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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 27, 2020 6:13:11 GMT
10 hours? Too much bother find someone local.
You going to drive 10 hours just to get laid?
Or are you wanting a relationship with a girl 10 hours away, with kids, who is clearly ambivalent to hang out...
right out the gate you're making life hard for yourself
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 27, 2020 6:41:41 GMT
10 hours? Too much bother find someone local. You going to drive 10 hours just to get laid? Or are you wanting a relationship with a girl 10 hours away, with kids, who is clearly ambivalent to hang out... right out the gate you're making life hard for yourself If it was a booty call I wouldn’t consider it. I’m looking for a relationship. My job allows me to live wherever I want and I have about 2 million FF miler racked up so I can fly there whenever for free. She’s got kids, youngest is in HS. Not a problem...
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 27, 2020 6:41:56 GMT
10 hours? Too much bother find someone local. You going to drive 10 hours just to get laid? Or are you wanting a relationship with a girl 10 hours away, with kids, who is clearly ambivalent to hang out... right out the gate you're making life hard for yourself If it was a booty call I wouldn’t consider it. I’m looking for a relationship. My job allows me to live wherever I want and I have about 2 million FF miler racked up so I can fly there whenever for free. She’s got kids, youngest is in HS. Not a problem...
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 27, 2020 7:07:57 GMT
Playing it way too safe and it shows like you're not trying to disrupt the exotic bird. Take risks, be far more bold (NOT rude). Think assertive - how would a confident guy approach this? He'd likely be more direct about his interest towards her (what this is, aka setting the 'frame'). He'd be decisive about plans. Tell her what you want to do with her, show interest by being confident - even if you have to fake it initially. The tentative plans looks weak. You already gave her an out. Something will probably magically 'come up' before you are to meet or she'll intentionally forget the plans. Today is Wednesday, why is she offering 2 weeks from now when she works Monday? Is she not available between now and Monday? Why not just legit ask her out? Tell her you enjoy talking to her and would like to meet her, preferably in a public place to ensure she's not a serial killer. This shit aint rocket science, drop the trying to impress her shtick and go for the jugular in finding out if she truly likes you RATHER than avoiding this in a desperate attempt to try get her to like you. I get what you’re saying and if she was local I’d be 100% onboard with it. But, she’s not. It’s a 10 hour drive to her place which is currently being hit by a hurricane. So the dynamics are certainly different. I offered next weekend but she’s on call...she’s a nurse. Again, if she was local it wouldn’t be a big deal but imagine flying out there and her getting called in to work. So the following weekend is the earliest time that works. I don’t have time during the week because of work so...process of elimination. While a date 2 weeks out is certainly “tentative” at best...it sure beats being in the position I was in yesterday which is not even getting a text reply. So you're already happy with the breadcrumbs she's giving you because it's better than being ignored. You gotta expect more of woman man. Like N2 said, these tentative plans are weak. If she would be 10 hours away I would want to know damn sure if this was going to happen, or else I wouldn't even commit. You could have easily said 'which day are you sure about' or something like that. Now she already has an excuse to bail. Just zoom out and look at the facts: -Youre 10 hours away -She didn't call you back while she said she would -She isn't sure if she can go out with you -Those tentative plans are already good enough for you. -You are making the effort to travel, she doesn't have to do shit. This has desperation written all over it. She has almost zero investment in you, while yours is huge. This is a recipe for disaster, and the fake 'you have to make up for it' line is not going to make her invest. Don't you have any interesting girls in your area?
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 27, 2020 13:24:28 GMT
You’re wasting your time kid.
Her interest is quite low. A woman interested will move small mountains to make time for you. This is requiring too much effort for no real payout. This is all your ego clinging on to well, nothing. She can be texting because she’s bored, and likely her son is really her way of keeping open a reason to cancel. For all you know she’s keeping her schedule open in hopes the guy she’s interested in will want to hangout.
You gotta figure this out on your own though.
How old is she anyway?
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 27, 2020 13:42:57 GMT
You’re wasting your time kid. Her interest is quite low. A woman interested will move small mountains to make time for you. This is requiring too much effort for no real payout. This is all your ego clinging on to well, nothing. She can be texting because she’s bored, and likely her son is really her way of keeping open a reason to cancel. For all you know she’s keeping her schedule open in hopes the guy she’s interested in will want to hangout. You gotta figure this out on your own though. How old is she anyway? Kid? We’re both in our 40s.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Aug 27, 2020 17:37:42 GMT
If it was a booty call I wouldn’t consider it. I’m looking for a relationship. This mind set will trip you up every time. Ever hear the phrase putting cart before the horse? It's is a figure of speech in which what should be put last is in fact put first. Used to suggest something is done contrary to a conventional or culturally expected order in a relationship. So many dudes fuck themselves doing it. First It's simply a chance to see if there's a connection. Then we can worry about combining plate settings, linens and custody of moody teenagers. FIRST there needs to be a burning DESIRE! Boy'o First you need to ROCK HER WORLD! First you need to take her to pound town on the fuck truck. Am I painting a picture here?
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Aug 27, 2020 17:47:24 GMT
Most relationships are started from booty calls, then casual flings, then move onto dates, weekends away, more sex, then eventually she asks the relationship question, as you would then become a drug that she can't give up and needs to lock you down.
Pursuing her with the intent of a relationship will lead to her ghosting or placing you in the friendzone. A relationship with a woman shouldn't even be on your mind until you have been riding her for a few months and her behaviour has been up to par.
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Post by JackZero on Aug 27, 2020 18:25:07 GMT
I am almost in complete agreement with Heywood and pilgrim. I also understand where you are coming from, OP, and I don't necessarily think it's good or bad...it just may be right for you. I'm sure that you are looking for a relationship, but you're already sexually attracted to her and now you're trying to fit her into a box of someone that you'd like a relationship with. You haven't had sex with her. You haven't seen her bitchy side. You haven't even seen her in person. It's way too early to say you are going to pursue a relationship. If you are looking to have a relationship, you are going to be a catch to a woman that wants one. Get in her presence and make her earn a guy that wants a relationship but be absolutely sure that you're picking a woman that you want more than you want a relationship.
Side note: A woman in her forties is going to want you to sexually desire her. She'll like the relationship potential in you but she'll go crazy over the guy who will let her feel like she was at 25 when dicks were being offered to her the moment she walked out the door.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Aug 27, 2020 18:56:58 GMT
What's love got to do, got to do with it.
What's love but a second hand emotion.
-Tina Turner.
Bitch got it right.
We focus so much of our attention, time, energy, and thirst into a relationship… however CONNECTION is the true key!
Like I was saying and Jack and Pilgrim are trying to get at, and doing a fine job. Bro, the relationship is not the horse, it’s the cart.
CONNECTION is the horse, and the relationship is the amazing cart we pile all our energy into, after you have that connection.
So how do we connect with her? intimacy between the two of you.
The idea is that mutual vulnerability through desire and intimacy fosters closeness. By you finding her desirable, she is allowing herself to be vulnerable with you.
'Relationship' should not enter the equation until long you two humans know, respect and are comfortable with each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. In that order.
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 28, 2020 0:22:38 GMT
What's love got to do, got to do with it. What's love but a second hand emotion. -Tina Turner. Bitch got it right. We focus so much of our attention, time, energy, and thirst into a relationship… however CONNECTION is the true key!Like I was saying and Jack and Pilgrim are trying to get at, and doing a fine job. Bro, the relationship is not the horse, it’s the cart. CONNECTION is the horse, and the relationship is the amazing cart we pile all our energy into, after you have that connection. So how do we connect with her? intimacy between the two of you. The idea is that mutual vulnerability through desire and intimacy fosters closeness. By you finding her desirable, she is allowing herself to be vulnerable with you. 'Relationship' should not enter the equation until long you two humans know, respect and are comfortable with each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. In that order. Looks like I finally rubbed off you on after all these years.
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 28, 2020 0:23:38 GMT
"The idea is that mutual vulnerability through desire and intimacy fosters closeness. By you finding her desirable, she is allowing herself to be vulnerable with you. "
Wow, I am impressed Heywood!
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Post by N2thevoid on Aug 28, 2020 0:23:48 GMT
"The idea is that mutual vulnerability through desire and intimacy fosters closeness. By you finding her desirable, she is allowing herself to be vulnerable with you. "
Wow, I am impressed Heywood!
For a second there you sounded like a relationship therapist.
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Post by tordivel on Aug 28, 2020 4:36:07 GMT
What's love got to do, got to do with it. What's love but a second hand emotion. -Tina Turner. Bitch got it right. We focus so much of our attention, time, energy, and thirst into a relationship… however CONNECTION is the true key! Like I was saying and Jack and Pilgrim are trying to get at, and doing a fine job. Bro, the relationship is not the horse, it’s the cart. CONNECTION is the horse, and the relationship is the amazing cart we pile all our energy into, after you have that connection. So how do we connect with her? intimacy between the two of you. The idea is that mutual vulnerability through desire and intimacy fosters closeness. By you finding her desirable, she is allowing herself to be vulnerable with you. 'Relationship' should not enter the equation until long you two humans know, respect and are comfortable with each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. In that order. Why is it so? I mean for a man it could have easily been so that a mental and emotional connection was the gateway to intimacy, or that a mental and emotional connection creates sexual attraction. Why is it different for women, and how do they perceive and experience this differently compared to us?
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Post by JackZero on Aug 28, 2020 9:11:44 GMT
What's love got to do, got to do with it. What's love but a second hand emotion. -Tina Turner. Bitch got it right. We focus so much of our attention, time, energy, and thirst into a relationship… however CONNECTION is the true key! Like I was saying and Jack and Pilgrim are trying to get at, and doing a fine job. Bro, the relationship is not the horse, it’s the cart. CONNECTION is the horse, and the relationship is the amazing cart we pile all our energy into, after you have that connection. So how do we connect with her? intimacy between the two of you. The idea is that mutual vulnerability through desire and intimacy fosters closeness. By you finding her desirable, she is allowing herself to be vulnerable with you. 'Relationship' should not enter the equation until long you two humans know, respect and are comfortable with each other physically, emotionally and psychologically. In that order. Why is it so? I mean for a man it could have easily been so that a mental and emotional connection was the gateway to intimacy, or that a mental and emotional connection creates sexual attraction. Why is it different for women, and how do they perceive and experience this differently compared to us? How often does that happen for a man? Honestly, how many guys have you heard say that they thought a woman was physically unattractive but it was their mental and emotional connection that he was attracted to? Most men are mostly driven by their sex drive. Women are not (for the most part). We have this chemical that flows through us called testosterone. This stuff is what usually keeps sex on our mind. Women are different. Their sex drives are not like ours. Theirs, at the base of it, is driven at a mental level. That's why you see me mention over and over again that women look for two things in a man. One is fantasy and the other is companionship. Fantasy is what opens the door. Once she gets to know him, she no longer fantasizes about him. Who do you think is going to get her excited? Is it the guy that will be a good boyfriend and always leave the toilet seat down or the guy that would lay her on the bed and explore her body? Don't answer...it's the guy who will explore her body.
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