How does a guy LIKE ME fit in?

[rest02]

I have been living under a rock for so many years, that honestly speaking I don't think I am hip at all. Even though I'm 28 I don't listen to any music that people in their 20s listen to, for example. I'm afraid that if I approach some young, good-looking people, (Type of very hip people who were apart of the popular clique at high school), that they will just laugh at me and tell me off. To be honest I don't even know what to speak to them about. I don't know how the heck I could relate to them, or level with them. Fuck...

As far as my desires. I want to be around the hot chicks, I want to be well-liked, but at the same time I feel like I don't belong in circles like that at all. I have no desire for tattoos, don't drink, don't smoke marijuana, haven't been to a party since 2011, haven't had sex since 2011. I'm a loner-nerd basically. I sense that I'm a different species from everyone else. And yet I have no interest in nerdy people either, because they're too boring to me. Hate to say it but I feel like I'm fucking Elliot Roger. (Don't want to kill anyone though!!! Want to make that clear.)

Can loners even be accepted by these "cool kid" cliques? I've tried hanging out with them in the past but they merely pretended to be my friends just so they could use me as a clown for their own comic relief.

I don't know how the fuck I'm going to fit in.

I saw a Billboard Magazine cover with Justin Beiber on it recently, and I could try to dress cool like him, talk cool like him, and act cool like him, but it wouldn't be "right". They'd probably see through the act. Man I'm so confused.

[GFRESH2DEF]

First of all..welcome to the forum.



You can be your own success story, but really be prepared, to do the hard work that lies ahead. You're going to have to take it very seriously, and prepare to be in it for the long haul. Rome wasn't built overnight..no strong empire ever was (not any that i know of). And since you are coming from a very low place socially..you're gonna have to accept the fact, that it's gonna be a rough climb uphill, and that it's gonna take you some time. But you will get there, and it will be worth it in the end. And you're gonna have to make some sacrifices along the way, and little daily (everyday) improvements on yourself. And the more consistent and disciplined that you are, with your improvements on yourself..the sooner that you will get to where you want to be in your life (and with girls). And the same way that you wish, that the cool kids should humble themselves, and keep an open mind about you..you're going to have to humble yourself, and keep and open mind about what we will be telling you to do. And last but not least..comparing your success and results, to other peoples' success and results..probably won't help you that much. Because they may be coming into the game, with alot more advantages than you have. And they may not have to work nearly as hard, as you will have to, to get the same results. So it will be pointless for you to compare yourself to other poeple. But if you compare yourself to yourself..you can always become a more improved version of yourself..than you were yesterday. We know and understand the struggle (alot of us have been in a similar place, to where you are right now..i know that i have)..and we are here for you. We're here to help. 



-G

[oneoff]

That's pretty wild man. But also normal. I talk to guys like you everyday. Talked to one today matter of fact.

There's a lot of stuff that you need to unpack and really flesh out. For instance if you want to be more hip you'll have to educate yourself on things that are hip. Start following different publications, or twitter and instagram accounts that have influencers or ones that talk about influencers so you're aware of who the players are that are hot right now.

Go to clubs and listen to what music is being played and use kazam to figure out who the artists are and start listening to some of their stuff. Etc.

Now that being said game has many facets. The stuff I mentioned earlier would be if you're attempting to get involved in social circles.

You don't need to be aware of a lot of that stuff for straight up game. You need to have a bare minimum understanding of the girls reality, and then you focus more on pulling her into your world and getting her to react to you vs becoming a social chameleon.

[GFRESH2DEF]

Okay, so you already know what to do, and how it's done. So all you have to do now is..put your money where your mouth is..go out into the field, and get it done. Report back your findings.



-G

[vagabond]

Hrmm,
Yeah, I agree with G2, there is only going out and doing the things you want to do really (as long as you don't hurt anyone doing it)

In terms of your being cool, dude, get it out of your head that there is a hierarchy of cool and not cool. You are too old to think like that.
If you have any interests at all then you're cool as fuck in my books, too many people out there that have nothing going on with their lives in terms of interest or things that they are passionate about. If you have anything you're passionate about, lean into that, don't reject it for this false dichotomy of what is 'cool' and 'not cool'.

Furthermore, if you feel like Elliot Rodger, listen up: He was made miserable by the fact that he put all of his stock in the wrong places. He was so desperate for validation he did nothing that actually warranted being validated. That's a toxic, self-fulfilling prophecy.Don't do that, don't be desperate for others to give you what for the most part you can only give yourself, other people's validation is only half the battle.

Being liked is not a case of wearing the right or wrong thing, or being the right or wrong person. It is being authentically you, not a needy version that is all to eager to please others.