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Post by curtis72 on Jan 24, 2021 12:59:40 GMT
Hello there's a girl I'm talking to that I met on Tinder, she seems fun and interesting but I'm not really sure I want anything especially romantic with her. We've met once and we made out at halfway point of the date and kissed goodbye. I'd quite like to be friends with her as she has a wide circle and I'm new to the city - is there a genuine way to get the LJBF thing and it be legit.
I've never been friendzoned on account of discovering game as a teenager and it shaping my formative experiences with dating, so I'm not sure how guys manage it.
Kind of anti-PUA question
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Post by JackZero on Jan 25, 2021 2:17:01 GMT
I can't wait to hear answers for this question. I have a belief on it, but I know it's based on my own thinking.
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Jan 25, 2021 12:08:07 GMT
Just tell how how great you think she is as a person and would love to hang out with her and have a laugh, but you don't have any romantic interest.
There is no point playing games and beating around the bush.
Also, becoming friends with someone just for the purpose of meeting new girls is creepy and can backfire.
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Post by curtis72 on Jan 25, 2021 12:30:00 GMT
Just tell how how great you think she is as a person and would love to hang out with her and have a laugh, but you don't have any romantic interest. There is no point playing games and beating around the bush. Also, becoming friends with someone just for the purpose of meeting new girls is creepy and can backfire. Thanks for response. It’s not just to use her for meeting new girls, she seems okay and I don’t have any friends or contacts - which are particularly difficult to gain now. |
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Post by Lord Charm on Jan 25, 2021 15:13:37 GMT
Well, some have problems with getting laid, others can't stop doing it  I know I don't have enough knowledge to come here and give advice, but I hope you'll find it useful. (Also I want more stars on my profile lol) In my opinion, if you don't want things to get romantic, just stop doing what you are doing with girls you want to attract. I think if you don't escalate physically, you're good. Now, from my little experience, I once had a conversation with 2 girls (colleagues of mine) about who would they like to wake up next to in the morning. They started the subject, I just witnessed what they were saying. At a certain point, they told me that I am on their list. And back then, I thought it was a joke and told them that we are just friends, and I don't see myself sleeping with them. Now, analysing that interaction, I think I could have done things differently and get myself some "experience", but I don't regret what I did either. To this day, we are still friends and hang out together. My point is, why waiting for her to friendzone you, when you can do the same thing to her? In this way, you can also maintain your "never friendzoned" reputation Good luck! |
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Post by JackZero on Jan 25, 2021 19:12:54 GMT
When a girl comes to a guy after a date, or even a few dates, and says "let's just be friends" it is her letting him down gently. In general, there is no real intent on a friendship being developed. Most guys will agree to the new direction to the relationship because they believe that he will eventually change her mind.
If a guy goes to a girl and says "let's just be friends", we tend to really mean it. We generally have a motivation to remain friends outside of letting someone down gently. If a woman agrees to the new direction of the relationship, most of the time she will do so thinking that she will eventually change his mind about her.
The difference between the two scenarios are intention. The thing that's in common is that the person being put into the friendzone tends to have hope that things will turn around.
Here's what I'm getting at and I'll use Pilgrim's words
This is the best way to go because there is no real trick to it. However, if your foundation of your interactions was based on attraction then a girl that men generally find attractive will probably either not agree to it or not take it seriously. A girl with a scarcity mindset will likely go along with it. This is where you may really want to think about what you are doing when you make that friendship offer because if she agrees to it then you are giving her false hope even if that's not your intention.
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Post by N2thevoid on Jan 25, 2021 22:54:39 GMT
When a girl comes to a guy after a date, or even a few dates, and says "let's just be friends" it is her letting him down gently. In general, there is no real intent on a friendship being developed. Most guys will agree to the new direction to the relationship because they believe that he will eventually change her mind. If a guy goes to a girl and says "let's just be friends", we tend to really mean it. We generally have a motivation to remain friends outside of letting someone down gently. If a woman agrees to the new direction of the relationship, most of the time she will do so thinking that she will eventually change his mind about her. The difference between the two scenarios are intention. The thing that's in common is that the person being put into the friendzone tends to have hope that things will turn around. Here's what I'm getting at and I'll use Pilgrim's words This is the best way to go because there is no real trick to it. However, if your foundation of your interactions was based on attraction then a girl that men generally find attractive will probably either not agree to it or not take it seriously. A girl with a scarcity mindset will likely go along with it. This is where you may really want to think about what you are doing when you make that friendship offer because if she agrees to it then you are giving her false hope even if that's not your intention. ^sticky this Sir |
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Post by curtis72 on Jan 28, 2021 11:57:59 GMT
When a girl comes to a guy after a date, or even a few dates, and says "let's just be friends" it is her letting him down gently. In general, there is no real intent on a friendship being developed. Most guys will agree to the new direction to the relationship because they believe that he will eventually change her mind. If a guy goes to a girl and says "let's just be friends", we tend to really mean it. We generally have a motivation to remain friends outside of letting someone down gently. If a woman agrees to the new direction of the relationship, most of the time she will do so thinking that she will eventually change his mind about her. The difference between the two scenarios are intention. The thing that's in common is that the person being put into the friendzone tends to have hope that things will turn around. Here's what I'm getting at and I'll use Pilgrim's words This is the best way to go because there is no real trick to it. However, if your foundation of your interactions was based on attraction then a girl that men generally find attractive will probably either not agree to it or not take it seriously. A girl with a scarcity mindset will likely go along with it. This is where you may really want to think about what you are doing when you make that friendship offer because if she agrees to it then you are giving her false hope even if that's not your intention. Thanks for write up It was a meeting from Tinder, so some selectiveness based on attractiveness has gone into it, but she was American and we just mainly talked about basketball prior to meeting. So it wasn't like sex was expected/implied So from what you've written, you don't really think she'd sincerely to agree to being pals |
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vagabond
MPUA Forum Newbie
Sup, I'm a university student researching-by-doing.
Posts: 18
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Post by vagabond on Jan 28, 2021 15:13:53 GMT
It's basically already been said, but I've had to deal with this sort of thing before and really the only answer is always to just be 100% sincere with your intentions. If you're unsure what you want out of a relationship (not a strictly romantic, but any relationship), that's to communicate as long as you're not purposefully keeping your feelings vague/uncertain to deceive the other person.
Ultimately its only been one date, you don't owe each other anything major, so you don't strictly owe her a big spiel about why you don't want to date her. If you're both adults this is a discussion easily had and I don't think you should feel like you've lead her on or anything.
But like JZ said, you have to be certain that you want to be friends if you're going to say 'let's be friends'. If you're not really sure then I don't think you're under any major pressure to be definitive about what you want. Just make sure when you are definitively stating what you want to her, you actually mean it.
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Post by JackZero on Jan 28, 2021 17:36:37 GMT
When a girl comes to a guy after a date, or even a few dates, and says "let's just be friends" it is her letting him down gently. In general, there is no real intent on a friendship being developed. Most guys will agree to the new direction to the relationship because they believe that he will eventually change her mind. If a guy goes to a girl and says "let's just be friends", we tend to really mean it. We generally have a motivation to remain friends outside of letting someone down gently. If a woman agrees to the new direction of the relationship, most of the time she will do so thinking that she will eventually change his mind about her. The difference between the two scenarios are intention. The thing that's in common is that the person being put into the friendzone tends to have hope that things will turn around. Here's what I'm getting at and I'll use Pilgrim's words This is the best way to go because there is no real trick to it. However, if your foundation of your interactions was based on attraction then a girl that men generally find attractive will probably either not agree to it or not take it seriously. A girl with a scarcity mindset will likely go along with it. This is where you may really want to think about what you are doing when you make that friendship offer because if she agrees to it then you are giving her false hope even if that's not your intention. Thanks for write up It was a meeting from Tinder, so some selectiveness based on attractiveness has gone into it, but she was American and we just mainly talked about basketball prior to meeting. So it wasn't like sex was expected/implied So from what you've written, you don't really think she'd sincerely to agree to being pals If she were to agree with it and was sincere then she'd be an outlier. I'm not saying that it's impossible...just improbable. |
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Post by flyingbanana on Jan 28, 2021 19:39:34 GMT
Thanks for write up It was a meeting from Tinder, so some selectiveness based on attractiveness has gone into it, but she was American and we just mainly talked about basketball prior to meeting. So it wasn't like sex was expected/implied So from what you've written, you don't really think she'd sincerely to agree to being pals If she were to agree with it and was sincere then she'd be an outlier. I'm not saying that it's impossible...just improbable. Another idea, if you are 100 percent sure you don't want things to go sexual/romantic with her, just straight up ask her if she has any interesting friends she would be willing to introduce you and that you just want to be friends with her. Have you thought why you even want to be friends with her? If she isn't down, just treat it like any prospect, move on to the next one. If it is easy to use that mindset with potential sexual partners it should be even easier to use it on a girl that you are not even trying to hook up with. Who cares what she says, you know you can find another one and it's her loss.... 8.5.7 |
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Post by N2thevoid on Jan 29, 2021 19:17:49 GMT
As the others have said, always be clear on your intentions. Tell her that you really like her energy, and have fun being around her and you'd really like to explore a friendship with her.
You can't be afraid of hurting other people's feelings. In fact it's not possible to, nor can you make anyone FEEL a particular way. Unfortunately we're taught the opposite, but it's not true. If you constantly go around feeling like you are responsible, you'll watch every little step you take as though you were walking on an ant farm.
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Post by curtis72 on Feb 4, 2021 21:38:04 GMT
Hello, messaged a while back saying we should be friends. She said she wasn’t feeling a romantic vibe either and contact since has been scarce.
Thanks for advice everyone
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