chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 7, 2020 22:10:34 GMT
Hi guys,
Just need your opinion on this. Its going quite well with this girl but I have been the one setting the last 2 dates and have just set the third one as well.
I could see on the date that she was quite attracted to me. However, I dont want to be doing too much, with her sitting back and taking me for granted. It is certainly not like this during the date but fact is all the initiative in setting dates was on my part (although she hinted with 'ill show this to you one time in person' when talking about something)
How do you guys handle this stuff? Is this initiave too much? Do you mostly come up with fun things to do or do you let girls wait a little or suggest things themselves?
As I said this is not really a problem right now as she agreed to meet this weekend but I still wondered what would be the smartest thing to do.
FYI: didn't have sex with her so far, tried to take her home but she wasn't ready yet. Have the feeling she imposed the three date rule for sex on me haha.
|
|
|
Post by JackZero on Jul 7, 2020 22:32:22 GMT
I enjoy being the man.
Have you tried having a date at your place?
|
|
chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 8, 2020 7:19:22 GMT
I enjoy being the man. Have you tried having a date at your place? I dont find it a problem to take the initiative, but it was a thought in my head that she could maybe predict that I would ask her out. Hence the question. Yeah I thought about having dinner at my place, but as Im a bad cook and I have a roommate I thought about going somewhere else..but I definitely will try to get her home after the date.
|
|
|
Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jul 8, 2020 11:52:53 GMT
Domino's delivers.
|
|
|
Post by JackZero on Jul 8, 2020 15:19:53 GMT
I enjoy being the man. Have you tried having a date at your place? I dont find it a problem to take the initiative, but it was a thought in my head that she could maybe predict that I would ask her out. Hence the question. Yeah I thought about having dinner at my place, but as Im a bad cook and I have a roommate I thought about going somewhere else..but I definitely will try to get her home after the date. You deciding what you are going to do on a date is you leading. When you lead, in general, women tend to have more respect for you. When women respect you their attraction for you will last. Somehow you're taking that as her taking you for granted. Don't worry. At some point she's going to want to take you out but she will not likely call it a date. She will probably say it's to do something special for you. Your real problem is that you are not giving her a reason to be at your place because you are giving her a full activity and then an option. Like Heywood said, domino's does deliver. Now here's the real question...How can you call yourself chef89 and are a bad cook?
|
|
|
Post by N2thevoid on Jul 8, 2020 16:27:33 GMT
"I dont want to be doing too much, with her sitting back and taking me for granted. "
"all the initiative in setting dates was on my part "
"Do you mostly come up with fun things to do or do you let girls wait a little or suggest things themselves?"
Stop being a little bitch and learn to be comfortable taking the lead.
|
|
chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 8, 2020 20:19:02 GMT
I dont find it a problem to take the initiative, but it was a thought in my head that she could maybe predict that I would ask her out. Hence the question. Yeah I thought about having dinner at my place, but as Im a bad cook and I have a roommate I thought about going somewhere else..but I definitely will try to get her home after the date. You deciding what you are going to do on a date is you leading. When you lead, in general, women tend to have more respect for you. When women respect you their attraction for you will last. Somehow you're taking that as her taking you for granted. Don't worry. At some point she's going to want to take you out but she will not likely call it a date. She will probably say it's to do something special for you. Your real problem is that you are not giving her a reason to be at your place because you are giving her a full activity and then an option. Like Heywood said, domino's does deliver. Now here's the real question...How can you call yourself chef89 and are a bad cook? Yeah, I guess I have to give her a reason to go back to my place after the activity. As I said I tried that before but she shot it down immediately as she knew what it meant of course. Next date will surely be at my place. Haha, chef is just a name when I couldnt come up with anything.
|
|
chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 8, 2020 20:41:17 GMT
"I dont want to be doing too much, with her sitting back and taking me for granted. " "all the initiative in setting dates was on my part " "Do you mostly come up with fun things to do or do you let girls wait a little or suggest things themselves?" Stop being a little bitch and learn to be comfortable taking the lead. Haha its not that I don't like to lead. But what I'm trying to ask is what the difference is between investing too much and leading. Like I said things are going pretty well with this girl but it was just a thing that popped into my head. For now I'm just doing what feels right to me, but still I would like to understand this difference. Guess Jack explained this already quite clearly.
|
|
|
Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jul 8, 2020 20:44:18 GMT
Of course she did.
I would even say: "Hey shave your legs, we'er doing chicken wings at my place Friday."
|
|
chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 11, 2020 16:21:44 GMT
Just to give you guys a follow up on what happened on the date yesterday:
We played some boardgame in a bar with drinks as my previous activity got cancelled. She hinted before the date that maybe afterwards we could watch a show at home. So I used that as a reason afterwards to get her to my place. However, when I suggested it she was really like 'I dont want to create expectations as I normally wait a bit longer'. When I said 'you can go home after' she finally agreed.
At my place, we started kissing after taking one sip of the drinks and it ended up in the bedroom where we did a lot of foreplay, she gave me a BJ after I went down on her. When I told her that I wanted to grab a condom she said 'she wanted to wait'. After taking a break I tried again but no succes. We slept together and in the morning we both got aroused again and I was literally on top of her, but again the same LMR..
It seems to me that she has either a very strict moral code or is fucking some other dude in the meantime. Anyway, I got a bit less interested in her because of this, but still I was wondering where the enormous LMR could come from. Any ideas?
|
|
|
Post by N2thevoid on Jul 11, 2020 16:23:49 GMT
Of course she did. I would even say: "Hey shave your legs, we'er doing chicken wings at my place Friday." That can be misconstrued as you saying she's got chicken legs LOL
|
|
|
Post by JackZero on Jul 11, 2020 16:43:18 GMT
Just to give you guys a follow up on what happened on the date yesterday: We played some boardgame in a bar with drinks as my previous activity got cancelled. She hinted before the date that maybe afterwards we could watch a show at home. So I used that as a reason afterwards to get her to my place. However, when I suggested it she was really like 'I dont want to create expectations as I normally wait a bit longer'. When I said 'you can go home after' she finally agreed. At my place, we started kissing after taking one sip of the drinks and it ended up in the bedroom where we did a lot of foreplay, she gave me a BJ after I went down on her. When I told her that I wanted to grab a condom she said 'she wanted to wait'. After taking a break I tried again but no succes. We slept together and in the morning we both got aroused again and I was literally on top of her, but again the same LMR.. It seems to me that she has either a very strict moral code or is fucking some other dude in the meantime. Anyway, I got a bit less interested in her because of this, but still I was wondering where the enormous LMR could come from. Any ideas? You started negotiating sex. You told her that you were going to go get a condom. That gave her an opportunity to keep you from going to get a condom. If you were in your own bedroom, then you should have had one available within arms reach. I'm sure when you went down on her you didn't tell her, "I'm going to go down on you." You should have grabbed the condom and put it on. If you were at her place, the trick is to put the condom into your shoe so you can just reach down and grab it. Here's the second problem when you are dealing with girls that you know are going to give you resistance. They give BJ's in order to keep from having sex in many occasions. If you went down on her and gave her an orgasm and skipped her giving you a bj and instead put your condom on and went to sex, you likely wouldn't have gotten any resistance from her.
|
|
chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 11, 2020 17:45:13 GMT
Just to give you guys a follow up on what happened on the date yesterday: We played some boardgame in a bar with drinks as my previous activity got cancelled. She hinted before the date that maybe afterwards we could watch a show at home. So I used that as a reason afterwards to get her to my place. However, when I suggested it she was really like 'I dont want to create expectations as I normally wait a bit longer'. When I said 'you can go home after' she finally agreed. At my place, we started kissing after taking one sip of the drinks and it ended up in the bedroom where we did a lot of foreplay, she gave me a BJ after I went down on her. When I told her that I wanted to grab a condom she said 'she wanted to wait'. After taking a break I tried again but no succes. We slept together and in the morning we both got aroused again and I was literally on top of her, but again the same LMR.. It seems to me that she has either a very strict moral code or is fucking some other dude in the meantime. Anyway, I got a bit less interested in her because of this, but still I was wondering where the enormous LMR could come from. Any ideas? You started negotiating sex. You told her that you were going to go get a condom. That gave her an opportunity to keep you from going to get a condom. If you were in your own bedroom, then you should have had one available within arms reach. I'm sure when you went down on her you didn't tell her, "I'm going to go down on you." You should have grabbed the condom and put it on. If you were at her place, the trick is to put the condom into your shoe so you can just reach down and grab it. Here's the second problem when you are dealing with girls that you know are going to give you resistance. They give BJ's in order to keep from having sex in many occasions. If you went down on her and gave her an orgasm and skipped her giving you a bj and instead put your condom on and went to sex, you likely wouldn't have gotten any resistance from her. You might be right. Thanks
|
|
|
Post by N2thevoid on Jul 11, 2020 17:58:51 GMT
Plausible deniability
This is why women rarely will ask you out - rather they will say "hey stranger wanna go listen to some music later?"
(Most) Women (in their feminine) speak in a much more subtle language, and if you aren't attuned to it you're likely missing out on a lot of potential opportunity.
This also applies to you saying you're going to go get a condom. It made things into a bigger deal AND gave her the opportunity to say no.
What do I mean by this? In those few moments of you fumbling the ball, things got a bit stodgy for her - you lost your edge Mr. Smooth (in the moment only).
Plausible deniability is a woman's way of being able to frame a situation (to herself, and her friends) that things 'just happened'.
Women LOVE that 'just happened'/happinstance/serendipitous experience. To achieve this it is your job to LEAD (this is a big part of leading the interaction/'setting the frame'). You are setting the stage/the experience for things to happen.
Lights, camera, action. If she's coming over for dinner, have a condom in your pocket, or in the sleeve of your couch wherever. Store it in your foreskin even, who cares. Don't make it a thing, the situation should just flow, this way it creates that energy that things just happened.
What's the difference between a creepy guy and a hot guy? Both are often decisive but she feels attraction towards the hot guy (I am oversimplifying). It is how they frame it to be. If you're stumbling around she may either find it cute (in the beginning), or say to herself 'Oh man this dude isn't very sure of himself/acting like its the first lay in a decade'.
|
|
chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
|
Post by chef89 on Jul 11, 2020 21:15:58 GMT
Plausible deniability This is why women rarely will ask you out - rather they will say "hey stranger wanna go listen to some music later?" (Most) Women (in their feminine) speak in a much more subtle language, and if you aren't attuned to it you're likely missing out on a lot of potential opportunity. This also applies to you saying you're going to go get a condom. It made things into a bigger deal AND gave her the opportunity to say no. What do I mean by this? In those few moments of you fumbling the ball, things got a bit stodgy for her - you lost your edge Mr. Smooth (in the moment only). Plausible deniability is a woman's way of being able to frame a situation (to herself, and her friends) that things 'just happened'. Women LOVE that 'just happened'/happinstance/serendipitous experience. To achieve this it is your job to LEAD (this is a big part of leading the interaction/'setting the frame'). You are setting the stage/the experience for things to happen. Lights, camera, action. If she's coming over for dinner, have a condom in your pocket, or in the sleeve of your couch wherever. Store it in your foreskin even, who cares. Don't make it a thing, the situation should just flow, this way it creates that energy that things just happened. What's the difference between a creepy guy and a hot guy? Both are often decisive but she feels attraction towards the hot guy (I am oversimplifying). It is how they frame it to be. If you're stumbling around she may either find it cute (in the beginning), or say to herself 'Oh man this dude isn't very sure of himself/acting like its the first lay in a decade'. I agree, but then this was probably the worst LMR ive ever experienced. Thing is, she told me a couple of times she wanted to wait. It was going through my head to just grab the condom and put it on and just slide it in. But because she was already so hesitant on everything it didnt seem like a good idea to me as I didn't want to be accused of rape or something. I know its a fine line and maybe I should have tried more, but this time it seemed to me she was serious about it. How do you distinguish if a no is a real no?
|
|