chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 9, 2018 13:19:13 GMT
Hi guys,
So I had this date yesterday at her place, it was the 4th time we met. At the end of the night we started kissing and I took her shirt off. We moved to the bed and continued there.
When I tried to unzip her pants she told me she wasnt ready for sex yet. Im a bit confused about this because I was escalating and she seemed interested.
Is it because she didnt feel enough attraction for me, or is she afraid that she might come off as a slut and that I would think she is easy?
Almost never had this bs because mostly when a girl likes me we would fuck in this scenario. I got the impression before the makeout that she isnt a girl who jumps from dick to dick, but I learned to never fully trust this feeling.
Now I sent her a message this morning saying the food was great and that it was fun blabla. No response..
Any thoughts?
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Post by JackZero on Aug 9, 2018 14:37:37 GMT
What happened after she said that she wasn't ready for sex?
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 9, 2018 15:17:52 GMT
What happened after she said that she wasn't ready for sex? I said thats fine and we made out some more. It was a clear one so I stopped. Dont want to be a rapist haha. |
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Post by R.C on Aug 9, 2018 18:31:35 GMT
Whatever happened to agree, amplify, escalate?
It's hardly a "clear one". A clear one doesn't occur in bed with the shirt off.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Aug 9, 2018 18:36:21 GMT
LMR
Acronym for Last Minute Resistance. This is when a woman puts up some form of resistance right before you successfully lay her because she start having second thoughts about having sex. You likely could have sealed the deal though.
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 9, 2018 19:10:02 GMT
Whatever happened to agree, amplify, escalate? It's hardly a "clear one". A clear one doesn't occur in bed with the shirt off. She still had her bra on though. But what would you do then if she firmly says no with still her jeans on? |
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 9, 2018 19:12:49 GMT
LMR Acronym for Last Minute Resistance. This is when a woman puts up some form of resistance right before you successfully lay her because she start having second thoughts about having sex. You likely could have sealed the deal though. I know of this, but this sounded too firm. I went over previous LMR with her when she said it was going too fast |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 9, 2018 19:15:34 GMT
Whatever happened to agree, amplify, escalate? It's hardly a "clear one". A clear one doesn't occur in bed with the shirt off. She still had her bra on though. But what would you do then if she firmly says no with still her jeans on? |
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 9, 2018 19:19:07 GMT
She still had her bra on though. But what would you do then if she firmly says no with still her jeans on? You mean something like Yes baby this is so wrong, and then take her jeans off? |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 9, 2018 19:23:51 GMT
You mean something like Yes baby this is so wrong, and then take her jeans off? No. You go back to the point of where you are making out again. You don't tell her what you're doing is wrong. You express that you understand or tell her that she got you worked up. |
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 9, 2018 19:29:50 GMT
You mean something like Yes baby this is so wrong, and then take her jeans off? No. You go back to the point of where you are making out again. You don't tell her what you're doing is wrong. You express that you understand or tell her that she got you worked up. Alright, thanks for clearing that up. I basically got back to the point of making out but I guess I didnt escalate more then. I must say this was one of the girls with the most LMR ive had so far. It felt like she kept on putting up walls |
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Aug 9, 2018 19:58:54 GMT
I must say this was one of the girls with the most LMR ive had so far. It felt like she kept on putting up walls You.. A. She was uncomfortable due to any number of things we cannot see, even as minute as having a disgusting bathroom, to her not feeling fresh in her nether regions. B. As simple as this sounds, perhaps as she said, you were moving to fast. Trying to the D without pausing at A-B or C. |
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Post by neo87 on Aug 10, 2018 3:25:15 GMT
How I think you couldve played it....
1. Agree amp escalate
2. If you sensed resistance before going for the pants, kiss her from her lips down to her pants. Then take them off, suggesting you're going down. Sometimes the chick just wants more pleasure before actual sex, and "servicing her" is easier to get away with then lead to sex than going straight for it.
3. I like humor/flirting too for LMR. Act exaggeratedly (word?) shocked that she would even have that notion. "Sex?, I just dont want your jeans scratching up my bed" with a coy smile.Playful
4. Nonsensical rules: kinda like 3 above, "tell you what, I'll take off your pants, but I swear I wont take off mine so nothings gonna happen. Deal?" I guess its that plausible deniability thing. Once her pants are off, escalate more and she'll take off your pants for you.
5. Always keep in mind the her clothes to yours ratio. If her shirt is off, take yours off. Makes her more comfortable. Some guys want to girl naked while they're fully dressed in bed.Your shirt on reminds her its not mutual and you're just trying to get it in.
The thing with LMR is you never want to act like its a big deal. You're not a rapist, unless you're pushing back on resistance with force.
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 11, 2018 16:45:00 GMT
Yeah, will use these tips in the future, thanks.
However, what im wondering about is if a girl normally loses attraction after this kind of situation?
Like I said weve been hanging out 4 times now, but when I stop texting her she never really initiates any convo like asking how some event was where I went, etc. Ive noticed that most girls who are really into me will ask these kind of things out of the blue. Would like to see this girl again but if she doesnt initiate a convo I will come across as a little needy when asking her out.
Any thoughts on how to proceed with this one?
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chef89
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Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 16, 2018 7:01:42 GMT
Well just to give you guys some idea of how this ended:
She rejected me because she didnt feel at ease during the escalation phase and had a bad feeling about it afterwards. Guess I have a bit of a problem with calibration here.
Any way I can still recover this? I mean I have more options but this girl I really liked, even as a person..
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