How do I proceed?

[Seducer237]

Hi, I've started going out and meeting girls and there's a girl whom I know (she's 3 years older than me) and has started to trust me a lot.

However, sometimes I feel that if I'm not careful from here I'll end up getting friend-zoned. She trusts me enough to share her personal problems with me and I also get help from her sometimes but nothing else.

I'm really cautious about this as I've been friend-zoned before in school and don't want it to happen again. How do I proceed from here?

Any advice would be valuable.

P.S. I'm not looking for a relationship here but rather to be in her mind's list of the guys that are capable of having great sex and not the guys that are 'just friends'(nice guys) for her.

[pilgrimmeister]

If she is sharing personal problems with you, then that's a red flag from the get go (refer to my broken women topic). You are in the friendzone, but she may falsely offer you hope if you help her fix those problems. I would tell her straight that you are not here to fix her problems, but give me a call if you are up for a fun day/night out at "******". If she is asking you for advice, she is expecting the honest hard truth, and not answers to make her feel better. With guys she has a attraction towards, she will want them to tell her what she wants to here to make her feel good about herself. She probally already has a fuckboy, and wants another guy(s) around to support her emotionally (orbiters).

Girls do not share their problems with potential partners, they want to impress them instead.

That said, there is no harm in having her around, but put more effort into finding other girls who don't tell you those problems. Also, to avoid the friendzone in future, show intent and drop them when they are not compliant. Then they have either have to fight for your attention and to plead forgiveness (a good sign) or just simply walk (means they were never interested anyway and you have saved your time).

Good luck out there.

[JackZero]

I agree wholeheartedly with pilgrim on this. It's solid advice on the red flag and how to proceed. The only thing that I would add is that you may be fighting an uphill battle on this ONE girl because the parameters of your interactions have already been established.

Now to the guys that are reading this after the fact. If you meet a girl and act like a friend, she's going to look at you as a friend. That's even when she knows that you are interested in her (orbiter). You will always get the best results when women see you as a sexual being. Women don't fantasize about the guy that listens to their problems. While she's telling you about that bitch in the next cubicle or unloads her emotions about her ex, she's likely going to be interested in a guy that isn't you. That guy doesn't care about what she went through today, her broken childhood, or how much her boss hates her. Because he doesn't care, she's going to present the part of herself that you don't get to see and that's the side that wants to be seduced.

Don't get me wrong, after about 6 or 7 guys run through her or she turns 35 then she'll finally see your value.

[curtis72]

Jan 6, 2022 0:06:24 GMT JackZero said:

Don't get me wrong, after about 6 or 7 guys run through her or she turns 35 then she'll finally see your value.

Lol what a line. Also as an aside does this stuff actually happen? I always thought that falling for your male BFF was a movie trope.

[pilgrimmeister]

Jan 7, 2022 16:35:09 GMT curtis72 said:

Jan 6, 2022 0:06:24 GMT JackZero said:

Don't get me wrong, after about 6 or 7 guys run through her or she turns 35 then she'll finally see your value.

Lol what a line. Also as an aside does this stuff actually happen? I always thought that falling for your male BFF was a movie trope.

It can happen, but usually it is where the guy was previously married/engaged/long term relationship, and at the time they met, he wasn't available. 

[JackZero]

Jan 7, 2022 16:35:09 GMT curtis72 said:

Jan 6, 2022 0:06:24 GMT JackZero said:

Don't get me wrong, after about 6 or 7 guys run through her or she turns 35 then she'll finally see your value.

Lol what a line. Also as an aside does this stuff actually happen? I always thought that falling for your male BFF was a movie trope.

I'm somewhat joking...somewhat.  A lot of these women that have above average options have guys that are willing to listen to their problems but they will usually go after me guys that generally won't want to hear about their personal issues during what is generally the honeymoon phase or won't ever want to hear them.  They'll jump from guy to guy and cry on the shoulder of the guy who she views as safe and nice.  Every once in a while they'll even tell that nice guy that she wishes that she can find someone like him and tell him that women should be all over him because he's a good guy.  However, she'll keep going after the guys that are bad for her and number count continues to increase.  When she finally figures out that she had a nice guy that she liked he's gone, but now he's the type she's attracted to.

[curtis72]

Jan 4, 2022 13:57:49 GMT Seducer237 said:

Hi, I've started going out and meeting girls and there's a girl whom I know (she's 3 years older than me) and has started to trust me a lot.

However, sometimes I feel that if I'm not careful from here I'll end up getting friend-zoned. She trusts me enough to share her personal problems with me and I also get help from her sometimes but nothing else.

I'm really cautious about this as I've been friend-zoned before in school and don't want it to happen again. How do I proceed from here?

Any advice would be valuable.

P.S. I'm not looking for a relationship here but rather to be in her mind's list of the guys that are capable of having great sex and not the guys that are 'just friends'(nice guys) for her.

So to paraphrase you want to bang her?

I'd probably be a bit more direct than Pilgrim.

"How about I take you out for romantic drinks at Bar X at *insert time*" then just take the answer at face value. If she says she can't, then depending on how much you like the girl, ask her if she's interested to reschedule.

I've always presented myself as a romantic option to girls I've been interested in pursuing so can't say I've experience, but when you tell girls to contact you before you've had your second date or banged her - you'll rarely get a response.

I hope this works for you!