New Orleans -Halloween for a tourist

[ninjabib]

That's awesome dude I'm glad to hear you are back in the saddle so to speak. I also agree with a lot of what you say for me personally(in the.main) it's been my mental health issues rather than the ex.

I was gutted over the ex for 2 months but then thought fuck it. My health issues contributed heavily to the breakup if I look back and am honest with myself. I'm a far inferior person to the guy I was before my brain injury BUT slowly getting there.

Not being able to hold any decent level of conversation made me think why bother but as I slowly return to my full powers I feel able to get get back out there too.

Deffo true about the grieving thing though. Those 2 girls I slept with were immediately after the break up and just drunken ons. Felt worse after each one so knew I had to give myself space from women for a bit.

[GFRESH2DEF]

I also want to add that although i had oneitis for her..i wasn't acting needy behavioral-wise. I wasn't being needy through text..i wasn't texting her constantly..i wasn't calling her constantly..or stalking her on social media, the way that most guys with oneitis does. Over the years..i've learned to control those behaviors, and not react impulsively to the strong negative emotions that girls can make you feel sometimes. But underneath the surface..i still had oneitis, just like any other guy who is emotionally attached to one particular girl. Even while i was with her physically, and still seeing her every other week..it was still affecting me. I was still approaching girls while me and my fuck buddy chick were having sex with each other on a weekly to bi-weekly basis..when i saw that my results with other girls was starting to suffer. I can't really explain why. It's almost as if i loss some edge off of my game..kinda like a strike out pitcher in the MLB losing something off of his fast ball, and now..not only does he not strike out batters anymore, but they keep hitting home runs off of his pitches now. That's how bad my game with girls got  . I've even noticed that the way that i've grown accustomed to gaming girls, got alarmingly soft! My game with girls went from Rated-R..to Rated-PG13. That's how i described how my game with girls was like..from mid-to-end of this summer lol   . What my Rated-PG13 game with girls looked like for me at the time (If you've ever watched PUA Infield Videos on Youtube)..my interactions with girls was very friendly and chatty (I definitely was running nice guy game..that was also somewhat dancing monkey-ish. It's not the type of game that produces real results with women)..yes some teasing..some eye contact and kino, but it lacked that grounded-ness, the masculine polarity and the strong sexual intent to it. It's no wonder why i was in a near 2 month drought with girls, running that "Rated PG-13 game" on them. I realized this, and i had to have that talk with myself and do some soul searching (i had to have that come to Jesus moment with myself lol). I knew that i had to stop running the "Rated PG-13 game" that i was running with girls..and go back to the "Rated-R game" that i was running with girls in the 1st half of this year. It took some time, but i got back to running my "Rated-R game" with girls. And once i committed myself to gaming that way (which was more of a mindset shift that i needed to make to my game..as opposed to a technical shift..but a little bit of a technical shift though..more plowing and leading), then the hot streak of girls that i just went through very recently..happened not too long after that. Once i finally let go of my fuck buddy chick physically and emotionally, when we were taking a break from each other and weren't talking..that helped me as well. Internally, you have to be okay with letting her go, and move on..that's the key!




Ninjabib, i believe that you will get back to your normal self as well real soon. Keep working on fixing your mindsets and your overall approach to things, coming off of your oneitis. Because that's what i had to do. 
 



-G

[ninjabib]

Oh GFRESH i have let her go some months back. She wasn't supportive of me after my accident and head injuries so i definitely dont want her back. I've told her countless times to stop contacting me and it finally seems to have sunk in.

Agree with what you say though, its easy to kinda go back to soft/friendly game without even realising. I think thats where i am at. Women are enjoying me again but i think i lacked the aggressiveness to take it all the way but to be honest it felt good just re-starting again. It's like a week off takes about 3 months to get back to where you were.

Thanks for the info and advice

[GFRESH2DEF]

That's great that you were able to get your game back as well, after you let her go. And you're welcome!




My fuck buddy chick was and still is awesome, and i have nothing against her at all. What was happening with me internally and to my game at the time, was mostly my doing and not her fault (i was slowly developing some emotional attachment to her, and i was starting to lack that alpha drive that i had earlier this year..all of that was slowly turning me back into a beta male. I guess i got lazy and comfortable in my situation with her, and lost some personal drive). It was a backwards trend in my personal growth that i recognized happening within myself, that i needed to fix. I just want to make that clear, and not cast any aspersions on her.




-G