starry
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 5
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Post by starry on Apr 5, 2021 18:00:24 GMT
Hello. I am a newbie from Hong Kong. I am stuck in the friend zone with a girl for quite a while. Is there still any chance to get out of it? If yes, how? There used to be a few IoIs on a couple of occasions, but I missed the chances.
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Post by JackZero on Apr 5, 2021 18:48:04 GMT
The answer is maybe. Perhaps you can give some more detail on how you ended up in this situation. I'd want to know how you met and how you ended up in the friend zone.
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Post by N2thevoid on Apr 5, 2021 20:50:54 GMT
Always possible. As Jack asked give us some context.
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oneoff
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 25
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Post by oneoff on Apr 7, 2021 2:57:02 GMT
Sure you can it's not impossible.
So to help guide you let me ask some questions. I'm an RSD instructor btw, well the company formally known as rsd since it's sung it's swan song.
Anyway. Answer these:
Where did you meet her. When did you meet her. How often are you all in contact & under what context (you calling her first, her reaching out to you, social groups with friends etc)
So with this there are some things you can do but the territory that you're playing on plays a factor with how you go about this. If she's just a random girl you met that isn't part of a social or business context such as a work colleague or a girl you go to class with and will see frequently then you have more flexibility with risk taking.
If it's a situation where you have to be aware of your reputation and take into consideration continued interactions with her in the future then you have to be more delicate with the situation.
A general overarching strategy in either situation would be you meet with her at an event with other people there. Including other females. From There you do comfort building stuff with little spikes of attraction but very little and you do these with every other woman there. You just spend a little more time with her. Then from there it's just basic vibing game stuff and pulling discreetly. Build up her buying temperature and give her some excuse to leave with you. Like checking out the fish aquarium back at your place. It doesn't matter.
Since she friend zoned you it's all about building attraction at this point. The friend zone is a great place to be because you're in a position to build attraction. She might not have felt it for you before because you did something unattractive but you can always spark it if you have extended periods of time with a woman.
This falls into your game IQ at that point and your understanding of social dynamics. Avoiding unattractive behavior, being a challenge and having some authority.
It'd be very complicated to break all of this down, and your particular style should be very unique to your core personality, humor, values/belief systems, and the logistics you can set up.
There are hour long courses on this stuff. RSD content is being retired, most shit you can't buy online anymore but there's other stuff out there for you to study.
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starry
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 5
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Post by starry on Apr 8, 2021 21:22:57 GMT
The answer is maybe. Perhaps you can give some more detail on how you ended up in this situation. I'd want to know how you met and how you ended up in the friend zone. We first met each other in a business networking event. We then went for a coffee and some social events, like friends gatherings and wine tasting. We had nice chat and very natrually exchanged our own stories. For a couple of times, we had some body contact (like she brushed her breast and hand against me while we were walking together). Later, for several times, she invited me to her studio and gave me facial treatments for my allergic skin (only she and I in the studio) as she is in the skin care industry, during which we kept chatting. I don't think she wants business from me as she did not charge me for such treatments. I did buy some products from her but the money amount was very small. The thing is, every time, she either went for another event or met up her boy friend after the facial treatments or the social events with me, which made me feel that I won't have a chance to go further with her.
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starry
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 5
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Post by starry on Apr 8, 2021 21:32:20 GMT
Thanks for your advice.
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starry
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 5
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Post by starry on Apr 8, 2021 21:38:45 GMT
Thank you for your advice. How to build attraction and what are the examples of unattractive behaviours? I think I have given her good impression. What should I do to let her associate our relationship with sex or suggest it to her?
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starry
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 5
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Post by starry on Apr 8, 2021 21:40:49 GMT
Is it due to my mindset? How can I change it?
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Post by curtis72 on Apr 8, 2021 22:18:47 GMT
The answer is maybe. Perhaps you can give some more detail on how you ended up in this situation. I'd want to know how you met and how you ended up in the friend zone. We first met each other in a business networking event. We then went for a coffee and some social events, like friends gatherings and wine tasting. We had nice chat and very natrually exchanged our own stories. For a couple of times, we had some body contact (like she brushed her breast and hand against me while we were walking together). Later, for several times, she invited me to her studio and gave me facial treatments for my allergic skin (only she and I in the studio) as she is in the skin care industry, during which we kept chatting. I don't think she wants business from me as she did not charge me for such treatments. I did buy some products from her but the money amount was very small. The thing is, every time, she either went for another event or met up her boy friend after the facial treatments or the social events with me, which made me feel that I won't have a chance to go further with her. Probably not because of said boyfriend. It is what it is. I've no personal experience with how you'd get a girl who has a boyfriend though, so can't offer much. From my experience though knowing women and guys who have, your best bet would probably be to try and invite her around with some semi formal excuse (skin care treatment?) so "it just happened" TM and so you're not verbalising your attraction like "Do you wanna grab a pint" where she'll respond she has a bf and more likely to stay congruent to this. You consider yourself friendzoned, so don't want a friendship and don't have anything to lose if she flips her shit when you touch her up or make a move.
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Post by curtis72 on Apr 8, 2021 22:22:28 GMT
So to paraphrase, it's about getting her in the "moment" when things can happen. That won't be at a studio or public and she likely won't come around unless you give a reason, so gentle touches, teasing etc.
Tbh I would say the issue is your mindset. I'd say you're making threads on a woman with a bf who you haven't made a move on. I think you need to talk to more women.
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Apr 8, 2021 23:51:36 GMT
A lot of women monkey branch. Even if their relationship is going well, they like to have potential back ups, and you won't be the only backup.
You can keep it flirty with her, but don't go all in. Make yourself the better option, and If you start hearing that things at home are not all that rosey, then you can ramp up the sexual tension, so you are that sexually attractive backup option.
However, how you are seen by this woman is important and goes back to how you came across when you first met, and if you haven't made any moves to at least show you are a man with sexual intentions, and instead just shown that you are a nice guy, flipping into a sexual frame will probably creep her out, as in her mind, it's out of character for you. If that's the case, ships sailed, and it's frienzone forever, or cut her off and forget.
Sometimes it's good to have women in the chicktionary who are spoken for, as associates but at arms length, but important not to get too close to them on a platonic level. You can then use social media such as Instagram and Snapchat to advertise your fun and exciting life, without even having to say a word to her. At the same time, you can be dating other women, which in turn will make you more desirable. In turn, if she does like you and is bored in her current relationship, she will hit you up and show interest, and then you make your move.
Also bear this in mind. Some women like other men in their life to provide for their emotional needs, that many alpha men will not provide as its simply not attractive. So they have a guy who fancies the pants off her who provides her with emotional support, and her bf who looks after No1, gets her wet night after night and takes her to bang town.
I see a women just like this at the moment. She lives with a guy in a house, separate rooms, and provides her with everything she needs in life but she simply is not attracted to him but considers him her rock. Meanwhile, she has other men round, most of which are bad boys who she is attracted too, but are not relationship material. This works for me at the moment, due to military commitments so I can't settle down, so it's no strings fun with no expectations other than just a good time.
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Post by JackZero on Apr 9, 2021 0:11:06 GMT
I have a follow-up question on your situation, OP:
When the girl that friend zoned you took notice of you, were you getting the attention of other women at the time? I'm pretty sure a few of the other guys know where I'm going with this.
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Post by curtis72 on Apr 9, 2021 9:06:30 GMT
Maybe it’s just me, but why deal with girls in relationships? Seems more hassle than it’s worth, as there’s going to be drama and you can’t objectively trust her to be faithful, I assume you’re after something long term hence the reason for the post
If you’re banging a girl from the club I wouldn’t care if she had a bf (not that she’d tell me).
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Apr 9, 2021 13:58:58 GMT
Maybe it’s just me, but why deal with girls in relationships? Seems more hassle than it’s worth, as there’s going to be drama and you can’t objectively trust her to be faithful, I assume you’re after something long term hence the reason for the post If you’re banging a girl from the club I wouldn’t care if she had a bf (not that she’d tell me). I think now, more and more women with the Tinder culture especially if they are desirable typically branch from one relationship to the other, while emotionally ending the current one some time ago but not leaving them until there is a better option. What I am advocating is to just become an option for them and leave it at that (so they can view your insta, Snapchat etc at their leisure). However I would agree not to pursue them past that point if they make it clear that they have a boyfriend. But if like you, you chose to not get involved with monkey branchers, that totally fine, you just reduce the dating pool and filter out the needy ones.
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Post by N2thevoid on Apr 11, 2021 16:02:30 GMT
Maybe it’s just me, but why deal with girls in relationships? Seems more hassle than it’s worth, as there’s going to be drama and you can’t objectively trust her to be faithful, I assume you’re after something long term hence the reason for the post If you’re banging a girl from the club I wouldn’t care if she had a bf (not that she’d tell me). I think now, more and more women with the Tinder culture especially if they are desirable typically branch from one relationship to the other, while emotionally ending the current one some time ago but not leaving them until there is a better option. What I am advocating is to just become an option for them and leave it at that (so they can view your insta, Snapchat etc at their leisure). However I would agree not to pursue them past that point if they make it clear that they have a boyfriend. But if like you, you chose to not get involved with monkey branchers, that totally fine, you just reduce the dating pool and filter out the needy ones. And with that last point it’s important to figure out what you might want with this person. If a LTR is what you’re seeking, you might be barking up the wrong tree. Needy begets needy. If her feeling “bored” is enough for her to decide she will put herself in a situation she can’t say no to, is this the sort of person you want to build something with...as at some point she will likely experience the same with you, and you’ll be constantly wondering what she’s doing on her phone...
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