booster
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 16
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Post by booster on Apr 11, 2018 21:34:16 GMT
Can anyone recommend me a good way to open a conversation when going up to a girl? Before I just used something basic like "Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you", but I guess that doesn't work well too often. I've learnt the basics about Opinion Openers where you ask what she thinks about a certain topic and go from there. Can someone give me scripted openers that work well or some approach tips in general? Thanks
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taboo
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 6
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Post by taboo on Apr 11, 2018 22:14:04 GMT
Yeah you generally want maybe 3-4 openers that you can vary and get good at delivering. And depending on if you’re doing it in the daytime or not you may want to make a “statement of empathy” like “Hey I know this is weird but I wanted an opinion on this”. The statement gives her the idea that you aren’t all too creepy and more aware of social norms.
Note from moderator: It's fine if you want to port over materials from external sources, but don't post links. At least not as a new member with only 5 posts. That can be seen as shady behavior.
Nice little collection to choose from
Over time these openers will phase out and you’ll learn to instead polarize the woman more naturally. It’s a lot more bold and takes confidence but that’s for another post.
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Post by R.C on Apr 12, 2018 7:26:43 GMT
"Hey, I thought you were cute and wanted to talk to you", but I guess that doesn't work well too often. That is my favorite opener. You might however want to use a variation of it. There's a difference between: "Hey, I though you were cute and wanted to talk to you" and "Hey, I know this is a bit straightforward/awkward/weird/blunt, but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi". 2 things matter when you open. Your delivery and your material. With perfect delivery you can say just about anything. But by letting her know that you acknowledge she might feel a bit put on the spot by the social situation you're creating, she'll feel more comfortable with you doing it. It communicates that you have social awareness, and makes it a bit more personal. But again, delivery is the most important aspect.
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Post by GFRESH2DEF on Apr 13, 2018 7:39:46 GMT
I get it! As a newbie i too needed pickup lines and openers as training wheels. But at some point along your pickup journey..you will realize that scripted lines and openers will become obsolete! Yesterday evening, i opened a cute 20 year old girl (HB7.7 Dirty Blonde) who was sitting by herself at a table in Subway with "Sorry i'm late!". Our Megabus took a 20 something minute break at this rest stop in the middle of nowhere. On the Megabus..this girl sat a couple of seats behind us (me and my 1st ever wingman/my best friend) on the opposite side of us. Anyway..back to her sitting by herself at a table in Subway. I opened her with "Sorry i'm late!" as i sat down across from her at her table. I paused for a second..and then i said "I always wanted to say that line. Lol". She looks up at me from texting on her phone, smiles and laughs. She responds with "That was a good line actually Lol". Fast forward to me and her back on the Megabus..i'm sitting in a seat right next to her, to her left. The highlight moments with her is..a few kiss closes, her holding my left hand between her damp thighs (she got wet and horny), me whispering sex talk in her ears as she bashfully smiles and laughs (One of the things that i whispered in her ear about was..how i would fuck her in the bathroom of the bus station if her stop was at Pittsburgh. She actually said that she would've liked that. But unfortunately her stop was at West Virginia ), got her number & facebook, showed her an RSD free tour video on my phone while she was listening to it on my head phones (speaking of RSD..last night, me and my first wing were returning from a trip to Washington DC via Megabus. We attended an RSD seminar the day before)..all before her stop. It never was the line that got me those results with her, but rather all of the other stuff following the line. The line is nothing more than an icebreaker. You still need solid game to go with the pickup line or opener. You're going to have to learn and master all those other skills (ie..rapport, attractive confident body language, self-amusement, DHV stories, a familiarity vibe with the girl, seeding the pull, kino, clear/direct sexual intent) as well. The opening line by itself without those other skills to go with it, will get you nothing. -G
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Post by GenmLevel0 on Apr 13, 2018 22:26:11 GMT
From all the posts here I'd say the answer to your request lies in more details about the situations you're trying to navigate through. You'll use one set of openers in a club (I had someone I know open girls at clubs with "what's cooler, lemons or penguins?") , a different one during daygame (where the "hi you're cute" and its variations can work well), and yet a different one in college classes (I've read in the old forum about someone drawing a tic-tac-toe board on a piece of paper, drawing an X, and passing it to the girl next to him with the caption "Your turn"). If you want a good selection of openers, I'd say go back to the old forum and read a few Field Reports, some of the better writers will have the details of their openers.
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Post by N2thevoid on Apr 13, 2018 22:34:09 GMT
Openers = crutch
but if you need them in the beginning then i'm all for it till you find your legs
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booster
MPUA Forum Newbie
Posts: 16
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Post by booster on Apr 16, 2018 11:50:38 GMT
If openers are a crutch, what should I learn? I'm currently reading Models by Mark Manson, is there anything else I should read/ learn?
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tinman
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 86
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Post by tinman on Apr 16, 2018 16:23:33 GMT
Openers = crutch but if you need them in the beginning then i'm all for it till you find your legs We still have too open, though So I think you're saying that 'canned openers are a crutch'? And so you're advising to just say whatever comes to you mind or to just say 'hey!' or whatever? (although even 'hey' could be considered 'canned' depending on ones definition lol)
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Post by JackZero on Apr 16, 2018 17:00:10 GMT
Your opener can be canned or completely off the top of your head but all it is is something to grab her attention but it's the followup that's more important. If you walk up to a girl and said, "Hey, I though you were cute and wanted to talk to you," you have to have something to say to her afterwards and it should expand on that original statement until you can segue into a different topic. That's why R.C's mention on saying it's awkward, weird, etc... is great because it allows you to stay on topic of the awkwardness until you are ready for the segue.
When I read these questions on what are good openers, I realize that's not the real issue. The real issue is how do you move from hello to how do I get your phone number or let's go back to my place? My opinion is that you acknowledge the elephant in the room (your attraction to her) and then speak to her like a man that finds a woman attractive in a way that's suitable for the environment that you're in.
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tinman
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 86
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Post by tinman on Apr 16, 2018 17:33:59 GMT
When I read these questions on what are good openers, I realize that's not the real issue. The real issue is how do you move from hello I completely agree. That's why I always hate it when people say ''Just say hi'' when someone asks how to start a conversation with a girl. They obviously know that bit, lol. It's the transition.
My opinion is that you acknowledge the elephant in the room (your attraction to her) and then speak to her like a man that finds a woman attractive in a way that's suitable for the environment that you're in. Do you advise direct for nightgame, too? I made some of my first direct approaches this weekend just gone. I enjoyed how it took away the poressure of trying to think of a good situational opener, or trying to remember some opinion opener or whatever, although unfortunately, none of the girls were interested at all. Some people say direct is only good for handsome dudes?
I opened them and told them I know this is a bit cheeky, but I thought you looked hot and wanted to say hi. And then I transitioned into what it was that I noticed, such as her fashion or whatever. But each time, I was shot down pretty fast, lol
And if one was to open indirect and just be like ''Hey, what's up?', would the best and most natural transition be to just ask them how their night is going or whatever?
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Post by N2thevoid on Apr 16, 2018 17:40:36 GMT
"My opinion is that you acknowledge the elephant in the room (your attraction to her) and then speak to her like a man that finds a woman attractive in a way that's suitable for the environment that you're in."
Think about what JZ is saying. Once you grasp this u'll see that what you say is almost trivial. Indirect is playing it safe, direct is bold. Direct tell her you're sure of yourself as an attractive, worthwhile man and if she can't accept your invitation thats on her.
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Post by JackZero on Apr 16, 2018 17:59:55 GMT
I'd modify the statement to direct approaches are good for the dudes that have an easily observed value. A handsome guy has an obvious value. The guy driving a Maserati has an easily observed value when he's in his car. The DJ at the club has an easily observed value when he's playing music. If you're telling me that you approached women and acknowledged you found them attractive and consistently got shot down, it's likely that they aren't seeing the value in you. Talking about fashion doesn't show your value unless you are fashionable or she finds the topic of interest while you flirt with her while being on topic in order to increase your attraction.
EDIT: Night game is fast paced. Directness is to your advantage.
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tinman
MPUA Forum Enthusiast
Posts: 86
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Post by tinman on Apr 16, 2018 18:10:10 GMT
I'd modify the statement to direct approaches are good for the dudes that have an easily observed value. A handsome guy has an obvious value. The guy driving a Maserati has an easily observed value when he's in his car. The DJ at the club has an easily observed value when he's playing music. If you're telling me that you approached women and acknowledged you found them attractive and consistently got shot down, it's likely that they aren't seeing the value in you. True. But in if you're just a guy in a club (and you're not flashing your Lamborghini car keys in her face or whatever) your 'looks' are kind of all she has to go on in that first few seconds (where you open DIRECT) for her to decide your value, no?Talking about fashion doesn't show your value unless you are fashionable or she finds the topic of interest while you flirt with her while being on topic in order to increase your attraction. So What is better to transition into after a direct opener? I thought the idea was that you 'expand on the original statement' as you mentioned earlier, and that's what I thought I was doing by commenting on her fashion or her eyes or whatever? I must have miss-understood, so what SHOULD one say after the direct opener? You're saying it needs to 'show your value'? (so NOT necessarily expand on the original statement). Other than horribly 'bragging' examples which I don't imagine is what you are advising, i'm lost for ideas. EDIT: Night game is fast paced. Directness is to your advantage.
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Post by N2thevoid on Apr 16, 2018 18:18:05 GMT
The thing is you're approaching based on physical. It's not so much the what, its more the how (the energy). This is why one guy can comment on how nice her ass is and not get slapped, while the next gets shunned, for example.
That's why just being honest "I thought you were cute and wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I left w/o saying hi" is a better approach. It's open and honest and she knows you're attracted to her so why bring up some indirect thing. That said if you can see she put a lot of thought into her outfit, compliment her on that, or whatever stands out to you. It feels nice paying an honest compliment w/o expecting anything in return. And remember you're opening you by approaching, how she responds isn't the most important thing, the fact you pushed to action is and you build off that.
You can't really SHOW value intentionally, its something you have in yourself and others notice. This is why its so important guys invest in themselves, and be the best they can be for themselves. Everything else comes out of that.
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Post by JackZero on Apr 16, 2018 18:30:08 GMT
Easily observed values aren't limited to your looks and women give you a chance to display your value most of the time. For instance, you said that you approached women directly but when you changed the subject is when you got shot down. What got them to pay attention to you was your boldness/fearlessness and those are masculine qualities. Masculine qualities are attractive. That was your observable value but after that you didn't continue to display it. A handsome guy with nothing to say is going to continue to be handsome and the guy with the Lamborghini car keys is going to continue to have those car keys. You have to continue to show that boldness by continuing to show what you presented to her and that's why flirting is important. Flirting allows for you to keep attraction in the conversation.
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