Help - meeting "that girl"

[complexity]

Hey guys. I am kind of ashamed of it, but I'll be as honest as I can. I am nervous as f***. My heart is pumping so hard that if it were pumping water, there would be enough for the entire planet to drink. I started of with a silly chatbox, got a great opener, got to neg a bit, made her laugh, we had several video chats and so on. The online game worked out perfectly, but tomorrow I am meeting her. I had a number of dates before, but boy, this girl is just awesome and I am going crazy. I am afraid of fucking up, because I know that I'll be very nervous around her. I just like her too much. When I am just having a conversation with a hot girl or anything I don't give any f**, I am being pretty comfortable with it, but when it comes to meeting that girl which you want, it is different, the confident Complexity turns into "Nervousness".

Now, the point is that, I know all that stuff where she's just a girl, I shouldn't be nervous, but here I am shitting my pants. F***. I need your help with some lines, some entertaining games to open her. And especially, I need some uncomfortable(ish) questions, so I can put pressure on her. But there's none in my head at this point, not even the one's that I've been using, cause everything was coming naturally and I already forgot them. Help me build the plan B guys, I really need the motivation right now 

[R.C]

You can't like her too much, because realistically speaking you don't know her. What you like is the idea that you've created of her, in your own head. While that's not something you can just switch off, it's good to keep in perspective.

Once you've been with someone for around 2-4 months, then you'll have some good grounds to claim you really like them.



Here's the thing. Lines are great for getting someones attention. You can go full overboard with them and that'll just be a testament to your humor. Same with games. But dates are not for that. The point of a date is to probe compatibility. To get a bit of insight on who the other person is.

You don't want to make her uncomfortable. You want to challenge her. Stay true to yourself and see how that blends with who she is.


I'll give you a really short example for some context. I was on a date and the subject of 'gender roles' came up, since that's a complete hysteria nowadays. She claimed that she thinks it's rude if a guy won't help her with a bag of groceries, because he's "stronger". I asked if she's also comfortable with washing my dishes and cleaning my house since women are more perceptive of details. Ofcourse she said no, so the next hour was a back and forth argument of why I think that's a double standard, and a bag of groceries doesn't weigh so much that it would a burden for a female but a breeze for a man. We're talking groceries, not construction material.





So, is that a great line or game? no. Was if fun tho? yes. Engaged conversations are great ways to escalate too. 

My point is, don't focus on being an entertainer. Too many guys do that and end up bending over backwards for women. A date involves two people and she needs to prove worthy of your time just as much as you need to be worthy of hers. And if you go there convinced that she's already passed your check, you implicitly failed hers. 

[N2thevoid]

Mar 5, 2018 10:20:40 GMT R.C said:

And if you go there convinced that she's already passed your check, you implicitly failed hers. 

Well put, and this can happen to even the best of us. I did this just the other day on my first date after being in a 1.5 year relationship. It happens, but definitely good to remind yourself "has she done anything to have EARNED my respect?" rather than implicitly giving her a free pass because she's giving you her time and you find her attractive.