lolpants
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 32
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Post by lolpants on May 20, 2018 13:28:28 GMT
Having coffee this morning with my GF and we were just chilling and talking about a friend of mine she hasn't met. At one point I compared him to a friend she already briefly met. I said that friend she met is the 'good guy' kinda type. My girlfriend agreed and said he was very polite and charming. I laughed and said that those attributes got him laid a lot in the past. And thats when she said ' he's a guy I would fuck' 😑
She immediately apologized when she noticed I wasn't realy happy with that remark. She started crying....and kept apologizing, didn't know why she said such a thing, told me that her ex did that all the time,.... I stayed calm, explained her what I disliked about it.
I don't know guys, how should I feel about this. I could easly laugh about what she said about my mate but it feels awkward to say such a thing whilest your in a serious relationship.
Your thoughts ?
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Post by JackZero on May 20, 2018 16:07:17 GMT
Personally, I think you're blowing it out of proportion by being bothered. Unless you really believe that he is a guy that she would fuck, then what's wrong with it as a joke? If it is a joke, the real problem is likely that she touched on an insecurity that you have. If I were you, I'd explore if the awkwardness that you feel is coming from an insecure place. Do not get me wrong in think that I'm telling you that you're wrong to feel the way you feel, but if you want to get this behind you, figure out why you feel this way.
I'm interested in what you told her about what you disliked about her comment because it's odd that you would tell her what you disliked but then come to the forum and ask how you should feel about this.
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Post by N2thevoid on May 20, 2018 16:10:28 GMT
I'd put this in the 'not a big deal' bin.
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lolpants
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 32
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Post by lolpants on May 20, 2018 18:11:10 GMT
When she said it I felt like I should laugh it off as a joke since I know she wouldn't do it and didn't really mean it. But on the other hand I felt like I shouldn't accepted remarks like that.
Honestly I can easly place it in the 'not a big deal bin' But I wasn't sure if I should see this as something offensive or like a misplaced joke. Thats why I reached out.
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Post by JackZero on May 20, 2018 19:17:35 GMT
I'm not sure about the whole shouldn't accept remarks like that is a smart way of thinking about things. No matter what, she may have been thinking it. The only difference is that she is now understanding that there are things that she can't say to you because she'll have to worry about your reaction when they aren't serious.
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Post by R.C on May 21, 2018 7:38:20 GMT
You made the poor girl cry because she said she'd fuck some guy? God forbid she be attracted to anyone while in a relationship with you.
What is it about the term "serious relationship" that also implies you cannot and should not be able to appreciate the appeal of other people? Have you never seen or looked at another girl since you've been together, or are you just being a hypocrite? Like JZ said, choosing to be offended by something that is not offensive in nature is not the girls' problem, it's yours. And it doesn't mean she won't think it in the future, it simply means she won't be sharing it anymore.
Your reacted as if she didn't just make a statement, but as if she asked your permission to actually go and do it.
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lolpants
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 32
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Post by lolpants on May 21, 2018 13:21:20 GMT
'this guy' is my best friend thats why i found it to be so weird. but I clearly see what I did wrong. So do I just let it be ? I have been making jokes about the whole situation with her yesterday, we kinda felt stupid afterwards when we realized we were just wasting time being overly sensitive about it.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on May 21, 2018 14:32:27 GMT
Have you considered just dropping it?.....
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Post by N2thevoid on May 21, 2018 14:57:44 GMT
'this guy' is my best friend thats why i found it to be so weird. but I clearly see what I did wrong. So do I just let it be ? I have been making jokes about the whole situation with her yesterday, we kinda felt stupid afterwards when we realized we were just wasting time being overly sensitive about it. We? You mean you
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Post by R.C on May 23, 2018 6:35:28 GMT
'this guy' is my best friend thats why i found it to be so weird. but I clearly see what I did wrong. So do I just let it be ? I have been making jokes about the whole situation with her yesterday, we kinda felt stupid afterwards when we realized we were just wasting time being overly sensitive about it. I've had girls and girlfriends say that about my best friend numbers of times. And I'd be worried there was something wrong with them if they hadn't. He's a cool guy. Just drop it. You made it awkward and joking about it further will only make it more awkward. Just don't be so overly sensitive in the future.
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Post by neo87 on May 29, 2018 5:43:37 GMT
Having coffee this morning with my GF and we were just chilling and talking about a friend of mine she hasn't met. At one point I compared him to a friend she already briefly met. I said that friend she met is the 'good guy' kinda type. My girlfriend agreed and said he was very polite and charming. I laughed and said that those attributes got him laid a lot in the past. And thats when she said ' he's a guy I would fuck' 😑 She immediately apologized when she noticed I wasn't realy happy with that remark. She started crying....and kept apologizing, didn't know why she said such a thing, told me that her ex did that all the time,.... I stayed calm, explained her what I disliked about it. I don't know guys, how should I feel about this. I could easly laugh about what she said about my mate but it feels awkward to say such a thing whilest your in a serious relationship. Your thoughts ? If you don't want your gf talking about a guy in a sexual manner...why are you talking abt a guy in a sexual manner?! Why throw in how he gets laid? If you dislike sexual statments, dont make them.
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Post by N2thevoid on May 29, 2018 16:12:06 GMT
Neo's dead on the money. Never ask questions to which you're not able to handle the answers.
He baited her like a 20 y.o. girl would bait her bf and then chew him out after.
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