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Post by pilgrimmeister on Dec 2, 2020 9:05:03 GMT
Just going round for sex isn't really going to cut it longer term. You are going to need to start taking her out places. A meal out or a fun activity will work for a change of scenery.
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 2, 2020 18:13:46 GMT
Just going round for sex isn't really going to cut it longer term. You are going to need to start taking her out places. A meal out or a fun activity will work for a change of scenery. Yep, I am not against that. Logistically difficult with her work schedule but I agree. I am going to see if there are some nice places around hers where we can do like sushi or something. We discussed cooking together when she has more free time (we had to order in last time instead of cook idea because of her work). It is like the hard part was the easiest and now working backwards. I also have to balance not being needy with her. Last night I texted her just checking in tried a little nice message to brighten her day something about hope she's killing work and was just thinking about your amazing face and it put a a huge smile on mine  type thing. Then kept it chill and told her about my day (we text like 1x every day or two). She texted a couple hours later per usual but she said how worked until 4am day before (sucks lol) but I think she was happy to hear from me. I waited a couple hours and kept it cool and not pressing but said hopefully if things aren't too crazy busy we can do another amazing evening maybe Saturday night - something amazing to look forward to  . I think this is the best way to deal with her for now and kind of let her let me know when can hang, so far it's worked. Slowly and surely. Update on other wealthy girl - I ignored for a day after she passed out on our plans. She called me from a different number and everything and was crying for messing up our evening the other day. Because I am into HB, this semi-HB is not as attractive to me, but is the more reliable girl at this point. So I went over to her place - she was super excited to see me, made me a card for bailing, bought dinner, and got some toy at the sex shop. She did some weird jealousy stuff though - told me this guy was texting her for months and won't stop. She made sure I knew. She let me know she went to a store where this guy she used to fuck worked. I still played it cool, and asked would you like me to tell you about girls who text me? Does it make you feel good to hear that stuff? I didn't even really feel like fucking her. But, she said she's just so into me and that she doesn't know what she is to me. She wants to be my gf blah blah. We had good sex she came super hard but eh I am thinking this is a warning sign. I don't think I want to go down the GF route again. So maybe cut it off? Funny though, because if HB was gone, I probably would be all over this. Trying to mentally distance though and thinking just replace is better route. Normally I would just give in. Will see comfy girl tonight to take mind off this and just have a nice chill no-stress night. She misses me, I like that. 8.5.5 8.5.5 |
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Post by JackZero on Dec 2, 2020 19:00:46 GMT
Just going round for sex isn't really going to cut it longer term. You are going to need to start taking her out places. A meal out or a fun activity will work for a change of scenery. Yep, I am not against that. Logistically difficult with her work schedule but I agree. I am going to see if there are some nice places around hers where we can do like sushi or something. We discussed cooking together when she has more free time (we had to order in last time instead of cook idea because of her work). It is like the hard part was the easiest and now working backwards. I also have to balance not being needy with her. Last night I texted her just checking in tried a little nice message to brighten her day something about hope she's killing work and was just thinking about your amazing face and it put a a huge smile on mine type thing. Then kept it chill and told her about my day (we text like 1x every day or two). She texted a couple hours later per usual but she said how worked until 4am day before (sucks lol) but I think she was happy to hear from me. I waited a couple hours and kept it cool and not pressing but said hopefully if things aren't too crazy busy we can do another amazing evening maybe Saturday night - something amazing to look forward to . I think this is the best way to deal with her for now and kind of let her let me know when can hang, so far it's worked. Slowly and surely. Update on other wealthy girl - I ignored for a day after she passed out on our plans. She called me from a different number and everything and was crying for messing up our evening the other day. Because I am into HB, this semi-HB is not as attractive to me, but is the more reliable girl at this point. So I went over to her place - she was super excited to see me, made me a card for bailing, bought dinner, and got some toy at the sex shop. She did some weird jealousy stuff though - told me this guy was texting her for months and won't stop. She made sure I knew. She let me know she went to a store where this guy she used to fuck worked. I still played it cool, and asked would you like me to tell you about girls who text me? Does it make you feel good to hear that stuff? I didn't even really feel like fucking her. But, she said she's just so into me and that she doesn't know what she is to me. She wants to be my gf blah blah. We had good sex she came super hard but eh I am thinking this is a warning sign. I don't think I want to go down the GF route again. So maybe cut it off? Funny though, because if HB was gone, I probably would be all over this. Trying to mentally distance though and thinking just replace is better route. Normally I would just give in. Will see comfy girl tonight to take mind off this and just have a nice chill no-stress night. She misses me, I like that. 8.5.5 8.5.5 "I jumped into a few relationships too early and ended up trying to save those relationships for the sake of saving the relationship. Now I want to take my time and make sure we work together before making things official. I like what we have right now and let's build on that without needing a title yet." |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 2, 2020 19:03:57 GMT
Just heard back from HB re my Sat night idea - "Yes I love that idea but after how last weekend went I really don't want to commit to anything! I have no idea how much work I'll have to do Saturday night. Maybe let's just play it by ear?" So, normally I would probably take this as a rejection, but truth is last Saturday she ended up working while I was there and our fun portions didn't start until like midnight (even though I came around 9). We had been doing 11:30pm but that is so damn late. Not sure best way to respond without seeming needy but where we actually still get together. Just make other plans and blow it? Or say something like yeah no worries, just let me know a little closer - I enjoy our time and understand, blah blah. Fine line new situation, so don't want to mess it up. Ha if she didn't work so much would think just has another date or something. I have the benefit of the rotation but also don't want to let tooo much time go by between seeing this one. 8.5.5 |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 2, 2020 23:20:26 GMT
Just heard back from HB re my Sat night idea - "Yes I love that idea but after how last weekend went I really don't want to commit to anything! I have no idea how much work I'll have to do Saturday night. Maybe let's just play it by ear?" So, normally I would probably take this as a rejection, but truth is last Saturday she ended up working while I was there and our fun portions didn't start until like midnight (even though I came around 9). We had been doing 11:30pm but that is so damn late. Not sure best way to respond without seeming needy but where we actually still get together. Just make other plans and blow it? Or say something like yeah no worries, just let me know a little closer - I enjoy our time and understand, blah blah. Fine line new situation, so don't want to mess it up. Ha if she didn't work so much would think just has another date or something. I have the benefit of the rotation but also don't want to let tooo much time go by between seeing this one. 8.5.5 Update: Eh I wrote back a few hours later: Ha yeah that's fine! Something nice to look forward to and if get everything done and it's freer than normal, it might be real fun for us to actually try cooking haha (but just hanging having a few drinks is always great too) So hopefully the cooking thing would be a way to get to know each other a little better if going places is hard to do because of her work. She wrote back like a min later "Yes! if I'm free early enough then cooking dinner would be amazing (heart smiley face thing)" Lol so seems she's down, just weird keeping it going with nothing to really go on but tidbits I learn from the limited interactions haha in my head its almost like who the fuck am I fucking so I am sure she feels same way (but maybe she's into it). 8.5.5 |
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Post by siliconmagician on Dec 3, 2020 2:17:50 GMT
I have the benefit of the rotation but also don't want to let tooo much time go by between seeing this one.
Nor should you. After a few good sexual trysts, Oxytocin bonding should be strong enough that you shouldn't have to really worry about playing the "unavailable" game unless you really feel threatened. If you really like her, you should spend time with her because if you are actively screwing and you don't provide proper time management with her, she'll think you aren't really into her. LOl my problem is always after I bang a girl a few times, I consider things done and start moving on looking for the next lay because they do things that annoy me. Maybe talk to much, or talk about things that annoy me, or want to talk about "feelings" all the time. Which can really lead to some hurt feelings because they want to spend MORE time with me and I end up spending much less naturally. It's a vicious cycle. Try not to overthink it too much. I've tried all kinds of tricks. Reserving Friday and Saturday for pick up and only seeing them on "off" nights. My main MO is to keep them to two nights a week maximum. But then they start to question why I'm never available on a Friday or Saturday night or why I won't take them to certain places, etc. Management can be a pain in the ass for real. |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 3, 2020 17:35:44 GMT
I have the benefit of the rotation but also don't want to let tooo much time go by between seeing this one.
Nor should you. After a few good sexual trysts, Oxytocin bonding should be strong enough that you shouldn't have to really worry about playing the "unavailable" game unless you really feel threatened. If you really like her, you should spend time with her because if you are actively screwing and you don't provide proper time management with her, she'll think you aren't really into her. LOl my problem is always after I bang a girl a few times, I consider things done and start moving on looking for the next lay because they do things that annoy me. Maybe talk to much, or talk about things that annoy me, or want to talk about "feelings" all the time. Which can really lead to some hurt feelings because they want to spend MORE time with me and I end up spending much less naturally. It's a vicious cycle. Try not to overthink it too much. I've tried all kinds of tricks. Reserving Friday and Saturday for pick up and only seeing them on "off" nights. My main MO is to keep them to two nights a week maximum. But then they start to question why I'm never available on a Friday or Saturday night or why I won't take them to certain places, etc. Management can be a pain in the ass for real. haha that is what I am used to my man, sex = them developing the relationship. I have the hard part down pretty well (seemingly), but it's the working backwards is the challenge. That is why she is a trip - no games, no neediness, throws me off. It is her who legit works all the time, I would prefer to see her a couple times a week but it's just whenever she has some time rather than her chasing. Career oriented type. I mean obviously I like the sex, but some girls you just like being around more than others - just more stuff clicks in addition to the sex. Looks like with her it is going to be a play everything by ear thing and all the fun is saved for in person. Hopefully it doesn't fade. On the other hand, not really enough time to get mad at her or know her too much to be annoyed. I just want to keep her thinking I am interested while also not being needy. It is new for me to be in this type of relationship - super sexual fun when see each other, but basically rare contact outside of that lol. But also, internally, I am just used to seeing someone I am having sex with more often and being bombarded by them talking to me. So in my mind, going a week or two without seeing someone feels completely different than it would to someone like her who is probably used to it and working all the time. That is something I just need to remind myself. I also need to add some more HBs to the rotation and let it play out. 8.5.5 |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 3, 2020 19:02:06 GMT
Nor should you. After a few good sexual trysts, Oxytocin bonding should be strong enough that you shouldn't have to really worry about playing the "unavailable" game unless you really feel threatened. If you really like her, you should spend time with her because if you are actively screwing and you don't provide proper time management with her, she'll think you aren't really into her. LOl my problem is always after I bang a girl a few times, I consider things done and start moving on looking for the next lay because they do things that annoy me. Maybe talk to much, or talk about things that annoy me, or want to talk about "feelings" all the time. Which can really lead to some hurt feelings because they want to spend MORE time with me and I end up spending much less naturally. It's a vicious cycle. Try not to overthink it too much. I've tried all kinds of tricks. Reserving Friday and Saturday for pick up and only seeing them on "off" nights. My main MO is to keep them to two nights a week maximum. But then they start to question why I'm never available on a Friday or Saturday night or why I won't take them to certain places, etc. Management can be a pain in the ass for real. haha that is what I am used to my man, sex = them developing the relationship. I have the hard part down pretty well (seemingly), but it's the working backwards is the challenge. That is why she is a trip - no games, no neediness, throws me off. It is her who legit works all the time, I would prefer to see her a couple times a week but it's just whenever she has some time rather than her chasing. Career oriented type. I mean obviously I like the sex, but some girls you just like being around more than others - just more stuff clicks in addition to the sex. Looks like with her it is going to be a play everything by ear thing and all the fun is saved for in person. Hopefully it doesn't fade. On the other hand, not really enough time to get mad at her or know her too much to be annoyed. I just want to keep her thinking I am interested while also not being needy. It is new for me to be in this type of relationship - super sexual fun when see each other, but basically rare contact outside of that lol. But also, internally, I am just used to seeing someone I am having sex with more often and being bombarded by them talking to me. So in my mind, going a week or two without seeing someone feels completely different than it would to someone like her who is probably used to it and working all the time. That is something I just need to remind myself. I also need to add some more HBs to the rotation and let it play out. 8.5.5 Hmm, wouldn't let me edit my post - but basically it comes down to getting comfortable with not texting her everyday (like I am used to) while also simultaneously keeping it going. That is the challenge. Like send a nice little text every day or just ignore until closer to anticipated hang out? 8.5.5 |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 3, 2020 19:38:03 GMT
Lol here's a good example of how she is. So she writes to me today - I haven't texted her since yesterday. She probably feels same way about not knowing when to text, etc. Maybe it's exciting for her. But this is what I am dealing with: If we have time on Saturday we could stop by [Restaurant she likes] and pick up ingredients to make my favorite chicken. And we could get tiramisu or something for desert. Totally dependent on my schedule though." See that added line, so she's interested but it's def competing with her work which is something I def don't want to be an issue, but I think it may be. Ha maybe I should just eject and reset the whole rotation haha but yeah, so this looks like it might get annoying with her schedule. I will respond something chill though like: sounds good! No pressure at all I am happy doing whatever with you Eh but maybe I am not even that into it now - weird, maybe I only want what I can't have.... lol as siliconmagician was saying, now maybe this is just her annoying me with the schedule thing and I should say NEXT! I am practicing the whole Haywood give women nothing, they love nothing - one of the rotation girls asked me if I was sleeping in because I didn't text her at all this morning (I said no working...) she followed up about how her friend is cleaning her sheets with her, the ones we got dirty blah blah; the one I saw last night already begging me to come over tonight and saying things like can't stop thinking about me today, wants to fuck. lol so who knows, seems this is the best balance. They all are anchoring it into sexual things. 8.5.5 8.5.5 |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 6, 2020 19:54:23 GMT
So got together with HB last night. She texted me in the morning she had to work since 7:30 am and was looking forward to seeing me at night. Kept me updated throughout day every few hours and tehn we finally got together around 9. That said, not sure how to process this really. Well she was super excited to see me, let me know she was going to the store to grab food stuff for one of her favorite dishes. It was amazing, she cooked a great steak meal for her and I, amazing appetizers, great wine. She was dressed all sexy, gave me an amazing kiss when I get there. Honestly, everything I could ever ask for. Well, so things get kind of interesting. Side note, guy calls her while I am there and it is a legit work call, I hear the whole call. They are working on something. Then more work ha sucks her life really does revolve around work. So we have our amazing dinner then I got back to the couch and watch some boxing (she's into sports) and she makes me a drink and moves back and forth between working on her computer and sitting with me, kisses etc. She is soaked through her panties, I play with her a bit then she fnally she finishes working around 12 (I had gotten there around 9). But, a couple things that are new and kind of fucking with me mentally. She says how the deal she's working on will be done in like a little over a week. But for the first time she says something like she thinks she is going to goto Florida for a month when she's done so she can go out again (she's not digging the lock down). I didn't act need nor even really respond. OK we are chatting again shooting the shit sipping while touching each other and stuff. She knows I have been to Amsterdam before and asks me if I did anything there, leads to discussion about a prostitute lol. I told her I did and she was into it, she wanted me to describe what it was like, etc. At the end I kind of spun it around and said you know what I think the prostitute should of been paying me, seeing she got to get an amazing lay and great convo with me vs all the other guys she prob slept with. HB thinks that's funny but blurts out I am not going to pay you. Obv I was joking and had not been thinking of it in that way at all lol but then she also says she always gets dinner and drinks etc. This is all said in a funny way not anything serious. She asks what the prositute looks like and I describe her but I tell HB I think you're prettier. I pick up on that HB thinks her skin is silky smooth, she said it twice about her legs in the last two times I have seen her. I rub it and agree. I tell her her tits are pretty amazing too, and she says something like you are a pretty lucky guy. So she knows she's hot but I just didn't want to keep negging because clearly we have fucked multiple times. I kind of build her ego a little after usually never doing that. While she's kissing my neck she says how good I smell, I tell her she must have good taste (though she mishears and says you do have good taste to me), I say so do you. Anyway we are talking and stuff she sees us as part of the group that made it despite not going to an ivy league school like her colleagues. Weird random flow of convo but it makes sense in the context. Also we are talking some more and she mentions shes going to be moving to Shanghai probably in Feb. That was a bit of a shocker, but again I kind of play it cool though that revelation was like a shock to my system when I was in an amazing mood. She just mentions it casually and says her time here is limited. I do some push and pulling until she basically rips my clothes off and do not discuss the topic at all - I just say lets not think about that. Anyway, amazing sex follows then some like cock worship stuff - basically if I wasn't addicted already to her, that was the next level. We stay in bed together she's in my arms and just feels amazing - she loves holding on to me too. I tell her I need to go at around 3am and she needs to get some sleep for her big day today (she has calls on Sunday for work, wtf). Well, FUCK. Not sure what to do, start mentally distancing or enjoy. Now that she said that shit about moving, it is stuck in my head. The way she acts is not like someone that would be moving but also I have no idea how she can so easily get over it if she does. Maybe I am missing that she was trying to get me to committ in some way. Really strange stuff, never dealt with a woman who has everything together like her but also on the otherhand she had my flowers sitting on her table and complimented them. She must have some capacity for love but who knows. Really different for me, but of course I don't want to get hurt (yes I have feelings too). LOL I don't know how to play it. Saving grace potentially is having the rotation or I would be pretty heartbroken (even though she didn't say anything like we should stop seeing each other or anything). A few new girls who I had given numbers and texted finally texted me yesterday night while I was with her. The wealthy writer one called me like 3x while I was with her... and I have a couple other prospects I will attempt to maximize. Just the truth is HB is top notch and this revelation was a pretty big shock. Though, maybe she has a bf or something I have no idea about since she always is working and has never once asked me to come over to my place or really all that much about me. 8.5.5 |
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Dec 7, 2020 0:31:12 GMT
She's basically said you are just a fuck buddy. Be a man about it. Enjoy your time together and part on good terms. These career driven women have needs and you have done her a service. Your rotation has enabled this. If you feel you are catching feelings, then its time to end it and walk away.
Controlling your feelings seems to be a sticking point of yours and it takes time to control them, but you are heading in the right direction. You are a lucky guy for getting a ride on here and she knows it, but you know what, there are always more where she came from.
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 7, 2020 18:04:29 GMT
She's basically said you are just a fuck buddy. Be a man about it. Enjoy your time together and part on good terms. These career driven women have needs and you have done her a service. Your rotation has enabled this. If you feel you are catching feelings, then its time to end it and walk away. Controlling your feelings seems to be a sticking point of yours and it takes time to control them, but you are heading in the right direction. You are a lucky guy for getting a ride on here and she knows it, but you know what, there are always more where she came from. Ha yes definitely a sticking point. Very different experience from what I am used to for sure; non-needy and just a total package minus the emotional support/constant messaging (which actually means she has her shit together pretty well). I think that raises the issue of balancing emotions and defining what we want. I know the general consensus is let the woman bring up the defining of the relationship and from that create a definition. But, like in this case, it just is lingering and neither of us has even attempted to define it. I guess the issue that it makes me think of is when can we let our guards down, when can we just be honest that we are into the girl if we have already fucked and they have shown they are into you? Or, can we never let it down as it will only backfire? Like with her, fucked, makes me dinner, went out of way for me by getting food and spending time away from her constant work. But, I noticed she was getting progressively cockier as I complimented just the slightest - but at same time, I wanted to show I did appreciate what she does. It's like a catch-22. I am very grateful for the ride though on a personal level - I think I have made great progress from where I was 6 months ago. Being ridden by an amazing HB who will try anything sexually while also having all of her shit together, is truly a dream-like experience. Of course, sucks that it will end. Trying to minimize the impact is has on my rotation, but the effects are real. Yesterday, didn't hear from HB at all. I didn't text or anything either. Chubby rotation girl begged me to hang out we did. But, she could tell something was off and mentioned it a few times. I chocked it up to the drink I was having, but not hearing from HB and processing the fact of her limited time here was obv the real reason. We went back to her place and she took off her shirt to get more comfortable and just had a lingere bra thing on. We watched a movie and I sucked and played with her tits a bit but eh wasn't feeling sexual. Self sabotaged myself and left, told her first thing next time we will fuck. Sucks, at one point felt like just tearing it all down and restarting a brand new rotation as if the HB was the anchor of this one, and it is time to re-do it all over again. Rotation girl, the writer, also was asking me to hang out yesterday. I told her maybe Tuesday. She is sensing something is off too. She said ok but can we please hang out more than just one time per week, at least two would be ideal she said. She offered to get cable sports channels (she knows I like sports) to make sure I have a fun time with her. (Ironically, if I didn't stop myself I would probably be acting like this towards HB). She's really sensitive though, cries and stuff when she thinks I am mad at her. Because of how I am feeling about HB, kind of just texted her sparingly and let her know we will hang this week and that's very nice of her. I texted a few new ones and trying to hopefully get a stream of a couple that actually meet and can set up as a new rotation girl at the least or maybe just revamp all 3. We will see. If anything, hopefully minimizes psychological impact of HB. I am shocked that she can take it so easily though also - or maybe she can't and is why she wanted me to know her time is limited. 8.5.5 8.5.5 |
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Post by flyingbanana on Dec 30, 2020 21:11:57 GMT
Update on this one. So, the HB went to Miami the day after our last night together - about 11 days ago. That night was fantastic, banged 3 times amazing great night. She sent me a kiss face text too when I texted her that I had gotten home. Ok, so I send her a text the day she flew out - the next day she let me know she made it and had passed out like at 8:30. Since then complete silence - I sent a couple texts, one right after she sent me the passing out at 830 one asking her what she has planned on the agenda and then another on xmas eve saying how shitty the weather is where I am and that I am sure she is laying on a beach enjoying the rays. No response to either. Again, not super strange for her and I to go a few days without texting - but this is the longest. Obviously she got them. I didn't send a merry xmas but neither did she. I probably shouldn't send a happy new year one either, but what do you think? She had mentioned on the last night that instead of going for a month she was going just through New Year and her family was meeting her down there. Ha no idea how to process it, but unfortunately saw the 4.5 year ex on a dating app - so my mind has kind of been in a funk. I still have the other 2 rotation girls but the pleasure isn't the same since I saw the ex on the app. Sorry if this sounds like me being a "baby" or something, but this is how I feel and it is affecting my mood. The wealthy writer woman last night was so happy to see me and said our sex was fantastic and got really mad when I said it was good like usual - she expected me to say it was super amazing. She could tell something was up with me. The other rotation girl, the chubby, echoed similar statements last time we saw each other about seems like I am stressed or going through something. Part of me thinks the ex targeted me with the app and made sure to use the picture I had asked her never to put on there...
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Dec 31, 2020 22:10:33 GMT
Why did you reach and text her while on Holiday? That came from a place of neediness and she sensed it. When a girl goes away for a few weeks, don't bother them and let them enjoy themselves and reachout for a hookup when they are back, but from a place of "I'm gonna give you the best sex ever after a few weeks apart". She is not your partner so has no real obligation to worry about you while she is away with family. A fuck buddy has no reason to hit her up while she is away, as you can't fuck her anyway.
As we talked about, this could end at any time as soon as you are no longer flavour of the month.
Man, I get deployed to places and hardly hear from women I am seeing maybe around 4-6 conversations over a 4 month period.
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Post by Alex Penn on Dec 8, 2023 14:50:54 GMT
First off, take a breath. You've stepped up your game, pulling in different leagues. That's progress, champ.
But here's the kicker – with new territory comes new head games. You're battling internal thoughts, trying not to seem needy while also not understanding her deal. It's a headspin, I get it.
Now, that mental block when things get steamy? Booze can mess with that. Relax, don't overthink it. Blame it on the drinks, not your history.
About her being busy? You gotta align expectations. She's not the hang-all-the-time type. Adjust without taking it personally, alright? Game teaches a lot, but it's not a one-size-fits-all.
Remember, she's into you, so chill on overanalyzing every text.
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type thing. Then kept it chill and told her about my day (we text like 1x every day or two). She texted a couple hours later per usual but she said how worked until 4am day before (sucks lol) but I think she was happy to hear from me. I waited a couple hours and kept it cool and not pressing but said hopefully if things aren't too crazy busy we can do another amazing evening maybe Saturday night - something amazing to look forward to 
. I think this is the best way to deal with her for now and kind of let her let me know when can hang, so far it's worked. Slowly and surely. 
