Gf issues

[rocky]

Hey, how's everyone doing?

So, ive had this reoccurring issue with my girlfriend.

We started off having sex like crazy and now it's like I have to beg for sex. We literally went from having it like every day to once every week and if that. Idk if anyone else has encountered that?

Her logic was that she we would argue and fight too much that she wouldn't be in the mood but even when we're good and not arguing or mad she still isn't down.

It really feels like shit when I'm tryin to fuck and she's just isn't down. She'll reject me and say no stop or just try to cuddle instead. And I think that's hella lame and she's getting off by just cuddling and im satisfying her needs and I'm there with blue balls. I've also noticed that there's always an excuse. She's too tired, she has to go already for work in the morning, something!

It makes me feel insecure because she's hot and she post hot ass pics of herself on Instagram yet I rarely fuck her how I used to. tbh there is times that I last longer than otherdls but I'm not in my prime anymore. I just can't last like how I used to when I was younger (I'm 29 she's 22) i of course make her cum through eating her out but idk I feel like she's bored? Like she sees sex as a chore with me or something.

I guess the reason why I'm typing this now is because she's yet again rejected me. We fucked yesterday morning but I wanted to fuck tonight again and I yet again got rejected. It sucks because even if I try to start some foreplay she'll just stop me half way through it and just say stop. Like dude, it makes me feel like shit.

Idk im going to the gym, I got some abs. I am getting stronger and still.

My thoughts are to either buy some supplements so that I can last longer or end up finding myself a side chick that can actually satisfy my needs. I don't really want to because I do love her but fuck it sucks when youre just constantly getting turned down.

Any advice please

[rocky]

Also, I'm finding myself comparing this relationship to my previous relationship. Idk if that's a bad thing or not?

[ninjabib]

How long have youy been together? I think the amount of times we have sex with our partners does slow down a little over time but if its drastic then that's nmot acceptable.

We can only guess at why she is rejecting you frequently. Only she knows the truth. At the end of the day, if your needs are not being met and she's making you feel like crap is this a relationship you want to be stuck in? For me it's a no.

[rocky]

We've been together for about 8 months, dated for 3

[ninjabib]

That's still quite fresh for me, i thougbht you were going to say 4/5 years +. If shes not willing to make an effort i'd be considering leaving. Have you actually approcahed her and asked her about it or explained how it makes you feel?

[JackZero]

I'm going to explain this again. In relationships, the first 2-3 months are the nonstop sex months. It's where it's mostly infatuation. After that, the two of you really know each other and for women, it's not as exciting as it was when the relationship was new. The sound of your voice doesn't instantly get her wet anymore. You are now a part of her everyday life and no longer her escape from everyday life. You even mention that you two argue a lot.

This has absolutely nothing to do with you being in your prime. It's that you don't excite her anymore. In fact, it sounds like you feel like since you two are in a relationship that you are entitled to sex as opposed to keeping her interested.

[rocky]

Well yeah I expect some sex after doing the things that I do for her. You know? Maybe it's wrong to expect something in return and i should do things out of the kindness of my heart ,but when you go out your way doing things that are sometimes extra and you don't get your needs met it's like a slap to the face, ego, pride and confidence. It just makes u feel like shit.

It's weird I guess because I keep finding my self comparing things to my ex. We were together longer and the sex was always fire. She wanted it as much as I did. Now with this new chick, she's hotter and all just not as down to fuck and not as freaky. I guess I just miss that.

[JackZero]

There are many men who come on forums like this that "DO" things for a woman and are upset that they aren't getting any type of feelings or sex in return for doing them. If you are being honest about how hot your girlfriend is, then you know that there are a bunch of guys willing to DO the same things for her in the hopes of having sex with her. The point is, she doesn't see a person going out of their way for her as a good trade off for sex. Unless you think other guys going out of their way for her should be entitled to have sex with her, then you should rethink your thoughts on that.

[rocky]

I didn't think about it that way. That puts things into perspective. Now I'm just thinking what I can to get the fire going more for her.

Im really am considering getting some supplements for stamina. Maybe if I last longer than usual that can spice things up in the bedroom for us

[Heywood Jablowme]

Mirror her actions. Deny HER sex.

[N2thevoid]

Jun 24, 2019 14:36:04 GMT JackZero said:

I'm going to explain this again. In relationships, the first 2-3 months are the nonstop sex months. It's where it's mostly infatuation. After that, the two of you really know each other and for women, it's not as exciting as it was when the relationship was new. The sound of your voice doesn't instantly get her wet anymore. You are now a part of her everyday life and no longer her escape from everyday life. You even mention that you two argue a lot.

This has absolutely nothing to do with you being in your prime. It's that you don't excite her anymore. In fact, it sounds like you feel like since you two are in a relationship that you are entitled to sex as opposed to keeping her interested.

In summation, what you're saying is the novelty has worn off (at least for her), and post 3 months once the smoke and mirrors fade away (aka lust) compatibility becomes more the criterion/standard that'll either make or break the relationship.

[N2thevoid]

Jun 25, 2019 20:22:30 GMT Heywood Jablowme said:

Mirror her actions. Deny HER sex.

Do not do this.

Heywood don't make me install a frowny face emoticon;)

[N2thevoid]

Jun 24, 2019 6:39:13 GMT rocky said:

Hey, how's everyone doing?

So, ive had this reoccurring issue with my girlfriend.

We started off having sex like crazy and now it's like I have to beg for sex. We literally went from having it like every day to once every week and if that. Idk if anyone else has encountered that?

Her logic was that she we would argue and fight too much that she wouldn't be in the mood but even when we're good and not arguing or mad she still isn't down.

Women will often default to becoming less sexual with their partners when they feel less secure with their partner. There are evolutionary and biological reasons for this mechanism. Stress for example leads to release of cortisol which is a detriment to libidinal drives, also her lack of feeling safe in the relationship (with respects to pursuing long term mating strategy) would make her less receptive to being sexual - in other words, her basic need for security overrides her higher need for sexual gratification. David Daida explains this in The Way to the Superior Man as a woman not feeling comfortable being in her feminine if the masculine can't afford her a safe environment/context to do so.

It really feels like shit when I'm tryin to fuck and she's just isn't down. She'll reject me and say no stop or just try to cuddle instead. And I think that's hella lame and she's getting off by just cuddling and im satisfying her needs and I'm there with blue balls. I've also noticed that there's always an excuse. She's too tired, she has to go already for work in the morning, something!

If anything a woman will have sex in these situations out of obligation to be the 'good wife', 'good girlfriend', to not feel like 'a bitch'. I wouldn't accept sex from a girl under any sense of duress or obligation to please me. You'll both pay a price for it at some point, and she's keeping a tally, 100%.

It makes me feel insecure because she's hot and she post hot ass pics of herself on Instagram yet I rarely fuck her how I used to. tbh there is times that I last longer than otherdls but I'm not in my prime anymore. I just can't last like how I used to when I was younger (I'm 29 she's 22) i of course make her cum through eating her out but idk I feel like she's bored? Like she sees sex as a chore with me or something.

Everything you're mentioning here is a symptom of the problem. I am more curious about what a typical fight looks like ('if I were a fly on the wall, what might I see'). Who leaves, who stays? How you guys re-engage? etc. All of this behavior are just tragic bids to have attachment needs met, which clearly has created a toxic cycle between the two of you.

I guess the reason why I'm typing this now is because she's yet again rejected me. We fucked yesterday morning but I wanted to fuck tonight again and I yet again got rejected. It sucks because even if I try to start some foreplay she'll just stop me half way through it and just say stop. Like dude, it makes me feel like shit.

Idk im going to the gym, I got some abs. I am getting stronger and still.
You're viewing sex (the symptom) as the solution, which it's not. The more you push on this front, the more things will dissolve between the two of you. You're sitting here focusing and describing a rough textured, calloused object, missing the fact that it's the leg of an elephant.

My thoughts are to either buy some supplements so that I can last longer or end up finding myself a side chick that can actually satisfy my needs. I don't really want to because I do love her but fuck it sucks when youre just constantly getting turned down.

Any advice please

[rocky]

Still having the same issues but it varies. It just sucks seeing things how they once were and now it's just a faint memory of what was. We recently went to Colorado and it was all about her. I'm starting to realize that I'm dating a narcissist and it's killing me. It's all about her and her needs and she's kinda controlling and I hate it.


If I go out with the boys she makes it a big deal and guilt trips me and bitches and complains if I'm out late or fail to wish her a goodnight but God forbid if I do the same. It's draining me and my life. We have our ups and downs but the downs sometimes are deep. We're close to being a year together and I have a son and she still hasn't met him. I guess I'm starting to see the writing on the wall. And I get what you're saying, she needs security in the relationship but damn dude it's just literally feels that it's all about her. I once had to start a fight because she wouldn't even ask about my day and just talk all about herself like ok? And this is from a person that claims that they love you. Sorry for the rant but this is some kind of therapy, no one really else listens and this just really helps. Thanks if you read this and reply.

[JackZero]

Aug 24, 2019 4:13:08 GMT rocky said:

It's draining me and my life. 

So what do you think is wrong with you, OP?  Scarcity mindset?  Hoping to make things like they used to be again?  You think you can fix her narcissism?