mathers645
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Post by mathers645 on Jul 29, 2020 15:13:59 GMT
Need advice:
Liked this girl for a while, went out a few times....i work with her so i was slow to make a move....
About 2 months ago went on a date.... went great, at the end, i knew she really wanted to kiss but i wussied out and did not....
I tried to see her again but she began to be all flaky, probably because i didnt kiss her and she thought she wasted time....soooo i did no contact for 6 weeks...
Called her yesterday to set a date for Friday, i told her its the only day im available...she said shes not sure yet....; i thought it was more flakey shit and was gonna forget about it but this morning she texted me that she cannot do friday, but she can do thursday...tomorrow...
Should I...?
1. Tell her I still can't do thursday because im still busy...(maintaining social value) and see if she can move her plans around and try friday
2. Suck up some pride, and lose some value Go out with her thursday, make my moves and go for that damn kiss I should have 2 months ago
3. Tell her im going to let her know by end of day....and then at night tell her i moved something around from thursday and still go out with her thursday...keep in mind, this is afterr 6 weeks no contact/freeze out that i did
Advice?
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Post by JackZero on Jul 29, 2020 16:14:20 GMT
Stop overthinking this. If you can't do Thursday, then tell her that you can't and try for a day that you're both available. If you can do Thursday, then stop being so tactical. You want to see her and she wants to see you. There seems to be only one person in your way in this entire scenario and it isn't her.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jul 29, 2020 18:18:07 GMT
Do Thursday. Make food at home. Have drinks. Put Mr Squiggles in her. Stop playing games. Say "We can do Thursday at mine, I'll cook. Bring a toothbrush in case it gets late."
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Post by N2thevoid on Jul 29, 2020 19:14:18 GMT
Mr. Squiggles?
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Post by N2thevoid on Jul 29, 2020 20:46:56 GMT
Rather than run through a laundry list of reasons as to why she may not want to see you,
why don't you instead assume she's attracted to you and you're a man of value that the idea of a woman NOT finding you desirable is a ridiculous notion.
Instead of "How can she like a guy like me?"
"How couldn't she resist a guy like me!"
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mathers645
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Post by mathers645 on Jul 29, 2020 21:31:55 GMT
I'm 100% she likes me, im not worried at all about that....im more worried about losing power...sounds shitty, i know, I feel if if i meet with her on thursday i let her switch the day on me and it gives it takes away from me....perhaps im not explaining it right. I feel if I can convince her to come on my chosen day friday, she has to cancel something else...i.e invest more into this
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mathers645
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Post by mathers645 on Jul 29, 2020 21:32:55 GMT
Do Thursday. Make food at home. Have drinks. Put Mr Squiggles in her. Stop playing games. Say "We can do Thursday at mine, I'll cook. Bring a toothbrush in case it gets late." You may be just right!
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mathers645
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Post by mathers645 on Jul 29, 2020 21:34:55 GMT
Stop overthinking this. If you can't do Thursday, then tell her that you can't and try for a day that you're both available. If you can do Thursday, then stop being so tactical. You want to see her and she wants to see you. There seems to be only one person in your way in this entire scenario and it isn't her. I'm just worried about appearing like im the one investing..... i asked for friday, shes saying she wants thursday, i do have something small on thursday that i can reschedule but then its like im putting in all the effort and sacrifice.... id prefer for her to put in more effort in sacrifice instead....or am i really overthinking this way too much?
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chef89
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Post by chef89 on Jul 29, 2020 21:35:11 GMT
Agree with the rest here.
It's not 'sucking up pride' if you actually are available and you tell her youre not. That's game playing. You're not going to win her by faking that your schedule is full.
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chef89
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Post by chef89 on Jul 29, 2020 21:41:59 GMT
Stop overthinking this. If you can't do Thursday, then tell her that you can't and try for a day that you're both available. If you can do Thursday, then stop being so tactical. You want to see her and she wants to see you. There seems to be only one person in your way in this entire scenario and it isn't her. I'm just worried about appearing like im the one investing..... i asked for friday, shes saying she wants thursday, i do have something small on thursday that i can reschedule but then its like im putting in all the effort and sacrifice.... id prefer for her to put in more effort in sacrifice instead....or am i really overthinking this way too much? You're answering the question yourself already. So if Thursday makes you lose power, why don't you tell her its going to be next week? Why do you expect her to suddenly come out and make an effort, after a weird freeze out of 6 weeks? She has actually given you an option to meet her. I bet that if she's offering herself naked you still want more investment and 'power'.
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mathers645
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Post by mathers645 on Jul 29, 2020 23:14:35 GMT
Thanks for everyone's advice, feedback and tough love. I appreciate it! I agreed for tomorrow, shes coming my way and we are going on my Harley for a cruise and some hiking...later drinks. Wish me the best of luck and hopefully I dont wuss out this time and go for the kiss this time...or more.
Today I have a date as well with a hair dresser girl, I feel bad because Ive been seeing her to be able to freeze out the other.... shes a hottie, slender 22 year old (I'm 33)... one of the sweetest girls I have ever met...and even though we have done things... i dont feel any connection with her...
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Post by N2thevoid on Jul 30, 2020 0:35:39 GMT
you ride a harley and you're acting like this?
hahahjk
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Post by JackZero on Jul 30, 2020 3:13:32 GMT
OP, get out of the power dynamic thinking. A girl that 100% likes you isn't going to change her mind about liking you or look at you in a lesser way because you adjusted your schedule for her. However, if you were the one chasing her...then you may run into problems but even that isn't a big deal if you remain consistent in what you have presented her.
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Post by Heywood Jablowme on Jul 30, 2020 11:47:26 GMT
you ride a harley and you're acting like this? hahahjk Somebody had to buy a V-Rod
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mathers645
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Post by mathers645 on Jul 30, 2020 13:42:24 GMT
you ride a harley and you're acting like this? hahahjk ouch!!! I actually miss my sports bike! I'm not usually this tactical, but I know I messed up our last date 2 months ago by not going in for the kiss when she was begging for it....and the reason I wussied out is because she is a coworker, even when she was begging for it, my mind was racing different ideas on what would happen if she rejected me that day....even though its clear she wanted it! I was in my mind....and yes i often overthink things. Then she started retreating because she wants more of a relationship and I appeared like i was gonna be her lady-friend. So I retreated more for 6 weeks by cutting all contact, getting her to forget that.... it worked, she was very excited to hear from me. (The NO CONTACT scheme has always worked wonders for me, i recommend it to everyone when they have a situation where a girl is retrating.... but during this time period of she reaches out, dont ignore her, vaguely reply and make sure you are busy and working on yourself. (work out, grow your business, do whatever makes you happy) I'm glad all of you pushed me to make the date today and clearing it up for me....Shes going to be driving an hour each way to see me, so I guess thats an investment sort of speak...i just gotta man up today. I will be back here with a full report
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