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Post by awfulthings on Dec 14, 2021 3:22:47 GMT
When I pick up girls I do good at first, in fact really good, but I don't have any experience in leading them. I'm not really, like, a leader by nature. I'm not a follower either. I'm just "me". I don't think like a leader. So this whole PUA mentality to me is really foreign. Not something I'm afraid of though. I'm eagrly learning this stuff.
So what I want to ask you guys is how do you develop that leader's intuition? My sticking point, my problem, is that ideas simply don't come to my mind of what to do next with a broad after the opening salvo of my approach. I can't come up with any program for her to follow. Don't really know what to do with her, besides fuck, i guess, lol. The next steps to take just do not come to my mind. There's got to be some sort of shift in my mentality or my behavior or my nature that would make me more of a leader (by nature)...Let me know if I am making sense to you guys.
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Post by JackZero on Dec 14, 2021 17:30:27 GMT
You're probably making it a bit bigger than it really is. Leading is just making your decision of what's going to happen next, following through with it, and if she's into you, she is going to go along. Imagine it like this. You're in a car with a girl and you want pasta. A guy that leads will pull up into an Italian restaurant, grab her by the hand, and they'd walk in. However, there are guys that would ask the girl if she wanted to eat, if they like pasta, if this restaurant is okay or would she prefer another one.
If your problem is what to do next after opening and she's showing interest, then the answer is let your environment help you with that answer. If you are shopping and she's showing interest but there are time restraints, you can pull out your phone and tell her to put in her number so the two of you can meet up later. A girl that's interested is going to follow your lead. A girl that's not interested is going to, more than likely, reject your offer.
If you're at a bar and you open a girl and she's interested and you want to leave with her, grab her by the hand and say "let's go." She will know what that means and if she's interested in what you are offering, she's going to leave with you.
Leadership is not being permission seeking (keep it legal though). Make the decision and let her follow. MOST girls that are interested in you will want to trust that you can make a decision. Being able to make a decision shows confidence. Being confident will make her want to follow you.
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Post by awfulthings on Dec 15, 2021 3:39:33 GMT
You're probably making it a bit bigger than it really is. Leading is just making your decision of what's going to happen next, following through with it, and if she's into you, she is going to go along. Imagine it like this. You're in a car with a girl and you want pasta. A guy that leads will pull up into an Italian restaurant, grab her by the hand, and they'd walk in. However, there are guys that would ask the girl if she wanted to eat, if they like pasta, if this restaurant is okay or would she prefer another one. If your problem is what to do next after opening and she's showing interest, then the answer is let your environment help you with that answer. If you are shopping and she's showing interest but there are time restraints, you can pull out your phone and tell her to put in her number so the two of you can meet up later. A girl that's interested is going to follow your lead. A girl that's not interested is going to, more than likely, reject your offer. If you're at a bar and you open a girl and she's interested and you want to leave with her, grab her by the hand and say "let's go." She will know what that means and if she's interested in what you are offering, she's going to leave with you. Leadership is not being permission seeking (keep it legal though). Make the decision and let her follow. MOST girls that are interested in you will want to trust that you can make a decision. Being able to make a decision shows confidence. Being confident will make her want to follow you. Ok I got it. But it brings up another problem of mine. I think my problem is that I have too much of an unsocial mentality. I did a good job of leading a few people in the army and in college when we were put into groups. But we had a mission back then. If I were to be with a woman I wouldn’t understand what our mission is. (I’m talking only about relationships right now not ONS). Right now I feel like my interactions with women have no point. There’s no program, no mission for us. In other words, I don’t understand what the point of having a woman is.
I hope I’m making sense to you guys. You see my life has always been about business or about just me. I’m a workaholic. Never had other people in my life because I never saw the point…I guess I never felt like I NEEDED to hang out with anyone, so I didn’t. Love also was never apart of my life. I have little clue as to what it is. It’s some kind of discovery that I haven’t made yet…lol I don’t know if this is the forum for these kinds of questions but I hope it’s alright lol…Thanks
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Wacker
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 85
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Post by Wacker on Dec 16, 2021 11:06:31 GMT
Don't be afraid to lose the girl that you are talking to. It makes you seem desperate. Somthing easy you can do after building some attraction in your interaction is to point somthing out and say "im going to go check that out, come with?" And then walk. Dont wait for a response. Dont look back to see if shes following. If you built up enough attraction they will follow. If they dont follow just continue onto the thing you pointed out. Look at it or whatever and return, or start talking with someone new. I personally dont like night game. So i usually cant just start a new conversation with someone that easily. So i make sure i see enough IOIs before i do this and make sure they are contributing to the conversation. Asking questions and stuff. Now go be a good little leader lol
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Post by JackZero on Dec 16, 2021 23:25:51 GMT
You're probably making it a bit bigger than it really is. Leading is just making your decision of what's going to happen next, following through with it, and if she's into you, she is going to go along. Imagine it like this. You're in a car with a girl and you want pasta. A guy that leads will pull up into an Italian restaurant, grab her by the hand, and they'd walk in. However, there are guys that would ask the girl if she wanted to eat, if they like pasta, if this restaurant is okay or would she prefer another one. If your problem is what to do next after opening and she's showing interest, then the answer is let your environment help you with that answer. If you are shopping and she's showing interest but there are time restraints, you can pull out your phone and tell her to put in her number so the two of you can meet up later. A girl that's interested is going to follow your lead. A girl that's not interested is going to, more than likely, reject your offer. If you're at a bar and you open a girl and she's interested and you want to leave with her, grab her by the hand and say "let's go." She will know what that means and if she's interested in what you are offering, she's going to leave with you. Leadership is not being permission seeking (keep it legal though). Make the decision and let her follow. MOST girls that are interested in you will want to trust that you can make a decision. Being able to make a decision shows confidence. Being confident will make her want to follow you. Ok I got it. But it brings up another problem of mine. I think my problem is that I have too much of an unsocial mentality. I did a good job of leading a few people in the army and in college when we were put into groups. But we had a mission back then. If I were to be with a woman I wouldn’t understand what our mission is. (I’m talking only about relationships right now not ONS). Right now I feel like my interactions with women have no point. There’s no program, no mission for us. In other words, I don’t understand what the point of having a woman is.
I hope I’m making sense to you guys. You see my life has always been about business or about just me. I’m a workaholic. Never had other people in my life because I never saw the point…I guess I never felt like I NEEDED to hang out with anyone, so I didn’t. Love also was never apart of my life. I have little clue as to what it is. It’s some kind of discovery that I haven’t made yet…lol I don’t know if this is the forum for these kinds of questions but I hope it’s alright lol…Thanks I think you have actually answered your own question. When you were in the military, your orders are given to you even if you are the one to lead your unit. You are given instructions on how to get it done. With women, you are the one that has to define what the mission is. If you don't understand what the point of having a woman then you have no reason to have a mission...especially if you are only talking about relationships. So the real question is why are you here? Why be on a pickup site if you are only here for potentially getting into a relationship but at the same time you don't understand the point of actually having a woman in your life?
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Post by awfulthings on Dec 17, 2021 6:25:52 GMT
So the real question is why are you here? Why be on a pickup site if you are only here for potentially getting into a relationship but at the same time you don't understand the point of actually having a woman in your life? I want to understand the essence of man uniting with woman. Obviously, there is a point to having a woman long-term, and from one angle you could say the point is to start a family, but that's too superficial there's got to be more to it than that. That's what I'm trying to find out. There's got to be a deep meaning to a man & woman's relationship. I'm going to look into that more. I'm picking up the implication that this forum isn't where that type of knowledge is found. That's alright I'll look in other places too.
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Post by JackZero on Dec 17, 2021 17:14:14 GMT
So the real question is why are you here? Why be on a pickup site if you are only here for potentially getting into a relationship but at the same time you don't understand the point of actually having a woman in your life? I want to understand the essence of man uniting with woman. Obviously, there is a point to having a woman long-term, and from one angle you could say the point is to start a family, but that's too superficial there's got to be more to it than that. That's what I'm trying to find out. There's got to be a deep meaning to a man & woman's relationship. I'm going to look into that more. I'm picking up the implication that this forum isn't where that type of knowledge is found. That's alright I'll look in other places too.
The point that I'm making is that it sticks out that you are looking for a relationship rather than an ONS and that's fine because we can help with that. I questioned why you would pick a relationship if you don't understand why you would actually want one? Why wouldn't you rather approach this from a more genuine place? How about trying to get to know women without setting expectations of a relationship and at the same time not pushing her into an ONS that will reduce your chances of it being able to reach the point of a relationship? If you don't know what you want, you can't come up with a plan to get there. You can't lead a woman if you don't know where you are going. If you want to understand the essence of a man uniting with a woman, then you have to learn to enjoy the company of a woman. You have to learn the qualities of a woman that you would want a relationship with. You have to figure out if you are actually a relationship type of guy. This is why I asked you the question concerning the reason that you are here. I wanted you to think about your answer so that we can actually help you properly. The answer of learning the essence of a man uniting with a woman is wasting your time if you don't know what you want from a woman. So we can understand you better, you mentioned that when you pick up girls, you do really good "at first". What does that mean? Do you get them to go out on a first date? Do they come home with you that night? Or do they just entertain a conversation for a few minutes?
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Dec 17, 2021 23:33:30 GMT
If your mentality is to find a relationship then it will never happen. First, get to know multiple women, even if its just platonic, to get used to communicating with them. You will also not be as pressured to pull as you are just meeting them for friends. Meanwhile, build up a social life. You have to have something about you, that can make you a sexual option.
After 15 years playing the field, moving route 1 into a relationship gives them all the power, and not where you need to be.
Meanwhile, date several women. You need to sleep with them a few times before they are attracted enough to pursue a relationship on your term's.. Make the best ones fight for you.
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