Did i messed up?

[shark]

So this girl is my fiancee. For like 2 years now, we are in a distance relationship. We used to talk and have fun together and text pretty much every time. But since like 6 months now she is acting very weird, like being cold, taking longtime sometimes a day or two to respond to my texts or seeing them and not responding. And all this time I've been acting patient and aloof knowing that I should not chase her because its might be a lack of interest from her. So lately I decided to do the same thing to her. She sent me 2 texts and I didn't reply at all. We went like 2 weeks of no contact. Until this week my mum told me that she has to come to my city for a wedding and she will probably come home. She didn't call me or text me to tell me that. nothing. So today she came at home i said hi and asked her how she is doing and walked off. After hours my mum told her to come to talk to me and she came. She said hi and sat after few Seconds she said i sent you 2 messages and you didn't respond. I didn't reply to what she said, like nothing. We sat there for like 5 minutes i didn't say nothing, and then she went out. When she was going home she came and tell me im gone i said bye. And I'm wondering did I act too rude to her by not talking to her? Did I handled it right? She looked pissed when she came to say goodbye though. I don't know how to renitiate with her again!🙂 I like her!

[JackZero]

Aug 16, 2021 2:33:37 GMT shark said:

So this girl is my fiancee. For like 2 years now, we are in a distance relationship. We used to talk and have fun together and text pretty much every time. But since like 6 months now she is acting very weird, like being cold, taking longtime sometimes a day or two to respond to my texts or seeing them and not responding. And all this time I've been acting patient and aloof knowing that I should not chase her because its might be a lack of interest from her. So lately I decided to do the same thing to her. She sent me 2 texts and I didn't reply at all. We went like 2 weeks of no contact. Until this week my mum told me that she has to come to my city for a wedding and she will probably come home. She didn't call me or text me to tell me that. nothing. So today she came at home i said hi and asked her how she is doing and walked off. After hours my mum told her to come to talk to me and she came. She said hi and sat after few Seconds she said i sent you 2 messages and you didn't respond. I didn't reply to what she said, like nothing. We sat there for like 5 minutes i didn't say nothing, and then she went out. When she was going home she came and tell me im gone i said bye. And I'm wondering did I act too rude to her by not talking to her? Did I handled it right? She looked pissed when she came to say goodbye though. I don't know how to renitiate with her again!🙂 I like her!

How old are you? How old is she? Are you sure you are engaged?

[shark]

I'm 21 and she's 17. Yea its been 2 years now. But at first I handled the relationship very badly. I was pedastalizing her telling her I love her and bunch of other things. Now that I have enough knowledge I'm trying to fix it

[JackZero]

Aug 16, 2021 3:35:15 GMT shark said:

I'm 21 and she's 17. Yea its been 2 years now. But at first I handled the relationship very badly. I was pedastalizing her telling her I love her and bunch of other things. Now that I have enough knowledge I'm trying to fix it

I understand that you are trying to fix it.  I get that.  I was reading this as coming off really strange.  It boiled down to that she is either cheating on you or the two of you are really young.  That's why I asked your age.  Now I'm going to follow up my question with two more questions.  Why are you guys engaged at such a young age?  What region of the world are you in?  Knowing the answers to these questions will help with the answer I'm going to give you.

[shark]

We are engaged at this age because we are Muslims and our parents are too religious. We live in Africa. But is 21 young to be engaged? And how should I manage this relationship like a grown man because I know I'm young but not too young.

[JackZero]

If you lived in my country, then I would say that you were too young. However, if you are from a place where it is normal then you are not too young. However, both of your actions aren't mature. If this is your fiancé, you playing games shouldn't be your response to her being immature. Acting aloof and going no contact with the girl that you are engaged to isn't a proper response to the actions that you don't like. If you are establishing your relationship with your future wife, communicating with her is your tool. You should be telling her that you like her. You should be telling her that you expect responses when you text. You should be telling your fiancé that you should be hearing from her that she's going to be in town instead of from your mother. You are in a position of where you shouldn't be using some of these pickup tactics because you already have her.

I won't pretend to understand her and the way she's acting because I have no idea of what may be going through her mind. She is engaged and has been since 15 so there is a cultural difference that I have no experience with outside of her, from my perspective, behaving like a child. When you respond like a child to someone who is being childish, you are not showing that you have the ability to lead the relationship. Moving forward, my advice to you would be to pay attention to how you respond to her. Ask yourself if you are responding as a leader (that likes her) or are you responding like a child? The easy way to answer that question is if you are confident that she knows what you expect from her and she knows what to expect from you.