Post by nyceboi on Feb 7, 2019 1:43:31 GMT
This is a post from the old forum I think is interesting and is a quick guide for newbies to practice and lose fear/anxiety
the author of this post is black phantom.
Black Phantom » Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:03 pm
START: THE MINDSET
So before you even say Hi to a girl, you need to have the right mindset.
When I started out, I was very unaware of this whole new world that exists between
men and women.
You see when most guys start out, they have the mindset of a person
who is CHASING something.
The society pretty much programmed us to think of women as something
higher, as the prize, as something we are lucky to get - like a Porsche or
a Ferrari.
So we guys are walking around thinking women are at the top, and we are at
the bottom.
She's HOT - I'm NOT.
She has the VALUE - I don't.
She is CHOOSING me - I don't choose her.
She has the POWER - I don't.
She is something MORE - I am something less.
This is almost a default mindset for most guys. And they can't help it, because
the society gives beautiful women all the value from the get-go.
So the first shift in thinking is in changing this mindset.
To what?
Well instead of seeing women as more valuable, with more power, with more
status and choices, you want to see women for what they actually ARE.
Here's the thing: Women don't think of themselves as more confident than
you are.
YOU think they are more confident than you are.
Women don't think they're more valuable than you are.
YOU think they are more valuable than you are.
Women don't think (or even want) that they have more power than you.
YOU think they have more power than you.
As a society, we have DEHUMANISED women, and we have definitely OBJECTIFIED them.
We guys are like dogs running after a fresh piece of sausage. We have lost touch
with our own self and our own sense of worth, and put women on this pedestal of
goddessy and superiority.
We forgot that women are fucking HUMAN beings too, who have their own problems and challenges
like anyone else in the world.
They have hopes, dreams, aspirations. They have worries and fears. They even have - now
you won't believe this - APPROACH ANXIETY.
Yes, they actually feel UNCOMFORTABLE about walking up to a guy and starting a conversation
with him.
Here's the trick guys - women are humans FIRST, women SECOND.
And they DON'T WANT to be on a pedestal.
They DON'T WANT to be put into power.
Women actually HATE when guys see them as more powerful.
Your biggest shift in thinking will come in changing your view of women from
"To hot to talk to"
to
"I wonder what worries her..."
and
"I wonder how much she loves her parents..."
TRUE STORY:
I'm sitting in this caffe one day, drinking my coffee, when this amazing girl walks in.
She is GORGEOUS. Her ass is like nothing you've ever seen, and every single person looks
at how she walks to get her coffee.
She has this aura, this strong presence and literally scares guys away with her look.
She sits at a table in front of me, with her back turned towards me, so my ways of starting
a conversation with her are limited.
So I say, "Hey.." so she can hear me. When she turns around I go: "Yea you, I want to ask you something..."
She says, "What?"
I say, "Did you come here for me?"
She smiles for some reason, and isn't bitchy. She says, "Heh, what makes you think I came her for you..."
and I say, "Well I saw you looked at me when you walked in, and I could definitely tell you like me..."
She smiles again, and says, "Aren't we confident..."
And I say, "Yea, that's actually my last name..." and let that sink in with a smile.
The reason why a girl like that responded to me in a pleasant way is because most guys
are plainly SCARED of even talking to her.
So it comes as a surprise to her when someone is actually confident around her.
Then I continue "So what are you doing here anyways?"
She says, "I'm here after work, needed some coffee."
I say, "Really? What do you do?"
She says, "I'm a hairdresser, I work nearby."
Then she says, "you know it would be more comfortable if I didn't have to be turned this way to
talk to you...you can sit next to my desk you know..."
And I say, "Only if you promise not to touch me too much..."
She smiles, and I sit next to her. We talk, and here's where this gets really interesting.
We get into this conversation, and it turns out she's living on her own. She get's deeper and tells
me how her dad is an alcoholic and how he said to her some awful stuff.
Then I look at her and say, "What would happen if you saw your dad told you the thing you
always wanted him to say..."
I look straight into her and I notice a tear coming from her eye.
She looks away, and clears the tear.
All of the sudden that great image of her, her amazing ass and body - all fall away
because I can see a real person underneath.
The illusion of this grandiose woman she was carrying with her has disappeared, and now she
is just a little girl in front of me.
Now she really opens up. She has this wide smile, her arms are open and all the B.S fake
confidence is now out of the window.
So what am I saying here?
Your first shift in thinking is in understanding that women are HUMANS just like you are.
So stop putting women above you.
They have their problems just like anyone else, and if you want to get good with women, your first
step is in RECOGNISING their human side, and CONNECT with them on that side first.
So let's put everything together:
1. Women are not better than you, they are your equal partner.
2. Even though a woman is hot, she is still a little girl inside, looking for a man who can allow her
to be that girl.
3. Women don't have more power than you, unless you give them that power.
4. Women don't want that power - they want a man with that power.
That's your first mindset shift to understand. Stop being like a hungry dog chasing after a sausage.
Burn those ideas into your head before you even walk out of your house.
the author of this post is black phantom.
Black Phantom » Mon Apr 03, 2017 12:03 pm
START: THE MINDSET
So before you even say Hi to a girl, you need to have the right mindset.
When I started out, I was very unaware of this whole new world that exists between
men and women.
You see when most guys start out, they have the mindset of a person
who is CHASING something.
The society pretty much programmed us to think of women as something
higher, as the prize, as something we are lucky to get - like a Porsche or
a Ferrari.
So we guys are walking around thinking women are at the top, and we are at
the bottom.
She's HOT - I'm NOT.
She has the VALUE - I don't.
She is CHOOSING me - I don't choose her.
She has the POWER - I don't.
She is something MORE - I am something less.
This is almost a default mindset for most guys. And they can't help it, because
the society gives beautiful women all the value from the get-go.
So the first shift in thinking is in changing this mindset.
To what?
Well instead of seeing women as more valuable, with more power, with more
status and choices, you want to see women for what they actually ARE.
Here's the thing: Women don't think of themselves as more confident than
you are.
YOU think they are more confident than you are.
Women don't think they're more valuable than you are.
YOU think they are more valuable than you are.
Women don't think (or even want) that they have more power than you.
YOU think they have more power than you.
As a society, we have DEHUMANISED women, and we have definitely OBJECTIFIED them.
We guys are like dogs running after a fresh piece of sausage. We have lost touch
with our own self and our own sense of worth, and put women on this pedestal of
goddessy and superiority.
We forgot that women are fucking HUMAN beings too, who have their own problems and challenges
like anyone else in the world.
They have hopes, dreams, aspirations. They have worries and fears. They even have - now
you won't believe this - APPROACH ANXIETY.
Yes, they actually feel UNCOMFORTABLE about walking up to a guy and starting a conversation
with him.
Here's the trick guys - women are humans FIRST, women SECOND.
And they DON'T WANT to be on a pedestal.
They DON'T WANT to be put into power.
Women actually HATE when guys see them as more powerful.
Your biggest shift in thinking will come in changing your view of women from
"To hot to talk to"
to
"I wonder what worries her..."
and
"I wonder how much she loves her parents..."
TRUE STORY:
I'm sitting in this caffe one day, drinking my coffee, when this amazing girl walks in.
She is GORGEOUS. Her ass is like nothing you've ever seen, and every single person looks
at how she walks to get her coffee.
She has this aura, this strong presence and literally scares guys away with her look.
She sits at a table in front of me, with her back turned towards me, so my ways of starting
a conversation with her are limited.
So I say, "Hey.." so she can hear me. When she turns around I go: "Yea you, I want to ask you something..."
She says, "What?"
I say, "Did you come here for me?"
She smiles for some reason, and isn't bitchy. She says, "Heh, what makes you think I came her for you..."
and I say, "Well I saw you looked at me when you walked in, and I could definitely tell you like me..."
She smiles again, and says, "Aren't we confident..."
And I say, "Yea, that's actually my last name..." and let that sink in with a smile.
The reason why a girl like that responded to me in a pleasant way is because most guys
are plainly SCARED of even talking to her.
So it comes as a surprise to her when someone is actually confident around her.
Then I continue "So what are you doing here anyways?"
She says, "I'm here after work, needed some coffee."
I say, "Really? What do you do?"
She says, "I'm a hairdresser, I work nearby."
Then she says, "you know it would be more comfortable if I didn't have to be turned this way to
talk to you...you can sit next to my desk you know..."
And I say, "Only if you promise not to touch me too much..."
She smiles, and I sit next to her. We talk, and here's where this gets really interesting.
We get into this conversation, and it turns out she's living on her own. She get's deeper and tells
me how her dad is an alcoholic and how he said to her some awful stuff.
Then I look at her and say, "What would happen if you saw your dad told you the thing you
always wanted him to say..."
I look straight into her and I notice a tear coming from her eye.
She looks away, and clears the tear.
All of the sudden that great image of her, her amazing ass and body - all fall away
because I can see a real person underneath.
The illusion of this grandiose woman she was carrying with her has disappeared, and now she
is just a little girl in front of me.
Now she really opens up. She has this wide smile, her arms are open and all the B.S fake
confidence is now out of the window.
So what am I saying here?
Your first shift in thinking is in understanding that women are HUMANS just like you are.
So stop putting women above you.
They have their problems just like anyone else, and if you want to get good with women, your first
step is in RECOGNISING their human side, and CONNECT with them on that side first.
So let's put everything together:
1. Women are not better than you, they are your equal partner.
2. Even though a woman is hot, she is still a little girl inside, looking for a man who can allow her
to be that girl.
3. Women don't have more power than you, unless you give them that power.
4. Women don't want that power - they want a man with that power.
That's your first mindset shift to understand. Stop being like a hungry dog chasing after a sausage.
Burn those ideas into your head before you even walk out of your house.