Personality traits in men who have a high sex appeal...?

[peter86]

What do you think it is that gives some men a certain noticeable sex appeal, even though they dohn't have any particularly striking looks?
I have met a few men like that, who wouldn't really be considered "physically attractive", but have a certain vibe about them that instantly makes them come off as guys who would easily develop a flirty and sexual communication with girls.

I remember that I used to watch some videos from a young woman who often gave flirting advice to both men and women, merely because she enjoyed doing that, and I remember that she once said something about recalling a situation from the past where you had felt very good during a flirty conversation, and then gather energy from that memory so that you got into the right "mood", as she called it.
This seems to make sense, because I do notice that I tend to feel like a more flirty person and get different mannerisms after I have been thinking about some memory like that for a while, and I also seem to notice very different and more positive reactions from girls when I talk to them during that state.

I have also noticed that men who give off this flirty vibe tend to be very relaxed, and also express a lot of self-confidence while at the same time seeming humble and "in control".
It also seems as if a lot of women tend to take on more "cute" mannerisms in front of these guys, and smile a lot more often, since they feel that they are talking to a man who "gets it".

What are your thoughts about all this?

[TheWhiteTiger]

Apr 26, 2022 20:20:54 GMT peter86 said:

[They] have a certain vibe about them that instantly makes them come off as guys who would easily develop a flirty and sexual communication with girls.

...

I have also noticed that men who give off this flirty vibe tend to be very relaxed, and also express a lot of self-confidence while at the same time seeming humble and "in control".
It also seems as if a lot of women tend to take on more "cute" mannerisms in front of these guys, and smile a lot more often, since they feel that they are talking to a man who "gets it".

Yes

Call it "vibe", call it "energy", call it anything you want but on the whole you're talking about a certain set of mannerisms that make guys more attractive. 


I've seen a lot of ideas around that in the community;


Mystery had his "five attributes of an alpha male": Confidence, a smile, being well groomed, possessing a sense of humor, ability to connect with people, and being seen as the social center of any room (you may notice these are 6). Style describes seeing Mystery for the first time with "a smug, I-just-bench-pressed-the-world smile"
A female friend of mine I was talking to talked about an ex she was very much into, and mentioned how when she first met him she first saw him walk into a house party with his friends, they were all laughing and having a great time.

So there's a few things there, but a lot boil down to confidence (which is displayed through body language among other things), as well as social proof (having friends, being a social center of a room, having OTHER women flirt with you, etc'). You can make the argument that social proof isn't a personality trait, which is true, but sadly women (and to be fair, men too) assume people who are popular must have good personality traits.

So those are my thoughts.

As for cultivating these things, some are easier, some are more difficult. We can work on body language and style of speech on our own, but acquiring social proof requires, well, a social life.

What in particular were you wondering about regarding these personality traits?

[JackZero]

I think your third paragraph answered it when you pointed out the self-confidence. Confidence can be seen in your body language and will actually make women want you to approach them. It's a huge advantage for a guy to approach a girl and she's already receptive. Just saying "hello" alone will be taken at a higher value than another guy not displaying that same confidence. Your jokes are automatically funnier and your attempts at being flirty will be taken more positively.

[pilgrimmeister]

For me, I know can approach anyone I want and start a conversation, crack a few jokes and exchange banter. Also I am good at holding eye contact. My best success is when I approach larger groups of girls, as it displays a lot of confidence and hardly any guys will try their luck but I also engage with the entire group and build rapport, then gain acceptance before focusing on the pick of the bunch.

I'm not good looking by any stretch, so had to improve in other areas, but I have a style that I own (Joe 90s, etc)

[peter86]

Apr 26, 2022 23:17:54 GMT JackZero said:

I think your third paragraph answered it when you pointed out the self-confidence. Confidence can be seen in your body language and will actually make women want you to approach them. It's a huge advantage for a guy to approach a girl and she's already receptive. Just saying "hello" alone will be taken at a higher value than another guy not displaying that same confidence. Your jokes are automatically funnier and your attempts at being flirty will be taken more positively.

This is definitely something that I noticed a lot when I was in my mid-teens;
I remember that I had a very outgoing and spontaneous personality back then, and this seemed to make a very strong impression on a lot of people.
I haven't been quite that way since then, and I am not totally sure why, but it probably had something to do with me starting at a new school when I started high school at age 16 (which is when we start high school here in Sweden - I am 36 years old today) and had trouble finding the same chemistry with people at that school (I did know a couple guys from my old school, but it never really became the same thing), and I have become a lot less of a social type since then, and kinda got used to that (I do technically have friends, but I very rarely hang out with them, and I mostly spend time with family members).

Either way, I remember that I had this very energetic and accidentally flirty personality back when I was like that the most, like a kind of continuous energy that always built upon itself;
I clearly remember that I would sometimes make spontaneous eye contact with girls that I found cute from a distance, and then hold that gaze and look at them like "hey there, cutie" with a smile until they became shy, and then I would just walk away and not think about that anymore, since I was purely doing it as a form of lighthearted fun, but they would sometimes approach me a few minutes later, and usually with some of their girl-friends.
That was really fun, and I don't feel that I have quite the personality for that kind of approach nowadays;
I believe that this is largely because I don't have much of a social life - I mean, a social life really gives a lot of energy, since it makes you feel that you are more "with it", and "part of the gang", so to speak.
I guess I should start visiting night clubs a bit more often, I have barely done that for several years, lol.

[JackZero]

My question for you is what are you good at? I'm not saying it so that you have to answer it directly. You have so many options on how and where you can meet women, so why not do it in a place that you can show off your skill and that in turn can play into that confidence level that you once had.