|
|
Post by TheWhiteTiger on Mar 30, 2022 3:26:05 GMT
Style had a very interesting routine inspired by, what he said was, value elicitation.
I've attached a video below but I also put out a transcript here. I think it's worth trying to memorize (somewhat) the delivery. I tried delivering it on a date over this weekend and there were a lot of brain farts there ("um"s and "uh"s). The video is to see his delivery, which is quite nice.
Two sides notes here; One, this is a very fun routine to do ON YOURSELF because finding out your own values is quite interesting. Two, it's worth doing it ON YOURSELF because whenever I delivered this to a woman (all two times I've done this), the response was "oh and what were your answers to these questions?"
Anyway, here goes:
---------------------------------------
You: **Root routine, i.e. why are you doing this?**
You: It's three questions that will allow me to get to know you better than asking you what you do or where you're from.
Really simple; If you had to pick one quality that you need to have in your life in order to feel like life is worthwhile, what would that quality be? Just something you need to have, can be tangible can be intangible
**Sometimes you are at a situation where that is too deep of a question, so the backup question is:**
What do you like doing?
Her: quality X
You: So, if you have quality X in life, what kinds of things does that allow you to do in life?
**Again, sometimes you are at a situation where that is too deep of a question, so the backup question is:**
Describe your perfect scenario of X, the best time you had X
Her: It allows me allowance 1, allowance 2, allowance 3, ...
You: Cool awesome, so let's just paint a perfect case scenario, let's just say that you might have this in your life now or maybe later. That not only do you have quality X, but your known as a person of X, if someone mentions your name they say "that's a person of X," and it's allowed you to do allowance 1, 2, and 3, how would that make you feel inside? How does that make you feel inside?
Her: **Potential resistance or lack of introspection** it feels good?
You: Right, but describe what you see when you look in yourself in the mirror and you see a person of X, what's the actual emotion you feel inside?
Her: I feel emotion/feeling Y
You: THAT'S what you're about! That's who you are! You might not be so much about quality X, what you're about is getting that emotion Y, that's what you're looking for in life. You just smiled a bit when you said that **hopefully she does**
That's it, we just fulfilled your life goal in like three minutes, you can die now, it's done, it doesn't get better than this
---------------------------------------
|
|
|
|
Post by pilgrimmeister on Mar 30, 2022 11:49:38 GMT
That sounds boring, not fun and exciting. Unless you are doing quick fire night game, then avoid canned material, unless it is relevant to who you are. Some of those questions are ok first off on a dating site to check if they are compatiable, but intead of using fancy words to get the asnwer, I just ask them straight up. If I don't like the answers, I next them. If they don't like the question, they next me (and therefore, I would have nexted them anyway). You need to ask yourself what you want from a girl. What is important to you. What are your deal breakers. Don't be afraid to ask the difficult questions and filter them out. You can still be light and fun about some stuff you do without using canned material, but of course, if you are not intersting, it will take time to make those adjustments.
Why do you think you need to rely on routines?
|
|
|
|
Post by curtis72 on Mar 30, 2022 13:44:37 GMT
You made a field report saying that last time you tried this, you were sent on your way. Why do you think this is effective? I can’t lie, I really distrust Style. I read his book and most of the stuff seems fictional stuff aimed at guys who’ve never approached.
|
|
|
|
Post by TheWhiteTiger on Mar 30, 2022 21:22:21 GMT
Why do you think you need to rely on routines? I'll just address the question overall, having routines and some way to distinguish myself from the crowd is something I think is valuable. You can still be light and fun about some stuff you do without using canned material, but of course, if you are not intersting, it will take time to make those adjustments. Yes, which is what I'm working on. My main sticking point is having something fun and/or interesting to do on dates, so having potentially interesting stuff someone else came up with that works (presumably), is the crutch while I develop my own groove. To be honest, I understand where you're coming from, but "get more interesting" is about as useful an advice as "just be yourself" You made a field report saying that last time you tried this, you were sent on your way. Why do you think this is effective? I can’t lie, I really distrust Style. I read his book and most of the stuff seems fictional stuff aimed at guys who’ve never approached. Yes, and a few weeks before I had a date where this landed and got the girl more interested. My delivery was shit, so I'm not surprised the results were shit, and there were a few other mistakes I made there. On the whole I consider routines to be amplifiers; if the girl likes you a little, and you do something like this, she likes you more. If she dislikes you, then she will like you even less. I've done some other Style routines that have worked several years ago (Cube, three mice game), so I don't see where the distrust is coming from. Is it all true? eh, hard to tell, he is a writer and he did write for money. Does it mean it doesn't work just because I can't imagine it working? that might be an exaggeration as well. |
|
|
|
Post by pilgrimmeister on Mar 30, 2022 22:54:59 GMT
Why do you think you need to rely on routines? I'll just address the question overall, having routines and some way to distinguish myself from the crowd is something I think is valuable. You can still be light and fun about some stuff you do without using canned material, but of course, if you are not intersting, it will take time to make those adjustments. Yes, which is what I'm working on. My main sticking point is having something fun and/or interesting to do on dates, so having potentially interesting stuff someone else came up with that works (presumably), is the crutch while I develop my own groove. To be honest, I understand where you're coming from, but "get more interesting" is about as useful an advice as "just be yourself" You made a field report saying that last time you tried this, you were sent on your way. Why do you think this is effective? I can’t lie, I really distrust Style. I read his book and most of the stuff seems fictional stuff aimed at guys who’ve never approached. Yes, and a few weeks before I had a date where this landed and got the girl more interested. My delivery was shit, so I'm not surprised the results were shit, and there were a few other mistakes I made there. On the whole I consider routines to be amplifiers; if the girl likes you a little, and you do something like this, she likes you more. If she dislikes you, then she will like you even less. I've done some other Style routines that have worked several years ago (Cube, three mice game), so I don't see where the distrust is coming from. Is it all true? eh, hard to tell, he is a writer and he did write for money. Does it mean it doesn't work just because I can't imagine it working? that might be an exaggeration as well. I remember when I first started in my 20s. I was in the same boat. What I did was take up hobbies that I enjoyed. I learnt to DJ, then run and sing on karaoke. With that came confidence as I enjoyed what I was doing. I also played cricket on a Sunday afternoon, which is another hobby, something else I can talk about. But its not the sports or actual DJing per say to talk about, its the experiences from those, the encounters that I have, things that have happened either to me which may make her laugh and allows me to use examples of myself or things I have witnessed such as talking about some funny interactions I have had that my date may relate to. I turn those experiences into stories, but becuase I had those experiences, those stories are origignal to me. Also having interests in certain TV series or films are a talking point as well. Get away on days out, such as a visit to a musem, a theme park visit, go to a concert etc, and then share those experiences with your date. By doing that you are showing her you are social, have interests which give you unique value, have your own opinons (from the stories) and if they are funny stories from those experiences, and yes includes laughing at yourself, make her laugh. Another thing it demostrates, that you have your own interests, living life to the full, you don't need a woman in your lie to fix it, but she wants to be part of it. If you just sit at home, go to college/work, eat, play the xbox, sleep then repeat and your only other thing you do is game women, then you are going to struggle to sell yourself to them. It's obvious when someone is Bull Shitting (a UK phrase for stretching the truth/talking rubbish). What I am trying to get at is, the more you do in life to make it better, the more life experiences you will have and therefore you will have orignal stuff to tell her about you, that is believable. There is no quick fix using material some of them have seen on YT videos or written on the net, and yes, some of them read this stuff and can spot it a mile off. |
|
|
|
Post by TheWhiteTiger on Mar 31, 2022 4:10:30 GMT
I remember when I first started in my 20s. I was in the same boat. What I did was take up hobbies that I enjoyed. I learnt to DJ, then run and sing on karaoke. With that came confidence as I enjoyed what I was doing. I also played cricket on a Sunday afternoon, which is another hobby, something else I can talk about. But its not the sports or actual DJing per say to talk about, its the experiences from those, the encounters that I have, things that have happened either to me which may make her laugh and allows me to use examples of myself or things I have witnessed such as talking about some funny interactions I have had that my date may relate to. I turn those experiences into stories, but becuase I had those experiences, those stories are origignal to me. Also having interests in certain TV series or films are a talking point as well. Get away on days out, such as a visit to a musem, a theme park visit, go to a concert etc, and then share those experiences with your date. By doing that you are showing her you are social, have interests which give you unique value, have your own opinons (from the stories) and if they are funny stories from those experiences, and yes includes laughing at yourself, make her laugh. Another thing it demostrates, that you have your own interests, living life to the full, you don't need a woman in your lie to fix it, but she wants to be part of it. If you just sit at home, go to college/work, eat, play the xbox, sleep then repeat and your only other thing you do is game women, then you are going to struggle to sell yourself to them. It's obvious when someone is Bull Shitting (a UK phrase for stretching the truth/talking rubbish). What I am trying to get at is, the more you do in life to make it better, the more life experiences you will have and therefore you will have orignal stuff to tell her about you, that is believable. There is no quick fix using material some of them have seen on YT videos or written on the net, and yes, some of them read this stuff and can spot it a mile off. I don't want to use that as an excuse, but it's a bit easier in your 20s. I'm currently in my early 30s, during what is still the remnants of a pandemic, with a mildly broken social circle due to reasons To your point, all these things take time, I feel it's nice to have something to lean on WHILE building those. Tell me if I'm missing the point entirely |
|
|
|
Post by pilgrimmeister on Mar 31, 2022 10:55:54 GMT
I remember when I first started in my 20s. I was in the same boat. What I did was take up hobbies that I enjoyed. I learnt to DJ, then run and sing on karaoke. With that came confidence as I enjoyed what I was doing. I also played cricket on a Sunday afternoon, which is another hobby, something else I can talk about. But its not the sports or actual DJing per say to talk about, its the experiences from those, the encounters that I have, things that have happened either to me which may make her laugh and allows me to use examples of myself or things I have witnessed such as talking about some funny interactions I have had that my date may relate to. I turn those experiences into stories, but becuase I had those experiences, those stories are origignal to me. Also having interests in certain TV series or films are a talking point as well. Get away on days out, such as a visit to a musem, a theme park visit, go to a concert etc, and then share those experiences with your date. By doing that you are showing her you are social, have interests which give you unique value, have your own opinons (from the stories) and if they are funny stories from those experiences, and yes includes laughing at yourself, make her laugh. Another thing it demostrates, that you have your own interests, living life to the full, you don't need a woman in your lie to fix it, but she wants to be part of it. If you just sit at home, go to college/work, eat, play the xbox, sleep then repeat and your only other thing you do is game women, then you are going to struggle to sell yourself to them. It's obvious when someone is Bull Shitting (a UK phrase for stretching the truth/talking rubbish). What I am trying to get at is, the more you do in life to make it better, the more life experiences you will have and therefore you will have orignal stuff to tell her about you, that is believable. There is no quick fix using material some of them have seen on YT videos or written on the net, and yes, some of them read this stuff and can spot it a mile off. I don't want to use that as an excuse, but it's a bit easier in your 20s. I'm currently in my early 30s, during what is still the remnants of a pandemic, with a mildly broken social circle due to reasons To your point, all these things take time, I feel it's nice to have something to lean on WHILE building those. Tell me if I'm missing the point entirely I am also in my 30s, so you should have plenty of stories to tell based on experiences in the last 10 years or so. You have got the point, and yes, all those things do take time, but you have to realise that it is going to be an uphill battle. If you want to lean on a girl and are desperate, then go for girls who are 4's and 5s, who are equal or slightly better to your true value. Keep it casual, while you rebuild a new social circle. But the point you made about you needing someone to lean on sounds like you are desperate, and girls can spot this through your body language an actions. When I hit rock bottom after a bad breakup, I had to go for 4's and 5's to begin with until I built my value up enough to be dating 7s and 8s and it took many year to get to the point I am at now. I am happy with the current standard of women I am attracting and have no desire to compete for 9s and 10s unless I am in the right place and the right time. In fact, I don't even place lables in practicce anymore, but we all know they exists. All women are the same, I either like them or I don't. |
|
|
|
Post by TheWhiteTiger on Apr 2, 2022 17:14:27 GMT
I don't want to use that as an excuse, but it's a bit easier in your 20s. I'm currently in my early 30s, during what is still the remnants of a pandemic, with a mildly broken social circle due to reasons To your point, all these things take time, I feel it's nice to have something to lean on WHILE building those. Tell me if I'm missing the point entirely I am also in my 30s, so you should have plenty of stories to tell based on experiences in the last 10 years or so. Well funny story, I don't. I spent the last 10 years on a fun cocktail of my PhD, family drama, and the cherry on top was the last two years of COVID |
|
|
|
Post by pilgrimmeister on Apr 2, 2022 17:39:05 GMT
I am also in my 30s, so you should have plenty of stories to tell based on experiences in the last 10 years or so. Well funny story, I don't. I spent the last 10 years on a fun cocktail of my PhD, family drama, and the cherry on top was the last two years of COVID Will give you an example of the date from today. We talked about our families, things that have happened, and try and see the funny side of it. You can do the same, it doesn't always have to be the good stuff, a mixture of good and bad shows you are human, and your family is ddysfunctional like many, but you can come out of it in a good light if you present the story right. And despite her hearing some of the flaws, she wants to see me again and we got intimate before we had to part ways. I also got her flaws as well (good way to check for red flags). The difference is, I coulnd't give a monkeys what she thinks about me, but if she likes me for me, then that is a real bonus. |
|
|
|
Post by JackZero on Apr 2, 2022 18:02:27 GMT
I am also in my 30s, so you should have plenty of stories to tell based on experiences in the last 10 years or so. Well funny story, I don't. I spent the last 10 years on a fun cocktail of my PhD, family drama, and the cherry on top was the last two years of COVID PhD - Man of value Family drama - Life experiences Last 2 years of COVID - Common experiences |
|
