Chat Game

[jacktheg]

Hello, i'm really bad when it's time to chat with a girl after taking her number, finish always that i say bullshit and not able to keeep attention on, how can i improve ?

[JackZero]

Quit pretending that you only want to chat with a girl after taking her number. You took her number for a reason and I'm betting that you didn't tell her what the reason was. So when it comes time to chat, you have nothing to say. You have nothing to say because you don't want her to reject your actual motivations for taking the number in the first place.

If you want to have something to say, let her know up front why you are taking her number. If she doesn't want to give you the number because of your reason, you're saving a lot of time. If she still wants to give you her number, your chat should be revolving around your reason for taking her number.

[Wacker]

Try making plans to meet up with her while in person. An easy way to do this is to say "you know what... I have decided." *Pause. "Im going to get to know you better". *take out your phone "give me your number. We should grab some bubble tea in the future".

Now when u are texting her throughout the next week or 2. You can easily bring up the bubble tea idea and organize a time to meet. Also bringing up the bubble tea date in person while getting her number will allow u to feel what kind of vibe she has towards u

[jacktheg]

Nov 18, 2022 16:27:59 GMT JackZero said:

HI Jack, yeah... but when I take her number, i say here why, and I usally say after talk a little, "hey yo if you now can't go drink something give me your number so another time we will go". And when i try to stay focus on the purpose for what i ask the number i get rejection.different argument if is a completely random girl on Tinder, also there i have difficulties. 

[JackZero]

Nov 19, 2022 23:33:11 GMT jacktheg said:

HI Jack, yeah... but when I take her number, i say here why, and I usally say after talk a little, "hey yo if you now can't go drink something give me your number so another time we will go". And when i try to stay focus on the purpose for what i ask the number i get rejection.different argument if is a completely random girl on Tinder, also there i have difficulties.

Then the problem is likely your initial connection.  She isn't feeling the moment with you right now and saying "yes" in order to see if anything is there or to let you down/ghost you later.  It may also apply to tinder too.

I'd hope to hear more details about your face to face interactions so we can get to what the sticking point really is.  

[jacktheg]

Fw Yeah man the part to grab her number i do easy the problem is to keep attention on for that 1-2 weeks for invite her on a date

[jacktheg]

JackZero When i approach girl in street, i usually go for " Hey i saw you (doing an action) and i realized that i will not forgive myself if was not come to talk with you (smiling) after that a lot of quick question about normal stuff that people say like "What is your name" , " What do you do here" and after that i try to invite her on an instant date if she is available if not, i say " okay let's give me your number so when you are free we go for a drink " and that approacch if i set for 1.5 hour to approach girl, 1-2 telephone number i get always.

[JackZero]

Let me make sure I understand what you do.
1. You approach a girl and you have a normal questions and conversation while being flirty
2. You attempt to have an instant date if she has time or you take her number
3. You try to set a date for 1-2 weeks later
4. She loses interest in chatting with you between the time you take her phone number and the date

Am I getting that right?

[Wacker]

One thing i have realised is that when u get a girls number throughout the day. The girl is going to be thinking about you in every way possible. Alot of the time they are going to think about you as a player or a douchbag. It can take a coupe weeks for a girl to feel comfortable enough to meet up with you in person. At the end of the day. U are still a complete stranger and she probably isnt used to meeting a guy like this. Usually its through friends. I like using a phonecall or two to break rapport more easily but some girls do not enjoy phone calls. So just know that its normal to text a girl for 2 weeks every other day/ day until u get her in person.

Breaking rapport helps to remove the douchbag perspective they might have towards you. But still. Show your sexual desires (ex. Using sexual innuendos) so that you dont come off as a "nice guy".

Nice guys do not express themselves sexually which makes it harder for women to know what their intentions in the relationship are. Which will make it harder for them to trust you.

Do note that a " nice guy" and a " good guy" are not the same thing. Stay away from being the "needy nice guy"

[jacktheg]



Nov 20, 2022 16:44:10 GMT 1 JackZero said:

"Let me make sure I understand what you do.

1. You approach a girl and you have a normal questions and conversation while being flirty

2. You attempt to have an instant date if she has time or you take her number

3. You try to set a date for 1-2 weeks later

4. She loses interest in chatting with you between the time you take her phone number and the date

Am I getting that right?"

Your are right but on the third point ,i try to set a date as soon as possible usually , depending if she ask me question and invest in the conversation in that casa i can wait 4-5 day before ask her to go out instead if she is not investing to much i ask her out like on 1-2 day of chat. But most of all i get girl on the second option, and in that case i'm lucky to find a girl not to dfficult to approach that not have much "resistence" but in the last time istruggle a lot to chat i get all girl who not invest in chat and so i ask their to go out asap but don't work 90% of times.

[jacktheg]



Nov 20, 2022 18:11:49 GMT 1 Wacker said:

One thing i have realised is that when u get a girls number throughout the day. The girl is going to be thinking about you in every way possible. Alot of the time they are going to think about you as a player or a douchbag. It can take a coupe weeks for a girl to feel comfortable enough to meet up with you in person. At the end of the day. U are still a complete stranger and she probably isnt used to meeting a guy like this. Usually its through friends. I like using a phonecall or two to break rapport more easily but some girls do not enjoy phone calls. So just know that its normal to text a girl for 2 weeks every other day/ day until u get her in person.

Breaking rapport helps to remove the douchbag perspective they might have towards you. But still. Show your sexual desires (ex. Using sexual innuendos) so that you dont come off as a "nice guy".

Nice guys do not express themselves sexually which makes it harder for women to know what their intentions in the relationship are. Which will make it harder for them to trust you.

Do note that a " nice guy" and a " good guy" are not the same thing. Stay away from being the "needy nice guy" 

Yeah i usally don't use sexual flirt because is not my stile but completely agree with not be a needy nice guy , i'm working on it

[N2thevoid]

Nov 19, 2022 18:12:28 GMT Wacker said:

Try making plans to meet up with her while in person. An easy way to do this is to say "you know what... I have decided." *Pause. "Im going to get to know you better". *take out your phone "give me your number. We should grab some bubble tea in the future".

Now when u are texting her throughout the next week or 2. You can easily bring up the bubble tea idea and organize a time to meet. Also bringing up the bubble tea date in person while getting her number will allow u to feel what kind of vibe she has towards u

She asian?

[N2thevoid]

Dec 8, 2022 9:09:41 GMT N2thevoid said:

Nov 19, 2022 18:12:28 GMT Wacker said:

Try making plans to meet up with her while in person. An easy way to do this is to say "you know what... I have decided." *Pause. "Im going to get to know you better". *take out your phone "give me your number. We should grab some bubble tea in the future".

Now when u are texting her throughout the next week or 2. You can easily bring up the bubble tea idea and organize a time to meet. Also bringing up the bubble tea date in person while getting her number will allow u to feel what kind of vibe she has towards u

She asian?

Tad bit presumptuous. Maybe she thinks little to anything of it as she's used to it, and simply blocks the guys she finds 'creepy'.

[N2thevoid]

Nov 21, 2022 18:13:43 GMT jacktheg said:



Nov 20, 2022 16:44:10 GMT 1 JackZero said:

"Let me make sure I understand what you do.

1. You approach a girl and you have a normal questions and conversation while being flirty

2. You attempt to have an instant date if she has time or you take her number

3. You try to set a date for 1-2 weeks later

4. She loses interest in chatting with you between the time you take her phone number and the date

Am I getting that right?"

Your are right but on the third point ,i try to set a date as soon as possible usually , depending if she ask me question and invest in the conversation in that casa i can wait 4-5 day before ask her to go out instead if she is not investing to much i ask her out like on 1-2 day of chat. But most of all i get girl on the second option, and in that case i'm lucky to find a girl not to dfficult to approach that not have much "resistence" but in the last time istruggle a lot to chat i get all girl who not invest in chat and so i ask their to go out asap but don't work 90% of times.

This makes my brain hurt.

So much analysis. You ought to have a logic diagram honestly "if else then" for every POSSIBLE permutation.

Be authentic, she knows you like her so act congruent with that and ask her out. The issue is you go into your interactions lacking self-confidence and that's where likely you're losing them.

[Alex Penn]

Keep it simple. First, relax. No need for fancy scripts. Second, find common ground from your previous convo. Shared interests, jokes, whatever. Third, listen more, talk less. Real connections happen when you genuinely engage. Don't overthink, just be you.