses to not hook up with a girl that isn't interested in hooking up. |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 22, 2020 1:16:11 GMT
"I have been going back and forth on this lately. I think depends what you want. If you are always not initiating and seem busy, the women will feed off it and think of you differently. So if you were looking let's say for a gf or wife type, I think you are shooting yourself in the foot. I know not everyone will agree, but I find a lot more girls now just fuck and use me for sex instead of try to develop anything more. I think this style attracts a certain type of girl while filtering out the ones that are quality and think fuck this guy he doesn't have time for me, well I have more options than him and while he's not seeing me I will be looking for someone who wants to. So yeah, kind of a catch 22 to me. 8.5.5" I do not understand this mentality in these forums. Why not for the women who will not stop chasing you around and you need to give excuses to not hook up? Hey if she has better things to do, these other three chicks will not leave me alone. LoL Simple. Easy. Effective. EDIT: you are dating sluts. LoL This whole thing is situational. Even when it comes to your examples...it's still situational. A girl that you have to make excuses to not hook up is obviously a girl that is into you that you're not into. If your giving her excuses not to hook up, then you are playing the role similar to a woman that's not interested but is giving you excuses instead of being honest. She's thinking you're busy instead of your actual intention. The most important part of your scenario...the woman is actually interested. If she's interested, then you being busy does not matter because the interest is already there. If a girl is kind of interested and you give her excuses to not to hook up, that's not going to build more desire for her to want to hook up. Common sense will tell you that you're not going to have to make excuses to not hook up with a girl that isn't interested in hooking up. Yeah, I don't even get what he is saying. He is saying he has girls that want to hook up and that he is pretending to be busy in order to not hook up with them? What on earth is the point of that - if she's into you and you are into her, why would you purposely ruin it? I think it's an internal issue and at some level the girls he's pulling aren't the ones he finds attractive and therefore like you're saying, it is pointless. Work on spending time getting the ones you want instead of pointless games for your ego. 8.5.5 |
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Post by Alex Penn on Dec 8, 2023 14:53:58 GMT
It's not a mystery, mate. Here's the deal: Women, like anyone, value what they earn. When a guy is all in, giving tons of attention, it can feel suffocating. It's like being force-fed. But when a guy plays it cool, offers attention in measured doses, it sparks curiosity. It's basic human psychology.
Think about it like this: Too much attention too soon feels like a movie spoiler. It kills the anticipation. On the flip side, a bit of mystery, some unpredictability, that's the sweet spot.
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