Long term prospect, from online through to 2nd date
Apr 3, 2022 21:20:45 GMT
TheWhiteTiger likes this
Post by pilgrimmeister on Apr 3, 2022 21:20:45 GMT
I don't often write field reports. My casual encounters are just that, I do nothing special to bag them, things just happen in the moment, intent is shown and its done and dusted, and I had 2 FWBs until recently, now down to 1 and soon, maybe 0 FWBs. Those two mentioned are not LTR material and they know the deal.
However, I am not getting any younger so have been changing my approach from looking to casual to thinking more long term. While I have been doing that, I created a profile, kept pictures up to date and made my intro interesting. News flash, if you are not cream of the crop, you have to put effort into your intro and be truthful for what you are after. It lowers the matches, but the ones that do match with you have a high probalility rate of success, as if they read your bio, then they will have an idea. As it happens, I was going to move away from OLD and move to meet up groups after this anyway.
She liked me first, I saw it flash up and I was immediately interested. Mid 30s, car, own home, she has two children, but when you get to my age that isn't as important anymore, but she wants another child. She is also local which makes it easier. I will say though her pictures didn't look that great, so I had an open mind on what to expect.
Sent her a message, just a few messages here and there, asking questions about her, and in return, asking questions about me. I have a policy of only sending them messages if they have put the effort into their profile. Those who don't are boring AF, and that was true of another match, asked questions about me, but didn't answer much about her, so I ghosted her.
So over a week, despite only a few messages a day, I gathered it was worth dating her, so we exchanged numbers and set something up. A Sunday roast out.
I was expecting an hour or so, a nice meal and a farewell. I had no other expectations. She turns up and I am immedidately surprised how attractive she is. She is about 5'8 to my 5'10, plus a decent pair of heels so she was a bit taller than me on the date, but I couldn't give a monkeys about that.
Immediately hit it off. On this date, there wasn't much kino until closer to the end. We are in a restaurnt, but the converstations flowed, jokes and stories shared and by the end of the date, you could feel the tension was there. I thought about a kiss close, but I sensed that maybe a bit too much for her this time, and we ended with a hug. All the stuff I told her about me was 100% legit. I went over all my deal brakers with her and what my expectations were. She did the same. All out in the open on Day 1 is the best policy for LTR prospects, saves waitng your time and hers later on down the line.
Following day, she texts me that she had a lovely time, and wants to see me again. So, I set up a coastal walk along the sea front as the next date. Reason for the walk for the second date is, you can get close to her, its inexpensive, and its just the two of you, no prying ears, so you can bump up the kino, show more intent. Esclation ladder used throughout. So any touches to begin with involved a lot of mirroring, moving in close, then pulling away, while exploring more about eachother and our backgrounds, and more funnier and personal stories about me (even the risky ones). At this point, its now all smiles, so I start putting my arm around her, again, pulling back and a bit later, doing it again, but for longer periods.
Once back at the car, we headed on down to a beach coffee shop she knew of, and gave me a lift to where it was. That is a big IOI. During that coffee, she said was very comfortable with me, so towards the end of the date, the kiss close was happening, and it did. She immedidately then said she is going to arrange the next date doing an escape room challenge, as we both love problem solving stuff and more adverturous stuff. Didn't even had to wait or ask. The sexual tension is deffo there, and the chemistry is great. I could of F-closed, but she is showing so much LTR qualities at this stage, I chose not to, I had things to do, and she had a surprise party to get to.
I have used no routines, followed no rules, no faking it until I make it. I was just being me, treated her the same as every new approach, despite her being attractive. Another interesting fact, between dates, we do not text all that much a few messages every 2-3 days, becuase we don't need to. We both admitted we are bad texters, and none of us wants to talk ourselves out of a future date. We're both on the same page and its a great feeling.
Again, for future dates, I have no expectation to achieve an F-close. I said to her on the first date, things will happen naturally if they are meant to happen, just buckle up and enjoy the ride, and that is exactly what I have been doing. I am not worries about losing this one. It that happens, it will be a shame but I can't see that happening. She rang me by accident tonight then said sorry, worried about what I may say and do, so she is more worried about me walking away, then I am about her.
For those looking for Long Term, please take this in and follow future developments. Ask me questions. I am not going to put down word for word what I have said to her, it isn't important and won't help you.
I am enjoying this journey so far and will update.
However, I am not getting any younger so have been changing my approach from looking to casual to thinking more long term. While I have been doing that, I created a profile, kept pictures up to date and made my intro interesting. News flash, if you are not cream of the crop, you have to put effort into your intro and be truthful for what you are after. It lowers the matches, but the ones that do match with you have a high probalility rate of success, as if they read your bio, then they will have an idea. As it happens, I was going to move away from OLD and move to meet up groups after this anyway.
She liked me first, I saw it flash up and I was immediately interested. Mid 30s, car, own home, she has two children, but when you get to my age that isn't as important anymore, but she wants another child. She is also local which makes it easier. I will say though her pictures didn't look that great, so I had an open mind on what to expect.
Sent her a message, just a few messages here and there, asking questions about her, and in return, asking questions about me. I have a policy of only sending them messages if they have put the effort into their profile. Those who don't are boring AF, and that was true of another match, asked questions about me, but didn't answer much about her, so I ghosted her.
So over a week, despite only a few messages a day, I gathered it was worth dating her, so we exchanged numbers and set something up. A Sunday roast out.
I was expecting an hour or so, a nice meal and a farewell. I had no other expectations. She turns up and I am immedidately surprised how attractive she is. She is about 5'8 to my 5'10, plus a decent pair of heels so she was a bit taller than me on the date, but I couldn't give a monkeys about that.
Immediately hit it off. On this date, there wasn't much kino until closer to the end. We are in a restaurnt, but the converstations flowed, jokes and stories shared and by the end of the date, you could feel the tension was there. I thought about a kiss close, but I sensed that maybe a bit too much for her this time, and we ended with a hug. All the stuff I told her about me was 100% legit. I went over all my deal brakers with her and what my expectations were. She did the same. All out in the open on Day 1 is the best policy for LTR prospects, saves waitng your time and hers later on down the line.
Following day, she texts me that she had a lovely time, and wants to see me again. So, I set up a coastal walk along the sea front as the next date. Reason for the walk for the second date is, you can get close to her, its inexpensive, and its just the two of you, no prying ears, so you can bump up the kino, show more intent. Esclation ladder used throughout. So any touches to begin with involved a lot of mirroring, moving in close, then pulling away, while exploring more about eachother and our backgrounds, and more funnier and personal stories about me (even the risky ones). At this point, its now all smiles, so I start putting my arm around her, again, pulling back and a bit later, doing it again, but for longer periods.
Once back at the car, we headed on down to a beach coffee shop she knew of, and gave me a lift to where it was. That is a big IOI. During that coffee, she said was very comfortable with me, so towards the end of the date, the kiss close was happening, and it did. She immedidately then said she is going to arrange the next date doing an escape room challenge, as we both love problem solving stuff and more adverturous stuff. Didn't even had to wait or ask. The sexual tension is deffo there, and the chemistry is great. I could of F-closed, but she is showing so much LTR qualities at this stage, I chose not to, I had things to do, and she had a surprise party to get to.
I have used no routines, followed no rules, no faking it until I make it. I was just being me, treated her the same as every new approach, despite her being attractive. Another interesting fact, between dates, we do not text all that much a few messages every 2-3 days, becuase we don't need to. We both admitted we are bad texters, and none of us wants to talk ourselves out of a future date. We're both on the same page and its a great feeling.
Again, for future dates, I have no expectation to achieve an F-close. I said to her on the first date, things will happen naturally if they are meant to happen, just buckle up and enjoy the ride, and that is exactly what I have been doing. I am not worries about losing this one. It that happens, it will be a shame but I can't see that happening. She rang me by accident tonight then said sorry, worried about what I may say and do, so she is more worried about me walking away, then I am about her.
For those looking for Long Term, please take this in and follow future developments. Ask me questions. I am not going to put down word for word what I have said to her, it isn't important and won't help you.
I am enjoying this journey so far and will update.
