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Post by drenglish on Aug 26, 2021 17:57:12 GMT
Today I was approached by a girl at a women's clothing shop. I was shopping for a present for my boss trying to figure out what kind of a gift you can buy for a sixty-year-old woman who is in power. I was checking some perfumes. Then I noticed a latino girl swarming around the perfume shelf. She swarmed around my left for a while then she placed herself in my right side. I gave her some space thinking she was looking at perfumes. Then she got a pink perfume bottle and placed her body toward me and
said "this one is very good"
Me: "I am shopping for a present for my boss who is a 60 year old Golda Meir look alike woman, may be it is nice for a young lady like you....."
She told me her name without waiting for me to finish my sentence and she was nervous as shit. I didn't even get around to telling my name to her. She said bye and gone it was really bizarre.
Have any of you guys ever been approached by a girl like that?
What could I do to appease her nervousness?
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Post by JackZero on Aug 26, 2021 21:22:16 GMT
Answer this question for yourself. What was she nervous about?
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Post by drenglish on Aug 27, 2021 11:46:05 GMT
Answer this question for yourself. What was she nervous about? What was she nervous about? I have been cudgelling my brains since yesterday bro. She was super hot, almost taller than me, looked like a professional athlete in her early twenties yet she was nervous because she was afraid of getting a rejection from a guy who was checking women's perfume. Isn't that weird? All I know is that kind of shit happens very rarely and I think I blew my chance. |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 27, 2021 15:02:03 GMT
I asked you the question on why she was nervous because I wanted to see what your answer was. Then I would have followed up with, "what did you do to make her feel more comfortable?" Let's just get down to it without trying to make you think to much about it. Yes, it is rare that a super hot girl approaches a guy, but as the guy it is your job to take control of the situation. Talk to her as if you were the one doing the approaching. The problem is that you allowed for her to keep control of the interaction when she obviously wasn't comfortable with it.
No matter what happens in an interaction, you should be taking the masculine role and let her take the feminine. If you approach a woman, you have to lead. If an attractive woman approaches you, you have to lead. Your masculinity, to put it simply, is what is going to alleviate her from being nervous.
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Aug 27, 2021 15:41:17 GMT
I agree with JackZero. Whether you are the one who approaches the girl, or she is the one who approaches you..you have to be the one who takes the lead in the interaction. Period. Your masculine role is to lead her. And by doing so, you will allow her to be in her feminine role (which is..her following your lead).
There's another very important lesson in your field report, for guys to learn from..that i want to highlight. And that lesson is..the fact that she was a super hot girl, and she was very nervous when she opened you..goes to show you that, these hot girls, are just mere mortals too. Hot girls aren't anything special. Sure they are very beautiful on the outside..but they get approach anxiety just like we do..when it comes to approaching someone random that they are attracted to, of the opposite sex. Again..Hot girls are just mere mortals, just like we are. So don't pedistalize them. So next time..talk to that 9, the same way that you would talk to a girl that's a 5. And ironically, with this mindset..you will naturally assume the lead over her. And also by you talking to her, as if she's a girl that's a 5 out of 10..she will feel that you are not intimidated by her beauty. So you will stand out from all of the other guys that she meets..who worship the ground that she walks on. And she will not be able to help, but to become very attracted to you. Because to meet a guy like you, is very rare for her.
Great field report btw OP!
-G
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G-host
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Post by G-host on Oct 21, 2021 16:54:09 GMT
Is it so bad to put her on a pedestal thou if she is worthy of it, and you can still manage to handle yourself confidently? And you guys are talking about being in the male role and take the lead of the situation.. yes, i agree. in this situation especially but ive learned that some women like to seduce a man and that can taste soo sweet also! and im not saying that its not seductive when the woman has her role as the follower, im just saying, some approach differently and its still pretty good  |
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Post by JackZero on Oct 21, 2021 17:18:43 GMT
Is it so bad to put her on a pedestal thou if she is worthy of it, and you can still manage to handle yourself confidently? And you guys are talking about being in the male role and take the lead of the situation.. yes, i agree. in this situation especially but ive learned that some women like to seduce a man and that can taste soo sweet also! and im not saying that its not seductive when the woman has her role as the follower, im just saying, some approach differently and its still pretty good I think you misunderstand what is being said here. There is a male's role in seduction and there is a female's role in it. If the woman is seducing a man, she's not going to do it in a masculine way. She is going to do it with the feminine qualities that she has. She's generally not going to seduce you by taking the lead. She's usually going to seduce you more in the form of submission tactics. Yes, there are women that will overtly let a man know that she wants him but that's not the norm in the process. IMO, we have to talk in generalities. If the situation proves itself unique, then we can give advice based on that. Now to answer the question if it's so bad to put her on a pedestal if she's worthy of it. It's terrible. You never put a woman on a pedestal. NEVER!! Not if you want to keep her around. Short term, maybe if that is your tactic. Long term, she's going to get used to being put on pedestal until it feels normal to her. If that's what you have to offer her to keep her around then what's going to happen when she becomes accustomed to it? You'll have to have something else to fall back on to keep her around. |
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G-host
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Post by G-host on Oct 21, 2021 17:30:42 GMT
no, i didnt missunderstand it. i just didnt come across clearly. hm how should i put this more correctly.. i think, sometimes a woman likes to be in control. But again, in THIS situation, the proper behavior would be to "help" her out by taking the matter in your hands so to speak. you are right about that.
but should we normalise behaving like she isnt the prettiest thing out there, if she is? should we put her down by a "neg" for example? i think its a compliment to let her know she is lovely. and in the long term, expesially if you want to keep her, i think she should know that shes one of the best things in your life and that why you want her. and then you offer her someone who deserves all of her, the best you you can be.
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Post by JackZero on Oct 21, 2021 18:40:07 GMT
no, i didnt missunderstand it. i just didnt come across clearly. hm how should i put this more correctly.. i think, sometimes a woman likes to be in control. But again, in THIS situation, the proper behavior would be to "help" her out by taking the matter in your hands so to speak. you are right about that. but should we normalise behaving like she isnt the prettiest thing out there, if she is? should we put her down by a "neg" for example? i think its a compliment to let her know she is lovely. and in the long term, expesially if you want to keep her, i think she should know that shes one of the best things in your life and that why you want her. and then you offer her someone who deserves all of her, the best you you can be. "Behaving" like she isn't the prettiest thing out there, if she is? No, you don't behave that way. Pretty is an attribute and nothing more. You can recognize her beauty and compliment her on it, but put her on a pedestal because of it is silly and overinvestment. No woman is better than you and putting her on a pedestal is putting her above you. There's hardly a woman in the world that will respect you if you treat her as if she's above you. Most women want a man that she can look up to. That is a big part of the general relationship of masculinity and femininity. Here's a question for you. Let's say she isn't the prettiest thing out there but you like her. Doesn't she deserve the same treatment as the prettiest girl out there because she gives you the same feelings? Doesn't she deserve the best you that you can be? Or are you saying that beauty demands that she gets special treatment? |
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G-host
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Post by G-host on Oct 21, 2021 22:56:54 GMT
well, the meaning of a pedestal i used in reference to a situation in which someone is greatly or uncritically admired. you have to love yourself too i suppose.
to answer your question, why would you then go after her? wheter its becuse she is pretty in heart, mind, body, what ever. let someone who thinks better of her, have her. its not like we all like the same woman and you dont go after everyone now, or do you? also, i try to treat everyone good.
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Post by JackZero on Oct 22, 2021 1:59:52 GMT
well, the meaning of a pedestal i used in reference to a situation in which someone is greatly or uncritically admired. you have to love yourself too i suppose. to answer your question, why would you then go after her? wheter its becuse she is pretty in heart, mind, body, what ever. let someone who thinks better of her, have her. its not like we all like the same woman and you dont go after everyone now, or do you? also, i try to treat everyone good. I guess that my point that I was making focused around the framing it as putting a woman on a pedestal and the old school terminology of it. That mixed with you stating that it wouldn't be too bad of behaving a certain way because she's the prettiest thing out there made me make the "wut?" face. I've been around enough pretty women to know they've heard from all the guys that they are pretty and it doesn't mean anything to her until you mean something to her. I acknowledge beauty all the time but I won't treat women like they are beauties. I would not even let a woman know that the reason I want to be around her because of her beauty. I wouldn't advise a guy to behave a specific way because of beauty. I do get your point and I do agree with you to a certain degree. |
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G-host
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Post by G-host on Oct 22, 2021 7:10:36 GMT
Thats a good point when you put it like that
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Post by drenglish on Nov 10, 2021 10:44:42 GMT
This time I was approached by a two-set in the street. That was a week ago it was raining. My shift ends at about 7 in the evening and I usually go out after. That day it was rainy and I had reservations about going out so I thought of going home directly. But I said wtf there is no time like the present so what if it was raining. Anyway I thought I could get a cup of coffee then I could shop around. I'm a cautious person so I take to keeping an umbrella at my work place in case it rains while I am there. Anyway I grabbed my umbrella and go out headed for the coffee shop. The rain was pelting down, at that moment only thing in my mind was to get myself in the coffee shop. I was walking in the street that is a very busy pedestrian street. I didn't even notice them whether while I was walking they were walking towards me or waiting there I have no idea two women stopped me. They were about their mid 20's. They were both very tall and they looked Columbian or Mexican to me.
They stopped me with that line "excuse me do you speak English?"
I said of course I could yeah what do you want. They told me they were going to take some pictures under the rain but they have only one umbrella asked me if I could hold my umbrella for the girl who was taking the pictures while the other girl got her pictures taken and I said fine go ahead. I am a very friendly person. First one of the girls stood under my umbrella right next to me to take her friend's pictures. I started asking her questions, telling her some DHV stories. Gaming her she told me that I had a great voice and I am very articulate. "I thought you lucky bastard" Then the girls swapped places the other girl came. This time I was talking to the other girl. They told me they were from morocco, I started talking about the movie Casablanca, thus demonstarated my value to her as a classical movie buff and a sophisticated, well-educated person. Anyway guys the conversation went on it was great she asked me for my number, she said give me your number at the end. I didn't give my digits. "it is my job to text you give me your number" I said she gave me her number I texted her after 3-4 hrs didn't respond sent another text after 4-5 days again she didn't text me back. I have to say guys this time I was able to handle it better but it wasn't enough. I got some numbers last week, including the girls who approached me nevertheless those numbers didn't do me any good. I'd love to talk about all those numbers and texting but the issue here is being approached by girls. Anyway the girl who approached me, who told me that I had a very charismatic voice didn't text me back.
Anyway guys what do you think?
How could I handle it more smoothly?
Ps: guys if you post your field reports of being approached by girls under this title I thought we could have a vast literature that we all could benefit.
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Post by Alex Penn on Dec 7, 2023 13:49:30 GMT
Sounds like a unique encounter. When someone's nervous, keep it light. Smile, nod, maybe crack a joke. Ease the tension by being easygoing. You could've said something like, "No worries, it happens to the best of us." Share a quick laugh, make it comfortable.
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