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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Feb 23, 2020 20:46:45 GMT
If you are a beginner or even at an intermediate level..i advise that you start going to game at bars and nightclubs, if you really want to quickly improve your game. I understand that alot of you like doing daygame rather than going out to bars & nightclubs, to work on your game. Probably because bars and nightclubs are very intimidating places to go to, to work on your game. And i agree with you 100%. I mean, you have your loud background music blasting..it's hard to even hear yourself speak sometimes..you will see some of the hottest, but the most intimidating girls that you will ever see (which will have you feeling very reluctant to approach them)..those girls will even be straight up rude to you for no good reason, and shit test you like you wouldn't even believe..you will have to deal with her cock blocking girl friends, that want to interrupt what you're trying to do, and they will try to pull her away from you..you will have to deal with AMOG guys, who also wants to approach and talk to that very same girl that you are trying to talk to..and just dealing with drunk and rude people in general, is tough..even the staff members at those places (like the bartenders and bouncers for an example) can also cock block you too. By going to these places (bars & nightclubs), you're basically signing up for dealing with all of these different types of adversities, that you will encounter in these bars & nightclub environments.
Most of my buddies, have to drink just to deal with it. Most of the times..i'm gaming at these places, while being completely sober for the entire night. So just imagine my anxiety levels at these bars & nightclubs, and how i must feel like on a nightly basis. So if you're a newbie or even intermediate..yeah, i surely can understand your hesitation to go to these places to game at night. Even i myself as a newbie..started out doing daygame solo for several months, before i even attempted doing nightgame solo. I used to be scared to go out at night by myself. And once i've even managed to muster up enough courage, to even step into the bar or nightclub..then i had to deal with myself, let alone having the courage to approach any girl that was there. And the myself part that i had to deal with was..not just approach anxiety..but i would also start to feel a panic attack coming on. Anyone who has ever had panic attacks before, knows what that feels like. It feels like you're about to pass out, or have a heart attack. I can promise you that i never had a heart attack, because i'm obviously still alive Lol. But i did come close to passing out a few times. And of course the girls (or anyone who i was chatting with)..would see me going through this, and would be creeped out by it, because they didn't understand what was happening, or what i was going through internally. So little bit by little bit, i had to plow further and further through interactions, while dealing with and managing my social anxiety, panic attacks, and my approach anxiety..all at the same time. It took me a few years, but i did it. And furthermore..i eventually thrived in these bar & nightclub environments, as you probably have read about in my field..journal..and lay reports. It just shows you how far i've come over the years..from that point. So if i could do it..then you definitely could do it!
The mindset that i had to get me through it all, and that got me to improve my game & self-development significantly throughout the years is..i looked at going to these bars & nightclubs venues, as if i was going to the gym every week. When i used to workout alot at the gym back in the day lol..i tried to workout 3 to 4 days a week. So i applied that same rule to going out to do pickup. So that's where my 3 to 4 days a week thing, comes from. And at a bar or nightclub, you will be able to get in alot of reps (approaches) in a very short period of time, because of the high volume of girls that will be all around you. And unlike in daygame..where you sometimes won't see a girl to approach for minutes (or even hours)..you won't have that problem in nightgame. So not only will your game improve by going to game at bars & nightclubs, but it will improve faster..because there's more girls for you to approach at a shorter distance (they are all packed into this one venue..as opposed to them being spread out all throughout the streets, like what you would get in daygame), and you will get more reps in a shorter period of time, than you would get in daygame. So your game will improve dramatically quicker by gaming at bars & nightclubs.
I advise you to do both daygame and nightgame. There are advantages to doing daygame as well, since you won't really experience any cock blocking in daygame, that you would experience in nightgame. And daygame is less intense (far less stimuli) than nightgame..so you can afford to be more chilled back, take a breath, and take your time with daygame..than you would with nightgame. You also get less competition in daygame, because 90% of guys don't approach girls during the daytime..that's just the facts. So there are benefits to doing both daygame and nightgame, so i encourage you guys to do both. I love daygame..i just don't have the time to do it as much like i used to do, back when i was working from home. Back then..i had much more of a flexible job schedule, and i could afford to do alot of daygame..which i did do alot of daygame at the time. I just do more nightgame these days (since most of my most recent infield stories that you have probably read about..have taken place at night) as mostly a function of work. I work during the daytime, and at night time is when i'm free. So during the daytime, before or after work..i may do 1 or 2 approaches before i go home in the evening. Sundays are the days when i'm most likely to do a daygame session..because i'm off from both of my jobs on Sundays. But again..gaming in bars & nightclubs, can help you to improve your game faster, because of the high volume of reps (approaches) that you will be able to get on any given night. And couple that with the mindset of..you treating it just like you would treat going to the gym every week. Doing those things, will surely cut down your learning curve dramatically. Going to bars & nightclubs to game, cuts down my learning curve dramatically..especially when my game gets rusty, because i just got back into pickup, after taking a break from game. I currently go out 4 days a week (i treat it the same, as if i was going to the gym every week). And i probably will be doing that every week, for the rest of this year.
-G
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Feb 26, 2020 17:08:33 GMT
You typed this from your phone didn't you?
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Feb 27, 2020 0:53:36 GMT
No, not really. What are you LOLing for?
Was that supposed to be a funny joke? It didn't seem all that funny to me.
-G
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Post by N2thevoid on Feb 27, 2020 7:39:22 GMT
No, not really. What are you LOLing for? Was that supposed to be a funny joke? It didn't seem all that funny to me. -G Was funny to me. |
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K527
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Post by K527 on Feb 29, 2020 10:55:32 GMT
The mindset that i had to get me through it all, and that got me to improve my game & self-development significantly throughout the years is..i looked at going to these bars & nightclubs venues, as if i was going to the gym every week. When i used to workout alot at the gym back in the day lol..i tried to workout 3 to 4 days a week. So i applied that same rule to going out to do pickup. So that's where my 3 to 4 days a week thing, comes from. And at a bar or nightclub, you will be able to get in alot of reps (approaches) in a very short period of time, because of the high volume of girls that will be all around you. And unlike in daygame..where you sometimes won't see a girl to approach for minutes (or even hours)..you won't have that problem in nightgame. So not only will your game improve by going to game at bars & nightclubs, but it will improve faster..because there's more girls for you to approach at a shorter distance (they are all packed into this one venue..as opposed to them being spread out all throughout the streets, like what you would get in daygame), and you will get more reps in a shorter period of time, than you would get in daygame. So your game will improve dramatically quicker by gaming at bars & nightclubs. gaming in bars & nightclubs, can help you to improve your game faster, because of the high volume of reps (approaches) that you will be able to get on any given night. And couple that with the mindset of..you treating it just like you would treat going to the gym every week. Doing those things, will surely cut down your learning curve dramatically. Going to bars & nightclubs to game, cuts down my learning curve dramatically..especially when my game gets rusty, because i just got back into pickup, after taking a break from game. I currently go out 4 days a week (i treat it the same, as if i was going to the gym every week). And i probably will be doing that every week, for the rest of this year. -G Interesting point of view G! To be more specific, which kind of approaches do you run in nightgame? I mostly employ the old classics (opinion openers), but I'm looking for something new to add to my arsenal |
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Feb 29, 2020 18:11:32 GMT
Interesting point of view G! To be more specific, which kind of approaches do you run in nightgame? I mostly employ the old classics (opinion openers), but I'm looking for something new to add to my arsenal Nah, i don't use opinion openers, but i can use them..given the situation. The type of openers that i use are "situational openers". It can be an opener based on what the girl is doing (like if she's smoking for an example - "Do you have a cigarette?")..or what she's wearing (her style for an example - "I like the plaid shirt that you are wearing. You must be Canadian, because they wear plaid shirts all the time")..or something in the environment that i noticed (like a fight in the street that i just saw a block away for an example - "Did you see that fight down there? it was wild!") I'll do an opinion opener, if it's honestly a question that i really want to ask, as opposed to a canned routine. I like situational openers because they feel more natural, improvised (un-canned), and "in the moment". And when i use them, alarm bells usually doesn't set off in the girl's mind..because my opener is improvised and un-canned. But even so..i'll still get the occasional shit test from girls like "Is that your pickup line?", or "How many times did you use this on other girls that you spoke to?", even though my opener was situational, and spur of the moment. I used a situational opener last night, when i was out doing solo night game. I was walking up to a line to a club that i ended up going into. There was a 3-set of 2 blonde girls and 1 black guy. I just opened with "Are you guys standing in line?". When i said it, i had solid eye contact..and i was relaxed. One of those girls replied to my question with "Yes. Are you in line to go inside?", and i said "Yes". Then one of the 2 girls tried to offer me some vitamin water drink, in the bottles that they were sipping on. She said "Drink it. I'm giving it away, because i already drank enough". I turned my head, and said "No". She kept trying to get me to take it, even though i kept resisting and saying "No". My hands were inside my jacket pockets the entire time while she kept putting it in my face, and i kept saying "No, i don't want it" and turning my head. She said "It's not like we're going to roofie you!", and then she just forcefully stashed the vitamin water bottle into my shirt lol. I just didn't want to drink it, because i wanted to game sober. I stayed in this set, and i just made myself become a part of their set. I just kept talking to them, as if we just became friends while we were waiting in line. The guy of the group, and the other girl went into the club ahead of us..because we had to wait to be scanned with the metal detector thingy, that the security/bouncer guy was holding in his hand. Before he got to me and her, i asked her "Would you want to dance with me for a little bit once we get inside?". She said "Yeah sure, i'll dance with you". Long story short..at the end of the night, i ended up fucking this girl (the same girl that tried to get me to drink, whatever that they were drinking in those vitamin water bottles) at her and her friend's hotel room (the hotel room belongs to the 2 blonde girls that was in this 3-set). As for the guy..the 3 of us ditched him Lol. Btw..the events in this infield story was so crazy, that it makes the cut, for me to put into my journal in the near future. So again..my simple situational opener in this scenario, that opened this group set for me was.. "Are you guys standing in line?" lol. -G |
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paul663
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Post by paul663 on May 10, 2021 1:46:16 GMT
G, you are a wonderful man.
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on May 10, 2021 3:14:11 GMT
G, you are a wonderful man. Thank you, i really appreciate that. I do what i can. -G |
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paul663
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Post by paul663 on May 11, 2021 6:37:00 GMT
G, you are a wonderful man. Thank you, i really appreciate that. I do what i can. -G I'm just saying that after what I read about your panic attack, I must say you are my hero. Women would probably turn into swimming pools if they heard you tell that story. How many guys have done what you did? Probably less than 1% of the population. |
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on May 17, 2021 1:07:04 GMT
I'm just saying that after what I read about your panic attack, I must say you are my hero. Women would probably turn into swimming pools if they heard you tell that story. How many guys have done what you did? Probably less than 1% of the population. Thank you for saying that. But the percentage is probably a little bit higher than that. More guys than we realize, have probably went through this same thing (or something similar to it). It's just that..this might be the first time, that you've seen it being mentioned and explained in detail..in a posted field report/journal report. Approach anxiety is very common..we all know this. But a panic attack triggered, by approach anxiety, while in set..you never hear about that. But again..more guys than you realize, have probably gone through this same thing. But if i'm the first one to mention it, in a pick up context..then i'm glad that i can bring that to the table. To inspire guys that do get panic attacks from approaching girls..to keep working at it, and never ever quit. And dude..i was noone special. I was just a regular dude (probably not normal), with some serious issues, that i had to fix. And i was probably the worst case, that you could ever imagine too. Those panic attacks that i had early on in the game (especially when i was approaching girls while being 100% sober) was very discouraging for me. And it really made me contemplate quitting pickup, many times over. But i was really determined to fix this problem, because i really thought that i had no choice. I knew what the consequences would be for me, if i didn't fix it. And i wanted to improve my skills in many different social situations..and i really wanted to get better with women. So i took working on it, very seriously. I had to train myself how to get control of those panic attacks, and hold them at bay..while always extending my conversations with girls (making them longer and longer), over time. So let's just say that, at one point (maybe for my first week or two..maybe even up to a month)..i could only talk to a very attractive girl, for about 1 minute before i started to feel a panic attack about to come on. I would try to hang in there, until my panic attack got too serious, for me to stay in set any more longer (that was usually once i felt too short of breath, and on the verge of passing out..because my heart was beating really fast). So maybe i was able to get to the 1 minute and 35 second mark, before i had to eject from the set..because of the overwhelming pressure that i was feeling from the panic attack. So i was able to extend my sets from 1 minute, to 1 minute and 35 seconds. So there was a little bit of improvement there. And once i saw that little bit of improvement..i knew that i could keep that trend going, and extend it a little bit further, all the time. To 2 minutes..to 5 minutes..to 10 minutes..to 15 minutes..to 30 minutes..to 45 minutes..to an hour..to 2 hours..etc. And i kept at it for years..and here i am, where i'm at today. It was hell to go through..but i'm glad that i did it. Because now, it can serve as an inspiration for other guys, who are going through the same thing. Because today..i no longer have panic attacks anymore..while i'm in set, or out of set. And it doesn't matter how long that i stay in set or out in the field for..on any given day or night that i'm out gaming. -G |
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Post by pilgrimmeister on May 17, 2021 15:36:13 GMT
I think the anxiety and panic attacks are often out of fear of being rejected, judged, called a creep etc and taking it personally. Think I mentioned before, there are plenty of girls out there will call any (in their eyes) unattractive guy who approaches (or even looks at then) them a creep, often before you even open your mouth. In those situations, I used to freak out and it would ruin the whole night. Now I accept its just part and parcel of gaming.
The anxiety goes away when the expectation or hope goes away. Once the pressure to get laid goes away, it just becomes more about having fun, and becuase you enter into sets with the intention to have fun, they are typically a lot more receptive around you, as the pressure is no longer there, and your body language and speech oozes confidence and ability to make them laugh.
So instead of worrying about getting laid, I enter into large sets and have a bit of fun with them. Whatever happens, happens.
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paul663
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Post by paul663 on May 19, 2021 6:54:53 GMT
Great shit, "G". You know, you sound like a guy who pulled himself up by his own bootstraps. I realize now that I can do this on my own. I just got to throw myself into the fire there like you. And no matter what happens, don't care about it. Even if I get laughed at. I won't die or get killed, will I? Of course not so that's what I'm going to do. Thanks! Clubs are a good place to start.
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paul663
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Post by paul663 on May 19, 2021 7:04:01 GMT
I think the anxiety and panic attacks are often out of fear of being rejected, judged, called a creep etc and taking it personally. Think I mentioned before, there are plenty of girls out there will call any (in their eyes) unattractive guy who approaches (or even looks at then) them a creep, often before you even open your mouth. In those situations, I used to freak out and it would ruin the whole night. Now I accept its just part and parcel of gaming. The anxiety goes away when the expectation or hope goes away. Once the pressure to get laid goes away, it just becomes more about having fun, and becuase you enter into sets with the intention to have fun, they are typically a lot more receptive around you, as the pressure is no longer there, and your body language and speech oozes confidence and ability to make them laugh. So instead of worrying about getting laid, I enter into large sets and have a bit of fun with them. Whatever happens, happens. For me it was an 18 year old girl who was new in town and just a fearful person in general. I approached her on the street, and I didn't say anything out of the ordinary, just a normal pick-up interaction, but she still panicked and told her mother afterwards. Her mother, another idiot, freaked out and called the cops on me. They didn't do anything to me, because I didn't do anything illicit. But the whole experience messed with me. I always had a fear of jail. I STILL feel like every time I go out I'm risking getting in a lot of trouble even if I don't do anything wrong! This is the real reason why I haven't done pickup in a while. I still can't get over the fear of something going terribly wrong. It's so messed up because in this country you don't even have to be guilty in order to get wrongfully arrested for something! Or even sent to prison! This is the main mental obstruction that I have today. |
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on May 21, 2021 1:34:31 GMT
Great shit, "G". You know, you sound like a guy who pulled himself up by his own bootstraps. I realize now that I can do this on my own. I just got to throw myself into the fire there like you. And no matter what happens, don't care about it. Even if I get laughed at. I won't die or get killed, will I? Of course not so that's what I'm going to do. Thanks! Clubs are a good place to start. Yes, i did pull myself up by my own bootstraps. And my 1st year in the game, was just me..all solo. I didn't have any wingman to assist me at all, in my 1st year. And i didn't get my 1st wingman, until about mid-way through my 2nd year in the game. So yeah..you can certainly do it too, if i was able to do it. And yeah, you will have some embarrassing moments too. I remember back in 2016..i was doing night game one night. I approached a group of black chicks (2 of them were kinda hot..the other 2, not so much lol), walking adjacent to me on the sidewalk. And i ended up sitting with them, at a table inside of a bar. One of the worst things that can happen to you in a situation like that, happened to me. Which was..i had a state crash. And what that looks like and feels like is..you basically lose your charisma, you lose your confident frame, and you run out of things to say to these girls. Oh, and your energy level goes way down too. So things just got real awkward, from that point on. And like sharks that smell blood in the water..2 of them started shit testing me immediately. And if you've ever hung around black women before, you probably know how ruthless and savage that they can be, when they are very opinionated about you Lol. Of course i tried to play off that fake confidence and cockyness, that i wasn't really feeling in that moment..which i'm sure, that it became obvious to them. So i left the table, and exited the bar that we were in. And since their table was outside, on the balcony of that bar..i could hear them laughing and talking about me, as i was walking away. It was a painful experience lol, but i looked at that situation as a character builder for me. And that's the thing..you gotta reframe these bad experiences, as a learning experience or a lesson for you. And at the end of the day..it will only add on to your experience with women. And they make for great stories too. So it's all good! That kind of situation, will happen to you at some point in time, the deeper that you get into the game, and the longer that you stay in it. And in those days..i was probably going out 4 days a week. And it didn't matter to me, what type of mood that i was in..or whether my confidence was high or low..i was gonna go out, and approach girls regardless. And i had really good logistics back then too. I was only minutes away from the downtown metropolitan area, and within walking distance from the bars and clubs. So on a rare occasion..i may have even gone out for a 5th day, just for the hell of it. So i was bound to have an experience like that, at some point in time. And btw..my story and your story (with the girl who freaked out, and had her mom call the cops on you), are rarities that you will experience every once in a while, in pickup..but not often. And those experiences tend to happen because..of a miscommunication on your part..maybe you were uncalibrated when you approached..or you were having a bad day or a bad night..or you just had bad luck/bad timing (wrong people..wrong place..wrong time). And those aren't the norms, that you will encounter either. On the flip side of that..you will reach a point, when the game does slow down for you..quite a bit. And it will seem to you like, the game is coming to you. And the girls will just seem to fall right into your lap (figuratively and literally lol). I've experienced both..the good, the bad..and the really good, and the really bad. Lol Also nightgame is a good place to start if you are a newbie. At least you will have alot of volume, to get alot of approach practice in. As for me..i started off doing daygame. If you read my last journal infield story, that i posted in my journal (which you obviously did)..i mentioned exactly why i started with daygame first. I didn't start doing nightgame until a little bit later. Mostly because i was scared to game at night. Hard to believe it..but that's who i was back then. -G |
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