Great Rotation Stories and Keeping it Going

[flyingbanana]

Figured this would be a good place to hear how you guys deal with your rotations, how the rotation evolves (grows, shrinks) over time/duration of each, and just generally the types of relationships you have with each of the women.  Also, as I have said a few times, I seem to not have a terrible problem getting sexual with the women that are into me but my issue involves post-sex conversations and activities and other ways to keep it generally exciting.  Curious your experiences.

8.5.5

[ekrin987]

Sometimes women just want sex with a guy. Period.

Right out of college and struggling professionally, I had similar issues.
Couldn't go out for a few day road trip because my car was a POS.
Couldn't really afford to do much that cost over the price of a movie ticket and popcorn, etc..


Honestly things changed as my career started to take off.
"Hey want to come over and watch netflix?"
Versus.
"I am going on a road trip down the west coast for about a week in my American muscle car."


Maybe your life is just at a point where you're getting women who are attracted to you for sex?
At the same time, they want more than just lounging around and texting entertaining banter all week long.

Maybe try adding some excitement to you lifestyle? Take up a hobby and invite them along.
It doesn't need to be expensive: fishing, wine tasting, boxing, boating, kayaking, camping, etc..

Anything but "want to come over and hang out" every other night should keep them interested in being around more often and maybe even viding to be a permanent attachment in your life.

[flyingbanana]

Well looks like the writer one wants to finally end stuff. We had tried to break it off once before but fell back into it. She wrote me all these nice cards and within the last couple weeks put up my pictures with her in her house. But, obviously something must of been going on behind the scenes. It is a good lesson that they can leave at anytime and to enjoy the ride. I do not think I will get the real story out of her, but she was a good lay and pretty reliable, so I am sad for that to end so abruptly. Here was the exchange/where we are at:
A couple nights ago I come over to her place after she had been out with her girl friend at some swanky bar by her place. She lives in a really nice area. Things are opening back up. BTW, for V-Day she dressed up as a french maid and spoke french to me, got us a really nice dinner, etc. But I was not super into it because I wanted to watch a sports event in background. But we got over it. A few nights later when we hung we watched sex and the city....one of her fave shows and I think she models some behavior off of it. But she had always wanted to go out instead of stay in so we also went out like she liked. We talk about what it would be like if we lived together, but I was just bullshitting, no real intention of doing that at all. She was into it though.

Anyway, so a few nights ago I come over after she gets home from her night with her friend and noticed she made some comment like men are weird or something. Guessing she got hit on while she was out, makes sense she's a good looking girl. She says let's snuggle in the bedroom and we proceed to do so, we have sex, and then I try to just lay there for a little because she usually yells at me for getting up too fast to leave and she likes it. Ha this time she said she has something important in the morning and politely tells me, I get the hint and leave. Something definitely felt off, I made some comment though that hanging like this is fine too if we don't have a ton of time, always nice to see (fuck, but didn't say that) her. Ok that was Thur night, next couple days normal stuff talk on phone text good morning and good night, etc. Last night was no diff I said goodnight and I get "Goodnight sweetie- I was just thinking of you. Xo " Then at 557 am I get "I haven't slept yet (emoji of eyes rolling)...So Im saying goodmrning babe! (kiss emojis and stuff) remind me later to tell you a joke I heard I though you'd think was funny" I was still asleep. Then at 1050 I get: "Hey I actually did get some sleep...but Um there's something important I need to discuss with you over the phone. You're going to hate me, but I think we should end our relationship" I respond after that with the normal good morning and she responds "I'm serious, flying banana. I've been thinking about it for a long time. I'm not strong enough to teach you how to be healthy because I'm trying to grow. Literally no one put this in my head, not my shrink, not my mom, not Val (one of her lady friends). You taught me how to love and respect a man in ways I never have, and I'll never ever forget that, and I'll always love you as a person for it. Please don't make me text I cant break up with you in a text."

Very strange and abrupt change of events. A couple weeks ago she told me she loves me etc. Try to keep it going? Cut off all contact? Ask for v-day gift back lol? What would you guys do. Kind of blindsided by this one.  It is funny I had started to be more like she liked, going out, being nicer, etc.  Ironic how it works like that.  I told her I would call her later, I am working, but not sure how what I will say.  Seems she liked me more when I was less like what she said she wanted.  Just very strange all around.  Any good questions you guys would ask her in order to learn from it?

8.6.1

8.6.1

[pilgrimmeister]

Move on from her. Sounds like she caught feelings but knew you'd never be exclusive just to her so has decided to move on.

[vagabond]

"I'm not strong enough to teach you how to be healthy..."

What did she mean by this? 

I guess it's not really relevant to what you're asking, but it stuck out to me pretty heavily because it seems that is what she's breaking it off with you over. Could be a thing to work on or look out for in the future. 

"A couple weeks ago she told me she loves me etc. Try to keep it going?"

Well not if you have no interest in falling in love with her at any point. 
I'm sorta uncertain as to what your intentions are with her and no one can really give any accurate advice if we don't know what you want from this. Like, what's your end game? Why do you want to keep her around? 

I'm gonna agree with Pilgrim on this one on first impression regardless because it seems you're in too deep and she's giving you a door out anyway.

[pilgrimmeister]

^^ He is right. If you plan on keeping them around, eventually you have to go down the exclusivity route. But you have brought up things in the past that don't make her compatible, like putting up with her alpha female friend treating her like dirt. It was also evident my previous posts about her that she was super into you. She had to call it quits.

With rotations, you will lose them eventually if they get too attached and you are not willing to commit.

What do you want your perfect girl to be like?

[flyingbanana]

Mar 7, 2021 15:05:57 GMT vagabond said:

"I'm not strong enough to teach you how to be healthy..."

What did she mean by this? 

I guess it's not really relevant to what you're asking, but it stuck out to me pretty heavily because it seems that is what she's breaking it off with you over. Could be a thing to work on or look out for in the future. 

"A couple weeks ago she told me she loves me etc. Try to keep it going?"

Well not if you have no interest in falling in love with her at any point. 
I'm sorta uncertain as to what your intentions are with her and no one can really give any accurate advice if we don't know what you want from this. Like, what's your end game? Why do you want to keep her around? 

I'm gonna agree with Pilgrim on this one on first impression regardless because it seems you're in too deep and she's giving you a door out anyway.

As to the first thing, I mean in all honesty my read is she watches too many of these Sex and the City type shows and then tries to base her thinking off of it.  She writes from that perspective, to point I feel like I am just a chapter in the book.  She sent me all these messages that were actually pretty bogus things to say about because of me she'll know how to love a man and respect a man, etc.  I feel like I was some sort of training/stepping stone for her.  But, she had previously told me how nobody ever made her feel how I do and that she doesn't even care about her friend (the one who had it out for me, yesterday writer said I would have to apologize to her if we ever re-connect, weird) because she is just so happy seeing me.  Anyway, she has this idea in her head that she is trying to grow blah blah and I am someone who can't relate in a healthy way because I don't have love.  She made me watch a Sex and the City episode a few weeks ago and I told her it is all just BS written to make people feel better or something along those lines and told her it is not real life.  Weirdly seems to have stung her, but again she thinks she's living in a tv show.  She thinks I am super messed up and it is unhealthy that I do not like to scarf pizza and candy.  I told her to respect my diet because I feel good when I am eating right etc.  She played along but mentioned it last time we talked how there is something wrong with me for making a big deal about not wanting to eat shit food.  (I like to stay in shape and feel good - part of working on myself and getting back to a leaner happier weight - she used to be fat and it obviously messed her up).  She played along got a pelaton and was acting all supportive until recently.  Another thing that stuck out was I made a joke that her dog just liked her because she fed it.  She had one of those annoying pocket dogs that she constantly talked to and babied.  I said you know it is just a dog.  She thinks I was jealous of the dog.  She truly believed the little dog was a human like creature that understood her and communicated the way a person would. Very weird comment when I told her that I did not want to be a part or written about in her book.  She said something like if it ever gets to that stage we can have the lawyers meet. WTF that comment was so strange and out of character.  Delusions of grandeour picturing herself as this big author, perhaps.


As to the second thing, I don't know, it is hard to say.  She was there for me in the sense that she was very nice, always got dressed up, was changing her ways to make me happy.  Deep down, she was convenient and liked to fuck, so I liked that.  Recently I guess I started to picture what a life with her would be like but eh (mentally we were very different but we also saw each other a couple times a week).  Funny thing is when I wouldn't answer her calls/texts while working or busy she would freak out.  But she would do that to me and I would be chill.  That said, she would put in the effort to make me happy but also would be upset that I would beat her at stuff like darts. She got us a dartboard and seemed honestly disappointed I am good at it.  She constantly made comments how other guys would fawn over her and how she wants to be with someone that obsesses over her and tells her she's pretty etc.  Last time I saw her, she made some comment asking me if I thought she should get a nose job (her alpha friend that hated me had gotten one).  Everything kind of switched on a dime.  Last time was the first time I notice she put our pictures up.  When I talked to her on the phone yesterday, it was like a different person, she made a comment how the earrings I got her were cheap as fuck (they were $800....) but then said sorry once I sent screen shot of the price.  But she also mentioned that evil friend which I thought was super odd.  Random thing to mention.  But, I think she is very easily manipulated.  The fact she had to tell me nobody told her to break up makes me think ironically someone did.  But moreover, I could tell something was off the last time I saw her, she had went out for drinks.  She must of met someone.  A couple weeks ago she randomly asked me if I am still on the dating app we met on.  On the phone yesterday she made a comment about how after going out she realized that some men can actually carry on conversations... very out of character comment, like she had to come up with everything she could to make herself not be into me.  Was much meaner.  She had mentioned some joke she wanted to tell me in the good morning text before the break up one  (a mere 5 hours prior), so I asked her what that was about on the call, she said she had valium (her doctor prescribed it to her, another red flag) and it had been making her giggle.  Weird out of context comment, maybe something mentally flipped - up and down in a short time period.  Her evil friend had told me that this one used drugs previously, which I mentioned too and she agreed that was messed up but still it was whatever.  She said I couldn't come see her because she knew she would "cave" but she could leave the jewerly with her door man.  I said just keep it.  Then in an act of immaturity, I sent her a pic of an engagement ring (it was for someone else in my past, but I have now for if I ever meet "the one.").  She said she would never marry me.  She texted also did I get that ring for her I ignored, then she sent another that was EX GF's (EX's name) ring.  That was last text maybe I should respond something like you know if you ever want to work things out just let me know, if not you know where to find me.  Or, should I just leave it dangling.  Weird stuff I know, but sometimes can't help self.  It is like someone mentioned before about other women, sometimes you bring them up they get all confident then they drop you like you never existed.  Here, that seems to be the case. She played out a whole fantasy with me while she now thinks she some super model type that deserves a better man, chasing the greener grass...

Long story short - convenient girl who seemingly was in love with me (and told me she was and told me when she knew) and told me I made her feel the way no man ever had, suddenly flips and tells me it is over.  Someone I would see a few times a week and have dinner with, drinks, chat, great amazing sex.  I think ultimately if I could keep it going a while longer that would be nice, but I do not see a long term future with her.  But was a great escape from my day and she had a very nice place, accommodated me, always wanted to look pretty for me and make me happy, etc.

8.6.1

8.6.1

8.6.1

[GFRESH2DEF]

I agree with the other guys in this thread..that the only business that you have left with this woman..is to be in a committed relationship with her. That's what i believe, that's all she wants from you at this point. But from all of the stuff that you've said in your posts so far..i have the feeling, that you do not want to commit to her. So if that's the case..then any further dealings with her, short of commitment..will be toxic experiences for you. There were many red flags, in this latest update, that involves her. And the thing that bothered me the most..was when she said that, your lawyer and her lawyer can meet, if it ever comes to that. That was very weird. And it came across to me, as a threat or a warning. So she clearly laid out some boundaries for you, if you decide to proceed things with her, without getting into a fully committed relationship with her. So for her..it's obviously over, unless you commit to her. And for you..it's just over lol. In my opinion..i would just cut her loose, if you can't see yourself with her, in a long-term committed relationship.




-G

[JackZero]

My perspective on this is that this isn't her telling you it's over. This is her Hail Mary pass. This is her wanting to get you to "fight" for her. They'll tell you what you're thinking so that you can defend yourself. They'll tell you what you're ready for so that you can defend yourself. They'll contrast where you are as compared to where they are in order to get you to defend yourself. They want you to tell them that they are wrong and you'll prove it. A "not your girlfriend" girl, in most cases, is not going to reach out to you to let you know that things are over. They'll wait for you to initiate contact in order to have that talk.

If it were me, I wouldn't try to make it go any longer. I wouldn't do any passive aggressive shit like sending pictures of engagement rings. I wouldn't send her a text saying that she knows where to find me.

I like you FlyB, and I think I would be doing you a disservice if I didn't point this out:

Or, should I just leave it dangling.

This statement bothers me because this is YOU showing that you don't want things to end with this girl.  This is you knowing that she isn't serious about the her ending things with you.  Your muscle memory on how you dealt with your Ex of however many years is kicking in and you are about to go in circles with this girl just like you did with your Ex.  It's almost like you want these women to love you so you have access to to their panties and once you secure that access you complain about the things they do.  I think you really care about these girls like you would any other friend but that's as far as it goes.  However, you'll do just enough to keep them on a string to not lose the guaranteed sex while they are around because you give them hope of more (for example...the engagement ring pic and the $800 pair of earrings).  You give them gestures of potential relationship but you act like an FWB.

[flyingbanana]

Jack, you’re right and i know it, the muscle memory is strong, it changed me and my reaction so here’s the update - I guess ego got in the way, so I sent her a text just letting her know that if I’m as important to her as she says I am, then I think it makes sense to discuss and see if we can work it out. (Yeah I get it this is creating a toxicity probably, but it is more my ego - not wanting to be rejected (which I get is anti-development). Hours later I get:
... You’ve made an amazing case for yourself and for us. Just give me some time ok? In the meantime I wish you peace, and of course I will probably always care about you. I just need time and space.” I didn’t respond. Then I get another text half hour later:

“And I don’t know why I’m telling u this I guess Bc I still like telling you stuff (me to you guys: wtf it’s been a day, she’s sounding like it’s been weeks another red flag it seems) but I watched all three fights last night. The woman was really cool kissing her wife and baby after and the third one I was so happy for that polish guy...he just wanted it so badly and he did it!”

She knows I have mentioned watching sports with guy friends before. I haven’t responded at all because seems to me she went out with another guy and/or wants to keep me on her beck and call (which would mean I lose all the power) so thinking I’ll say answer should be clear and make up sex is always great. Or just not respond at all and wait till she starts trying more and more to reach me. What would you do? Goal is sex and hanging out for now if salvageable (but I think it’s irreconcilably ruined and will be toxic if I’m honest). Seems she is trying to reframe with her being the alpha. But, it seems more like a battle now which sucks but as Jack pointed out, is the response it triggers; love hate type stuff that just stimulates me mentally I suppose (and she knows what I went thru with the longer ex and may be using it against me - she’s sees a legit shrink and has tons of money, so wouldn’t shock me If it’s some psychological method she was told to use/try).

[JackZero]

Her shrink isn't going to give her advice to manipulate you.

[flyingbanana]

Mar 8, 2021 21:15:29 GMT JackZero said:

Her shrink isn't going to give her advice to manipulate you.

Ha yeah, she figured it out on her own I suppose. That said, so if you were in my shoes based on the last few texts she sent me, what says you?  I feel like now I want to chase her (the switch/mental muscle memory triggered) and that maybe she is worth it now.  It changes how I perceive her, which I know seems silly.  I don't appreciate while I have but then when cracks I want it.  (ha maybe I am re-living the ex through her; because I agree FWB is the ideal, but then it shifts into GF territory)  But even if I respond I feel like I will just be crawling back and she will dictate everything and lose all attraction anyway.  Which begs the question, straight up ignore now even after she sent that response? Or, something else?

8.6.1

8.6.1

[JackZero]

Your mindset is messed up. You want her because she told you that she doesn't want you. She's not good enough for you when she actually does want you. For all of her red flags, you aren't seeing that you are the real problem in this. FFS, you sent her a picture of an engagement ring that was actually for your ex to imply that you were willing to marry her while thinking that she wasn't even good enough for a relationship.

Other guys may be willing to give you advice on how to keep her around but it wouldn't sit right with me. I was hoping you would read what I wrote on my first post in this and realize that you had some issues for yourself to address so you can have the type of relationship with women you like without bring that toxic part of you into it. There are plenty of women out there that would be fine being a FB or FWB but you are trying to pretend to be the boyfriend when that's not really your intention. I believe that you are losing the women that you want (i.e..the hot girl) because you'll text them everything they want to hear when they aren't around but when they are in front of you the only thing that matters is their vagina.

[flyingbanana]

Mar 8, 2021 23:06:31 GMT JackZero said:

Your mindset is messed up. You want her because she told you that she doesn't want you. She's not good enough for you when she actually does want you. For all of her red flags, you aren't seeing that you are the real problem in this. FFS, you sent her a picture of an engagement ring that was actually for your ex to imply that you were willing to marry her while thinking that she wasn't even good enough for a relationship.

Other guys may be willing to give you advice on how to keep her around but it wouldn't sit right with me. I was hoping you would read what I wrote on my first post in this and realize that you had some issues for yourself to address so you can have the type of relationship with women you like without bring that toxic part of you into it. There are plenty of women out there that would be fine being a FB or FWB but you are trying to pretend to be the boyfriend when that's not really your intention. I believe that you are losing the women that you want (i.e..the hot girl) because you'll text them everything they want to hear when they aren't around but when they are in front of you the only thing that matters is their vagina.

I totally do get what you are saying and I did read what you wrote.  I think that is the messed up part though is that my view actually changes when I realize what I am losing out on; with them, I have to act the part for the attraction right, I mean that is what game is all about at it's core- fake it til you make it, drive up attraction, etc.  I do not really have any difficulties getting to point of having a woman interested in me, getting laid, etc.  But it is the transforming from the type of guy who gets laid to the sensitive bf type that messes me up; we have had it hammered into us that is what makes us "beta" and as soon as you do it, they lose all attraction.  She is the one pushing GF BF narrative, that is what she is making happen with her behavior - remember, the "asshole" version of me she would say she didn't like and wished I was more obsessed with her, compliment her more, yet at same time  she tried so hard to get me to stay with her exclusively and not fuck around with other girls, and be the perfect woman for me.  As soon as I started to finally get comfortable and be more of a loving guy (sent her flowers, nice note, etc) and mentioned what it would be like if we moved in together hypothetically, etc. is when she hit me with the break up text.  She does have red flags, but she also triggered my fight for her response when she did what she did.  So to me, mentally, she becomes good enough as a subconscious response to her action.  It is no different than the returning fox game theory.  Classic game always said to leave them dangling with some hope.  It is just reversed on me now.  Which is probably a bigger issue for most of us; the tactics we use for game can be used on us too and it is hard to reconcile/guard against it.  In other words, the guy I would want to be with her, would of probably never gotten laid and her obsessed with me.  It would of been just an AFC like every other guy she was with (remember she mentioned many times how she wanted a guy to fawn over her etc but in reality would love banging me).  Now someone else probably has filled that role and I have become the AFC.  But that is the thing now, right?  She is the one that says one thing but does the other - reaching out to me talking, telling me she likes talking to me.  Before, it was very sexual and she just wanted to fuck me whenever she saw me.  The transition is the problem.  Game will get you laid and find you women but the problem is when can you turn into the nice loving AFC type without turning them off?  Or is the solution just all short term relationships and when the sex spark ends, just bounce and let it go?  As to the hot girl, that is a good example if I would of let my guard down I would of been hurt much worse when it ended. 

8.6.1

[JackZero]

I keep saying this on the forum. You need to figure out how to present yourself as an attractive man. Sure, there's some faking it until you make it here and there. You may fake things like enthusiasm, confidence, etc., but what you are doing is faking your intentions. When you first joined the forum, you kept posting how you kept telling girls how you want a blowjob or the next time you come over if the two of you enjoy yourselves during the date that you can have sex. That's who you really are but you don't know how to present it in an attractive way. You not being able to present that is your actual sticking point.

Most girls will fuck you if you present yourself as a sexual being and she finds you attractive. If they see that you have potential, they'll try to figure out how to fit in your life. You said you are starting a business. That's potential. You said that you were living a healthy lifestyle. That's potential. You have less need for "game" to get women because you are getting your shit together, which is what is more attractive. You should have less of a problem than the guy that is fumbling around trying to get women because he has no attractive qualities outside of having a dick and he can pull off cocky/funny.