The Greatest Night of Pickup I've had in Seven Years

[siliconmagician]

Yes! THIS is how a night of pickup should go! 

Before I even start, story I am about to tell you all about something that is going to sound unbelievable. So I'm going to add a small bit of proof. 

This here is the link to a soundcloud recording of my recent cover of Lionel Richie's Hello on harmonica. The reason I want you to listen to this is to know I'm not bullshitting you when I tell this story because I barely believe it myself and I actually lived it not a half hour ago. Trust me, you will enjoy listening to it.


soundcloud.com/patrick-turner-18/lionel-richie-hello-harmonica-cover

Now that you've listened to that. I want you to imagine you are one of 5 beautiful women left in the bar at the end of the night, a smashingly dressed man in front you and playing that shit LIVE. Not only that but Lionel himself singing his award winning smash hit as well.

I had that experience tonight, and I'm about to tell you all about it. I just want you know that I'm not exaggerating or shitting you around.

So the night begins I'm at work and I see a facebook post from my buddy Nathan. Nathan is a guitar player of extraordinary quality. When David Allan Coe and other country stars come into Cincinnati to play, this motherfucker is the dude they call and say "Come play with us tonight" He's that good. So I dress up just like in my avatar, only difference is I'm in all navy blue denim, including the fedora. So I'm looking like the shit and I know it.

Well Nathan makes a living as a musician playing solo acts acoustically at bars all around SW Ohio with his guitar and his beautiful voice. How many musicians you know good enough to go out completely alone with nothing but a guitar and some sound equipment and make a hundred bucks a night 7 nights a weeks? 

So I see he posted he was going to be at this honky tonk boar in Dayton. I look at the website and the picture are full of hotties. The owner herself is a hottie.

www.facebook.com/lovswhiskeybarrelsaloon/

Here is the facebook page for the place with Nathan's picture on the page.

So me and Nathan are old high school pals and he's a very close friend and I often go out with him to venues like this to back him up with my harmonica.

I'd never been to this venue before but something told me, call it player's intuition that this was one spot I needed to be that night. It was a country-western  bar up in Dayton. Real nice though as I would find out when I arrived.

I drove FOURTY MILES from my spot into Dayton to attend this show.

So I drive there and walk in and Nathan is just starting the first set. When I get there, it's me, Nathan, some other dude and the cute bartender who will play a very big part in the story to come.

No big deal, it's only 7pm. It's early so I order my first beer of the night and sit down at a table and watch Nathan play his first set. I like to wait until the height of the second set when everyone has arrived to get on stage and do my thing because I want to ensure the maximum number of single females are in the venue before I whip out my harps and start playing.

So a few songs in Nathan is like "Man, grab your harps and lets go. Lets play Luckenback Texas. (by Waylon Jennings)" So I'm like "fuck yeah lets do this" because a couple of cuties had already walked in the door. But these cuties weren't broken down women, they were in their mid 20's to early 30's. WTF? I thought. Women that are like, my perfect age? I was entranced.

So we get to jamming and the whole bar is just loving us. My harp skills added with Nathan's guitar just has everyone blown away and they are just rolling up to us and worshipping us like some kind of musical gods is the closest I can describe, and these are young people. 

The night was so eventful I can't possibly tell all the interactions I had. But I will try.

So everyone loves the Harmonica, they are just like "Dude, that is so awesome!" and I used it ruthlessly throughout the night. During breaks between sets I'm all over the bar talking to every hot chick in the place and soaking up the love. Nathan is married now to a full dime piece, he gives zero fucks about groupies lol. As we played they were walking right past me because where we were set up was right by the front door and there wasn't any stage so I'm moving around to get out of people's way as their coming in even as I'm jamming out. People were walking by me as we're playing awesome country-western tunes and a lot more and it was just a blast because all these gorgeous chicks ranging from 21 to 30 where rolling in the door and there were almost not dudes! It was so perfect a scene that Mystery himself wouldn't have believed it possible.

So I'm all over the bar, chick here, dude there. Smoking a blunt in the back with a couple black kids in their 20's here and everywhere i go it's "damn dude, that harmonica is bad ass. How you learn that?" which is typical for me.

The show ends at 10pm and I'm on the back patio smoking a cigarette  and chatting with a group of awesome young adults and some awesome modern pop-country shit comes on. I can't even remember the name but this group of hot chicks was singing along and commenting on how much they loved this song. I struck like a snake. I pulled out the correct harmonica and started playing along with the song right there. The whole patio, at least a dozen people, most of them hot chicks went nuts and  are blown away and start dancing around on the back patio and singing along. It's just me, my harp, the country music playing over the speakers and a crowd of dancing people. I LOVE having that power. That I can with my very breath get an entire patio of people dancing and singing and just having a blast where before they were just chilling drinking.

So the song ends and everyone is cheering and literally dancing their way back into the bar congo line style as I bring up the rear playing the last of the song on my harp and the rest of the bar sees us all coming in and it all just spreads.

Well its 11pm and Covid mandates are for 10 but nobody was trying to really end the party and somehow at the end of the night After everyone was left it was me, this 21 yr old black kid who I had been talking too and was just a fucking awesome kid and 5 fuckin hot blondes including the bartender and the party was just getting started.

So we're just chilling and I'm ripping them up with anecdotes and routines and every now and then I'd whip out my harps and play along with a song.

So then I got an idea. I had just recorded that cover the other day and I thought. I'm gonna play that shit for these girls right now and make them wet their dresses.

So I start talking shit about how I could bet I could make all of them fall in love with me and my harp in 3 minutes. They thought I was shitting and were all like "Do it! Play it! Lets hear it!"

So I went over, dropped a dollar into the jukebox and played Lionel Richie's Hello exactly as you heard it in the link above. Only I hammed it up big time. I went around to each of those 5 women individually and played to each one of them a few measures at a time. They creamed their shit right there, all of them just like I said they would. 

By the time that 3 minute song was up, I was set. They were BEGGING me to come back tomorrow night for Karaoke and do it again so they could bring all their friends to watch. 

I said "Oh you know it ladies, bring ALL your friends. I will play this and a lot more and have you all entertained for the night."

So 11:30pm hit and the bar HAD to close so everyone is all like "awww Covid sucks" and filed out and the whole time it's "PROMISE us you'll come tomorrow." and I"m like "baby I wouldn't miss it for the world. I'm telling you, bring all your friends." and flirted shamelessly.

So tomorrow night at Karaoke night, I'm going to repeat this act in front of a shitload of beautiful women and plenty more and have all these women losing their shit over it, then I'm going to pick one and take her home with me. Guaranteed.

Definitely the greatest night of pickup I've had in seven years.