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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 19:08:14 GMT
It's my first post here so here it goes -
I met someone on TikTok that I started chatting with. I made a few comments on her videos then she followed me and I eventually sent her a private message last Wednesday. We went back and forth, all light nonsense messages and after about 2 hours of going back and forth she made the first move and suggested we text instead and used the "I don't get notifications here" excuse. Ok, fine. So we text a little that same night and call it a day. On Friday I reach out to her with an opener and of course she bites right away. We once again text back and forth, got into a bit more deep subjects and she even says "I don't usually open up about these topics". I take that as an IOI. The following day I once again open up via text and we chat a little in the afternoon and that night she goes to the gym and sends me a selfie...of course...we text a bit more and once she's home I ask her what she's doing to which she replies with "nothing" and I say" so if I were to call you then you wouldn't have a reason not to pick up?" and her reply is "that is correct". So I give her a call and we talk for about 30 minutes...mostly about silly stuff and she's laughing left and right. This is a little after midnight. All of a sudden she gets another call (seemed like it was family or work) and she said she has to take the call that she'll call me right back in 10 minutes. About 15 minutes goes by and she texts me and says "still on the phone haven't forgotten about you - i'm sorry its taking so long". I reply with "no need to apologize I understand". I wait another 30-40 minutes (it's now after 1am) and i'm sleepy so I decide to call it a night and say "lets catch up some other time. have a good night!" to which I get a reply of "i'm sorry I was not expecting to still be on the phone. You too!".
This was Saturday night and it's not Tuesday and haven't heard a thing. On the surface I think the ball is in her court to reach out to me...but she hasn't. I'm the one that has for 3 times in a row initiated talking with her. Do I try again in a day or two or just let it be?
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 19:22:45 GMT
Umm...before we get into the whose court is it in type of talk, let's figure out what your conversations were like. To me it sounds like random talk about nothing but I could be wrong. To me, a call a little after midnight means she's talking to a guy that she is interested in and not actually family or work unless she is in a different time zone. If she is in a different time zone, this whole thing is a waste of time.
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 19:41:22 GMT
It's a 1 hour time difference - she has kids etc. I have absolutely no reason to believe it was some other guy she may have been interested in. Plus, she was texting me during her phone call... The texting for the most part was very light and fun. Talked about traveling and visiting different places, then we touched on a bit deeper subjects such as her father passing etc - and then talked about our families. Also talked about an accident I had since she's a nurse. I try to keep texting conversations to light and sweet. The communication once I initiated was very 50/50 split. Some of her responses are 10+ lines of text. I think I identified several indicators of interest including her sending me selfies on 2 occasions...I didn't ask for them or even mention it. Here's the screenshot of our last exchanges...notice where I called here at the end after she says "that would be correct" My messages are blue and hers are the grey ones.     |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 20:05:24 GMT
Sure...family and work may call after midnight but she wasn't texting you outside of letting you know she was still on the phone. The amount of texts she sent to you after the phone call came in isn't enough to imply that she was alone.
Here's the point I'm getting at. Your texts didn't have any meat on them when it comes to flirtation from you even though you only shown a couple of them. The phone calls that you are describing doesn't imply flirtation from you. What in your conversations would make her feel that there is attraction between the two of you? To me, it's obvious that she tried to show you that she was interested but you didn't do anything to show interest in return. If you didn't show any interest in return, then the ball isn't even in anyone's court right now. She took the ball and went home. If you expect anything to happen, you have to show a desire to see her and not be a phone buddy.
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 20:20:39 GMT
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 20:33:00 GMT
Okay...now I'm officially on your side when it comes to you flirting and showing that you find her attractive. If I were you, I would have reached out the next day especially since you were the one that said that you were going to bed. Get in touch with her and set up a day and time that you can meet.
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 20:43:36 GMT
Okay...now I'm officially on your side when it comes to you flirting and showing that you find her attractive. If I were you, I would have reached out the next day especially since you were the one that said that you were going to bed. Get in touch with her and set up a day and time that you can meet. First off we’re about a 10 hour drive from each other so can’t really do it just like that. I can easily fly to her but it will take 2-3 weeks to set it up. Also, because I want to understand this rather than just getting the answer. Why is it that it’s up to me to contact her when she’s the one that abruptly ended our call? What would you open up with and why? |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 20:54:39 GMT
Okay...now I'm officially on your side when it comes to you flirting and showing that you find her attractive. If I were you, I would have reached out the next day especially since you were the one that said that you were going to bed. Get in touch with her and set up a day and time that you can meet. First off we’re about a 10 hour drive from each other so can’t really do it just like that. I can easily fly to her but it will take 2-3 weeks to set it up. Also, because I want to understand this rather than just getting the answer. Why is it that it’s up to me to contact her when she’s the one that abruptly ended our call? What would you open up with and why? It's up to you for a few reasons. 1. You ended contact that night by saying you were going to bed 2. If it were work or a family issue, it may be big enough for you not to be so important because you haven't even met 3. She hasn't contacted you 4. She was important enough for you to join the forum to figure out what you need to do next |
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 21:07:09 GMT
Would you go with... 1) Something about u seems to always make me smile.  2) What sort of trouble are you causing? 3) A generic “Hey how’s it going?” 4) Something different? |
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 21:14:11 GMT
I'd send her something like this:  |
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 21:19:22 GMT
It's been sent...now we wait lol
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Post by pilgrimmeister on Aug 25, 2020 21:38:24 GMT
Good luck to you. Personally I have found going too deep into topics during text game before meeting them can backfire, as they will often build up this picture of you that you simply cannot live up to in the attraction sense when in physical company. Like a big build up to a supposedly hit film that doesn't live up to the hype. Just be careful not to dial in too much.
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Post by JackZero on Aug 25, 2020 21:43:13 GMT
It's been sent...now we wait lol Now the ball is in her court. |
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Post by newhere85 on Aug 25, 2020 22:05:50 GMT
Good luck to you. Personally I have found going too deep into topics during text game before meeting them can backfire, as they will often build up this picture of you that you simply cannot live up to in the attraction sense when in physical company. Like a big build up to a supposedly hit film that doesn't live up to the hype. Just be careful not to dial in too much. I completely agree with you, it's always such a wild card...but when we talked about it this is what she had to say which I took as an IOI. Didn't talk anything serious after this...  |
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chef89
MPUA Forum Addict
Posts: 308
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Post by chef89 on Aug 26, 2020 11:50:04 GMT
Just read your first screen cap that you posted here. That tells me enough to conclude the following two things:
1. Its way too boring
2. You're making things way too difficult.
You're exchanging facts, basically. Try to create some emotion by teasing/flirting/being fun and then suggest to meet. She is not going to feel anything for you by talking about laundry and spine issues.
Furthermore, you don't have to deep dive that much over text, save it for in person.
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