Post by Kartel on Nov 21, 2020 13:55:26 GMT
about two months ago while i visited a friend of mine living in another country at circa 250 miles from where i live, i warmed approached this single female friend of him while we were all hanging around town. for my personality type, the direct approach high risk high reward style is what works best. so as soon as i got a moment alone with her while around town i told her i find her incredibly attractive and complimented her on some details i noticed about her. both me and her are between 30 and 40 years old. she accepted to meet me again the next day. the next day, while around town i escalated kino from social touching to friendly touching, and among other things, i told her also that i am not interested in one night stands and that a serious relationship is the only thing that could motivate me to invest myself further in our interaction. at the end of the day we ended up at her place watching a movie while she put her head to rest on my chest and i put my arm around her. observing how our interaction evolved, it seemed all too fast to me, so i came to the conclusion that trying to push things further that night would only make things awkward. after the movie she said that i could sleep on her couch for that night so i did. the next day we spent all day around town and at the end of the day we ended up in her bed this time. we started kissing, we escalated into petting and when i was about to take her pajama pants off she put the brakes with "please no". i thought that the cause of her last minute resistance probably was too little qualification and comfort, so i slowly deescalated. we fell asleep cuddled. the next day we spent it together around town and as i was about to leave the day after i said would be nice that i sleep at my friend's house this last night otherwise would be not respectful towards my friend given that all this trip was actually to see him. is what i then did and the next morning i left.
after i left we kept in touch via phone and text messages. what i noticed is that when i write to her generic topics related to interests and hobbies we have in common she replies almost immediately. but when i write to her about things we could do in the future together, most of the times she doesn't reply at all, giving me dead air. this happened 3-4 times in this time frame of almost two months since we met. after each time she gave me dead air i deleted her number with the intention to 1) prevent myself from the possibility of contacting her (among my standards i have also zero tolerance for dead air in early stages of a potential relationship) 2) consider her already nexted and move on. it happened that after each of these 3-4 times i deleted her number she contacted me again after about 1-2 weeks and restarted the conversation. few days ago was the last time when she restarted the conversation opening herself to me with an emotional message saying "the covid restrictions make me feel very sad. i feel like wanting to cry all day long". i tried to cheer her up, which i think i managed as the next day she said she was feeling better. i then intentionally brought again the conversation about a fun activity we could do together the next time would be possible for us to meet, with the purpose to see what is her reaction. her reaction: dead air again. i want to make this clear as maybe is relevant: she never responded with any clear "no" to each of these attempts that i made bringing the conversation about things we could do together in the future, her response to each of these attempts was always only dead air.
i don't really know how to interpret this dead air in this specific situation - on one hand we know that generally a woman when she is not interested she doesn't react, on the other hand she keeps investing herself by always answering promptly to my messages when i write to her about generic topics and she always restarted the conversation each time i wanted to next her. looking at all the interaction we had i came to this possible conclusions: she is not truly interested in having a relationship with me, she only wants to have me as someone she can speak to whenever she feels lonely or sad. but because i am aware that i am unable to see this situation objectively given that i am the main character of the story, i have doubts about my conclusion. what is your opinion about this, what is going on in her head about us, what does she want from me?
after i left we kept in touch via phone and text messages. what i noticed is that when i write to her generic topics related to interests and hobbies we have in common she replies almost immediately. but when i write to her about things we could do in the future together, most of the times she doesn't reply at all, giving me dead air. this happened 3-4 times in this time frame of almost two months since we met. after each time she gave me dead air i deleted her number with the intention to 1) prevent myself from the possibility of contacting her (among my standards i have also zero tolerance for dead air in early stages of a potential relationship) 2) consider her already nexted and move on. it happened that after each of these 3-4 times i deleted her number she contacted me again after about 1-2 weeks and restarted the conversation. few days ago was the last time when she restarted the conversation opening herself to me with an emotional message saying "the covid restrictions make me feel very sad. i feel like wanting to cry all day long". i tried to cheer her up, which i think i managed as the next day she said she was feeling better. i then intentionally brought again the conversation about a fun activity we could do together the next time would be possible for us to meet, with the purpose to see what is her reaction. her reaction: dead air again. i want to make this clear as maybe is relevant: she never responded with any clear "no" to each of these attempts that i made bringing the conversation about things we could do together in the future, her response to each of these attempts was always only dead air.
i don't really know how to interpret this dead air in this specific situation - on one hand we know that generally a woman when she is not interested she doesn't react, on the other hand she keeps investing herself by always answering promptly to my messages when i write to her about generic topics and she always restarted the conversation each time i wanted to next her. looking at all the interaction we had i came to this possible conclusions: she is not truly interested in having a relationship with me, she only wants to have me as someone she can speak to whenever she feels lonely or sad. but because i am aware that i am unable to see this situation objectively given that i am the main character of the story, i have doubts about my conclusion. what is your opinion about this, what is going on in her head about us, what does she want from me?
