hiking outing

[smiles666]

Me: 40's
Woman: late 30's (HB7)

First off I haven't been dating in a long time - I won't go into details but Covid has been horrible for me.  Anyways I met woman on a dating app and had a phone call with her about 4 weeks ago just to make sure she's not crazy.  I can't remember exactly what we chatted about but I remember making her laugh and then making a date to meet up that weekend.  The day before the date I got into a horrible bicycle accident, then a week later I got the flu (not covid, I tested multiple times) and I was basically out of commission for 4 weeks.  I'm texting her in the meantime, but I feel like crap, I'm on meds and I know I'm not increasing value with these texts.  My text game isn't super strong anyways so I try to call her again yesterday and she just texts me back "Let's meet up for a walk!".   I'm feeling a bit better, but still not 100%, but at this point I'm so bored that I agree and find a place she hasn't been to before.

Q1: Should I even be going out if I feel like 10%-20% crap?  As I get older there is always something going on with my body that's difficult to ignore mentally.  

I dress up a bit, shave, do my hair (what's left of it) and head out the door. She's 10-15 minutes late (got lost) but I find it odd that she sends me a text vs. calling.  Maybe that's just the way women do things these days, but I'd like to hear from other guys is texting game a must have or can I get away with phone game?  I just do not like texting as a communication medium but women seem to love it.  I also get a ton of crap because I show up as a "green bubble" on their iPhones.  I usually brush it off with something like "oh it knows I contribute to the Sierra Club" or "huh - it knows I have a lot of green in my bank account"  - the Sierra Club joke goes over better than the other one.  But sometimes I'll use the bank account one just to sniff out gold diggers to see what their response is.

Anyways I meet up with the gal and give her a hug.

1) off the bat - great petite bod - this woman does yoga every day. I tend to like smaller boobs, but her's were like really really small.
2) cute face
3) semi-serious & semi-woke


I'm still a bit mentally drained from being injured and sick but these are the major things we chatted about.

1) Where she lived in a specific city; turns out I lived there about 5 years before she did.  I made a joke saying if "I was 25 I would have totally picked you up" and touched her shoulder while I did it causing her to lean into me and smile and blush a bit.  Unfortunately this was the only kino I had the entire 40 min walk.

2) We talked about her parents and how they wanted to move out of the state - she was concerned about them moving because of how old they are. I reassured her that they would be fine and it would be a good change for them.  I tried to change the conversation to ask her where she wanted to move, but she was pretty aloof with her answer and I didn't really know how to respond.

3) how where she currently lives has a ton of homeless people

4) how her job was going.

2-4 were all serious topics and probably I definitely felt like the energy decreased the further along we walked.  

I could tell the date didn't go super well but it also wasn't horrible either.  I was hungry so I asked if she wanted a smoothie to help recover from yoga and the walk.  She said "no thanks I have to be somewhere" and I have never met a woman that turned down a smoothie so I know that wasn't a good sign.  Anyways I'm back home now writing my thoughts down.


I'm looking for a few pieces of advice:
1) How do you respond to an aloof answers? I'm sure she was testing me but I couldn't figure what the test was.
2) What are some good ways to drive serious conversation topics into a positive/fun direction without ignoring the topic?
3) What are some good posts to read on texting game? especially for a guy in his 40's that doesn't like it.


Thanks in advance! 

[Wacker]

U dont need text game. My text game is shit. I mainly just use it to send innocent pictures to see if i get a response back, to see if she is interested, like a pic of my friends cute cat or somthing. Never send a boring text like "hows ur day going". Not at the beggining anyways. I text to set up phone calls which i usually do before a first date. And i text for time and place for dates. Dont waste ur time reading hours of "text game".

U could of done alot more kino during ur date. U should be asking more questions about her. And her passions. Not stuff about her family and her friends. Ur there to date her. Not her parents.

And next time u go out on a date try to have an idea of your surroundings. I love going to parks on first dates. Its public because there are people. Which makes things comfortable with her. Plus its easy to get away from everyone and be alone. Also there are usually events going on or creeks where u can skip stones together. Skipping stones is also another great way to get close beside her and have more kino

[TheWhiteTiger]

Aug 7, 2022 21:10:02 GMT smiles666 said:

1) Where she lived in a specific city; turns out I lived there about 5 years before she did.  I made a joke saying if "I was 25 I would have totally picked you up" and touched her shoulder while I did it causing her to lean into me and smile and blush a bit.  Unfortunately this was the only kino I had the entire 40 min walk.

I'd argue your text game is good enough that it got her out, but your kino needs more work. This was a good touch, but get comfortable doing it again and again as part of your normal speech.

Aug 7, 2022 21:10:02 GMT smiles666 said:

4) how her job was going.

You can actually work with this topic in two ways; You have to read how she talks about her job.

If it seems she likes what she does, get her talking more about why she went there, where she wants to be, and then build up that ideal self of her (say she wants to move up the ranks, her new nickname is "miss CEO").
If it seems that she DOESN'T like what she does, you can pivot with "Well what do you REALLY want to do?" and get her talking about her calling in life, and then again build up her ideal self.

One key point though, is you should base it on how SHE responds to her job, not YOU. I work with statistics, which for most people means I'm good with numbers but didn't have the charm to become an accountant. For me, however, it is one of the most interesting things ever and if someone really gets me going I will not shut up about stats.