Post by Heywood Jablowme on May 17, 2019 17:16:53 GMT
All this Me Too business has caused guys that were already scared shitless to approach women in the first place has built up their fear of rejection to the point that they avoid women at all costs.
They KNOW in their hearts they WILL be rejected. So they quit trying. The good news is there are more available to those not yet willing to just give up and sit on their hands waiting for a vagina to fall on their dick.
The horror stories are just simply not true. Women are stil
very approachable if you do that in a human social way.
Approach anxiety is the term used to describe a man who feels highly nervous, awkward and distressed during (or even before) the act of approaching and getting to know women he has never met before. While the anxiety often derives from a greater social phobia, approach anxiety itself derives specifically from man's belief that he is very likely to be rejected by the woman of his desire in unpleasant and harsh ways. This almost in reality never happens.
We all get this anxiety at different levels from time to time, the rapid heart rate, clammy hands and excessive body sweating, thought paralysis (i.e 'going blank' or 'freezing up'), rapid speech, uncharacteristic stuttering, unintentional fidgeting and many other forms of physical or mental reactions to high stress. We get that because rejection sucks ass. It does sting a little. But it’s necessary. We like to be liked it’s a fact. Humans want to be accepted; we have an innate desire to feel acceptance from the opposite sex.
Unfortunately, life doesn’t always grant us with acceptance. Instead, it’s often laced with rebuffs, refusals, and everything in between. But rejection is actually necessary for your well-being. If you can get beyond the initial sting, it's a chance to reevaluate yourself to your advantage. It forces you to think about how others perceive you.
Afterward, it’s easy to focus on what went wrong. If only I said this, if only I did that.
Here’s the thing: Hanging onto these questions is a foolproof way to turn rejection into a major cock block.
Think of reflecting back on rejection as a light sent of body spray you put on in the morning, and it fades throughout the day. Don’t think of it as a marinade you constantly soak yourself in. Soaking in the “should haves” inhibits your potential to learn as growth opportunities morph into a pool of regrets.
Regrets are exactly what hold you back. It’s all about perception. Look at rejection as a stepping stone. When you do, you realize that those difficult experiences helped lead you to other successes in your life. Specifically, women.
Rejection, if you think about it, highlights habits, actions, or thoughts that you can improve on. It helps you shift your focus from how you messed up to how you can become better.
Of course, refocusing doesn’t mean changing yourself according to someone else’s standards. Fuck that. Rejection is just something that happens when you try for something and it doesn’t work out. This can be anything from an approach letdown to an ignored message on social media. It’s no big fucking deal.
When trying to meet women, regardless of the outcome, you’re putting yourself out there. And that’s always good.
Me, personally, I’ve been rejected plenty. And it used to knock me flat on my ass, and I’d pout for a week. And it would hold me back for long periods of time. I had to figure out how to get past this one last flaw in my brain.
The 1st thing was to recognize when you are being rejected so you can dip and step away without any further ego beat down.
Over time I figured out there are two distinct types of female rejection.
HARD REJECTION: This is a definitive NO NOT INTERESTED. The sting from hard rejection is felt instantly. You KNOW you’re being rejected without question. “Beat it” “Fuck Off” “You’re kidding right?” “Leave me alone!” “You’re ugly” “You’re old” Obvious. Any further action or words would be futile.
For dealing with hard rejection you have to realize it’s not about you, it’s more about them and what they perceive THEY want. No, in reality hard rejection is rare. Women don’t want to look cunty. Not even to the derelict they want to reject. So if you get a hard rejection like that you have my permission to write her off as cunty. Fuck her you want nothing to do with her anyway.
Now that said, if you are that guy getting constant hard rejection………..My dude, It’s you. You are reading the wrong shit right now. You need to stop right here honestly. Do a reset. Start reading How Building an Attractive Lifestyle, and start with at a minimum the basics. Because if you’re fat, outta shape, smell of pizza and fries, and think anything less than Jennifer Aniston is lowering your standards, that shit ain’t gonna fly brah! Actually she was in a movie where that very thing happened! Well this AIN’T THE MOVIES!
Ahhh her dance scene in We're the Millers is burned into my mental spank bank for eternity. What was I talking about? Oh yeah…
The next form of rejection is the most common. But it can be the most painful. Because if you don’t recognize you’re being rejected it can last for hours, days, months, even YEARS!
SOFT REJECTION. The reason you don’t recognize it is because it feels and sound like a maybe. Well I’m here and alive to tell you MAYBE DON’T MEAN SHIT. You get “You’re nice, but I’m real busy” “I like you but I have a lot going on right now” “I’m not looking for anyone” “I have a boyfriend. All of that means the same thing. But at least you are being counted as human.
How do you know for sure? She’s busy. She has a boyfriend.
Okay the stars were all in alignment, you collected all you nerves, did a quick cupped hand breath check, and approached an actual real live girl, and she unbelievably seems interested! And you start having a good conversation, it get flirtatious. You think things are flowing your way.
Suddenly she blurts out “I do have a boyfriend.” EEEeeeerrrppp! Slam on the brakes. No point in going any further. If she says she has a boyfriend, it doesn't matter if it's true or not, you’re pushing too hard, or you’ve already lost. For many women, saying “I have a boyfriend” is an indirect way of saying “I know you’re interested in me, but I’m not interested in you.” Take it for what it’s worth, say something cleaver, put an egg in your shoe and beat it.
She’s busy.
When a girl says that she's too busy to hang out with you, do you ever wondered whether she's not interested in you or actually busy that week with family, work or school? Based on, striking out 1000’s of times. The real personal experience of wondering what the actual fuck is ‘busy’ supposed to mean, I have determined a 100% foolproof way to tell. Ready to hear the secret? Here it is: If she is interested but actually busy with life, because YES people do get busy. So listen closely. IF… AND ONLY IF she tells you that she's busy but then suggests an alternate day to hang out with you. She’s probably actually busy. Otherwise, if she just leaves her response as a simple "Sorry, I'm busy" without a follow-up, she's not interested!
Even worse is when she gives you the second response but you then ask her, "So when are you free?" This puts her in an extremely uncomfortable situation because it doesn't give her the option to decline unless she says something like "Oh sorry, I'm never free," which she obviously would want to avoid because it's impolite. So then she panics and says, “uhh, I’m not sure,” to avoid explicitly telling you that she doesn’t want to hang out with you, ever. And you are bewildered by her response and think that women are confusing.
To summarize, here is a handy rule on how to ask her out, yet save face for both of you if she Isn’t Interested:
Ask her the following: “Hey, I was wondering if you’d like to join me at ___ pm to get a beer with me?” Be extremely specific! Don’t say, “Are you free in the next decade?” Or worse yet, “When are you free?” It’s much better to say, “Are you free this Saturday at 6:30pm?”
Option A: She says some variation of “yes”. Wow, that was easy!
Option B: She says, “Sorry, I have five appointments and two yoga classes this week, but how about _____? Does that work for you?” Congratulations, she was actually busy but is interested in you! You also gave her the option to decide on a date that works for her, you slick dog you!
Option C: She says, “I’m a bit busy then. Sorry, I don’t think I’ll be able to make it for a while.” Dhooo! Sorry my dude, she wasn’t into you. Do not, under any circumstances, suggest another day. This is because if she was truly interested, SHE’D suggest another date. Wish her the best with her life and go your separate ways.
For everyone out there who’s afraid of rejection this works, because by suggesting a very specific date and time, there’s a huge chance that she will actually be busy. This means that her response of, “Sorry, I’m busy” will be genuine, but now it gives HER the power to decide on a further course of action. Essentially, you’ve turned the tables and now she’s the one asking you out! Thus, if she suggests another time, congratulations, she just asked you out BOOM! If she doesn’t, that’s equivalent to her never having asked you out in the first place, so everything has stayed the same and you have lost nothing.
At the end of the day, why be afraid of what a woman will say, or how they will react? Those who attracted to you will react positively! And those who don’t aren’t worth shit.
You’re welcome.
Someone pay me.
