Online field report - Girl reached out to ME on OkCupid

[TheWhiteTiger]

I have an okcupid profile, and despite their many interface changes I am still on that app. 

I'll point out I found it since it gives you the option to send an intro along with your like (as opposed to Tinder or Bumble where you just swipe), it does allow me to use more than my looks when reaching out to women. 
However, in this case the girl reached out to me. Looking at her profile she is Indian and I'd say maybe a 4-5. So I'll stroke my own ego and call her HB5. She is new to my city. Here is how the interaction went

HB5: Hi TheWhiteTiger, hope you are doing well. It was interesting reading T.S. Eliot in Morgan Freeman’s voice. 😁 **Reference to a quote on my profile**
I don’t know if I fit into the three categories you have specified or if this message is interesting enough. I guess I’ll find out if I get a Hi back from you! 🙃 **Major IOI, all I have to do is not fuck up**

Me: Hi HB5!

How are you enjoying XXXX? is it all the movies mae it out to be?

HB5: Hey!! Thanks for replying… So far I like the city…. It’s beautiful!

I do wish I had my friends (from back home) here to actually enjoy the city more… I feel bad for XXXX when it comes to the movie but because they always make it seem like some town from the US and the city doesn’t get enough mention.
What do you like about the city?? And are you from XXXX or did you move here?? **another long message, great IOI**



Me: I moved to XXXX from YYYY, the province next door

couldn't take the snow anymore

are you good with snow or do you turn into a marshmallow

?

Well what do you like to do with your friends? you can do that with me **Trying to seed a date**

HB5: Cool... I know someone who wants to move to YYYY because they can't deal with the rainfall anymore!! 😅😅

I m not a winter person at all. Honestly, my parents were shocked when I told them I want to move to Canada considering I hate winter and being cold. So XXXX is the only place I can survive in Canada, at least that's what everyone has told me. 😅😅😅

With my friends, I like to go for walks, go to random book stores, library, or check out different types of markets and coffee places. Or just go to a park and chit chat!!



What about you!? What do you like to do with your friends?? 

Me: I like going on walks, hikes, movies, coffee and drinks **I need a better answer here, this question comes up a lot and I'm sounding like a grandpa**
Let's go for a coffee!

HB5: Sure! Let’s plan something soon
Any particular coffee place you would like to meet??


Me: There's a few nice ones in downtown, are you near downtown often?

HB5: Yeah… or I can come to meet you… it’s not a problem
**okay, I'll be honest, this is almost a red flag for me, why is this so easy? Even though she's a 5 she's not a goblin**


Me: haha, I live in downtown

what is your number? let's chat on whatsapp **extracting to a more personal space ASAP**

HB5: My office is in DT but I only come a few days in a week and in the evenings mostly

My number is zzz-zzz-zzzz.

Ping me


So we are currently chatting away on whatsapp. I want to meet her ASAP, but her extreme IOI is a bit alarming so I'm going to tone down my expectations in case she is, in fact, much less attractive than her photos made her look (which of course happens).

That said, any feedback would be appreciated, if you have learned from this, that is also appreciated. 

[TheWhiteTiger]

So we've been chatting on whatsapp for 4 days now, a bit of fluff, a bit of flirting. At some point when I got some comfort, I stated painting a mental image of us on vacation or doing activities together. A tiny bit of sensual talk, but not about sex, more so about touching her and biting her ears for example.

Anyways, we set up a date for today, to go for coffee. She has to take care of something in downtown so she ends up coming over here a few hours early to hang out with me. Our plan is a simple coffee, but I noticed she is VERY into me. SO, I know I can experiment and push more.

She came to downtown by public transit, so as soon as we meet I hug her, and then as we start going I take her hand. She isn't letting go or showing any signs of discomfort so we go over to the coffee shop holding hands and talking.

We go for a popular coffee spot here that is so popular there is NEVER a spot to sit down there. I think this can work to my advantage since it's easier for me to pull to my place due to there being no seats. UNFORTUNATLY, this place is also so popular that getting a simple order of coffee takes 15 minutes of waiting. As you imagine it's hard to keep a conversation going during that time standing by the little sugar and plastic spoon table. At some point I realize this slow wait is killing any sort of attraction so I take her hand again and say we should thumb wrestle to pass time in an attempt to liven things up a bit... she says it's ok, but still holds on to my hand, so that is a good sign.

FINALLY, after millennia, the legendary coffee arrives, and these guys manage to get her order wrong. I want to show dominance by complaining to them, but she makes the case she doesn't want to wait again, so we head out **anything I could have done differently here?**

We head out to take a walk, and I say I'll show her a tour of my neighborhood. I take her in the direction of my place, aaaaaaaaand it's raining, just lovely spring weather. AGAIN, this is good for me, since I know she is into me, and I know like most people who aren't amphibians, she doesn't find this rain perfectly romantic. So I say "oh looks like the rain is picking up, just so we don't get soaked, how about we have our coffee at my place?" **Again, maybe I could have been a bit more dominant here with "let's go have our coffee at my place" instead of asking**

As I suspected before this might be a pull to my place, I left my place "strategically messy". i.e. it looks like I didn't prepare for company, but doesn't look like a hurricane went through it. I of course say "the place is messy, but you're not allowed to judge me" to establish this isn't something I planned on.
We spent the few hours we have first having our coffee and talking, a bit about her home country and mine. Then I show her one of my favourite comedians (Danny Bhoy) since we talked about comedy on whatsapp, and I pull her closer to cuddle as we watch the skits. She responds favorably so I figure I can slowly escalate. I start blowing in her ear, and then slowly biting on it, and it very clearly turns her on. Very quickly we are making out.

It's rather clear sex won't be happening (and even if it will, the buyer's remorse it will produce isn't worth it for it to be a one time deal), but we are making out hardcore, lip biting and the whole shebang. 
After some time of intense kissing on her lips and neck, I whisper to her "Do you like being spanked?" and she responds with "Oh, I don't know" in an almost embarrassed but curious way. I say "well let's find out". I bend her over my leg and turns out she really enjoys spanking (her pants are still on though), so we will have something fun to explore later.

The goal of this isn't to brag, I already mentioned she is an HB5, though she looks exactly like her photos, which is always a pleasant surprise. 
The goal is to distill a few lessons I learned:

• I feel I kind of understand what attractive women experience from her previous interaction. I'm a guy with literally nothing to lose and her eagerness earlier on was setting off some warning bells in my head
  
• When you have someone where the stakes are low, that is a GREAT time to experiment and push and see what works. No guarantee the same mechanism works on an HB6+, but the confidence of "oh I've done this before" might help
  
• Leaving your place "strategically messy" is KEY. After we made out and she had to go, I walked her to her dt destination, and she asked on the way "oh were you planning this?" and I replied with "If I were planning this I'd clean up my place." Looks like she bought it. At the end of the day she doesn't want to feel like she was too easy and I knew all along I can take her to my place, she wants to feel as a part of a romantic comedy
  

Also, any feedback about anything here that can be generalized would be great. If this helped you, that is great too.